In the Eyes of a Wallflower

Weekend plans?

Finally, a week has passed of school with the daily routine setting in easily. I am still ahead in all of my classes, so I have started to pay more attention to the people around me. Daily Brittany still shows up late to biology after always going to the bathroom before class. She is continuously starting her day by spending time in there and it just doesn’t add up. I’m not one to judge someone’s bodily fluids but it doesn’t make any sense that this has become part of her routine. The bell rings pulling me from my thoughts, and I set into what appears to be an easy Friday. Passing through the day somewhat bored, I start to notice more of the people around me doing interesting things. Some might even say that their actions could mean that they were hiding something. ‘Hmmm I’m beginning to consider the idea of maybe journaling or blogging about my peers.’

 Through lunch, I feel my mind wandering off between school and Anna. I need to do something to show her how much she means to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as strong as she is. The possibility of her not being able to have children is gut wrenching, and she is willing to face the challenge head on. After some of our conversations I know that something Anna has always ever wanted is a family of her own. She has been working her way thru college supporting herself. Of course, my dad makes sure that her and Mrs. Lucy are well taken care of. However, Anna refuses any sort of extra help. She works hard every day to pay for her own expenses and save for a life after her schooling.

Spending so much time trying to better herself she isn’t one to be caught up in her family medical history. After these test results came back, she looked into it more and found out that cervical cancer runs in her family, so she has always been a higher risk. Unfortunately, fate would have it that she would be the one to get it, especially in the prime of her life. Thinking over Way to help my dear friend I find myself running on auto pilot throughout my classes.

By the end of the day, I’m not even excited for English class since I’ve thought myself into a depressed state. ‘How can I show the same determination towards helping support her as she has always done for me?’ I decide that I’m going to do some research into different medicines and hospitals that could potentially help. Even if she doesn’t want it, I’m sure dad would be able to pull some strings to get her the help she deserves. I don’t know if he will still be home, though. Usually, he only spends a day or two at the absolute most. I could always just email him and ask. Since this is the last day that I may be able to ask in person, I’ll have the driver rush me home.

I thank him and wish him well once we get back to the house. walking inside, I see Dad’s study doors open. I rush towards it hoping to catch him before he leaves only to find Mrs. Lucy dusting. “Hello Mrs. Lucy, Is my father already gone?” I ask looking around the room, “Oh, hello my dear girl. Yes, your father has already taken off for his trip. He will be in Chicago for the next week, before taking off to Arizona for a big trial.” She smiles so sweetly at me. I can tell she is hurting from the news of Anna as well, yet she tries to show strength for me. I feel myself appreciating her even more. We will help Anna make it through this. I just know it.

 “Oh. ok well I’ll be in my room until dinner.” I say and start to walk away. “Oh, Casey dear, I was wondering if tomorrow you would like to spend the day out with Anna and I?” She asks. “I feel as though it would help boost the poor girl even more before her first oncology appointment.” I nod “I’d love to. Um how about the mall and a movie? We could get Anna’s nails done and her hair too maybe? You know, you help her feel refreshed?” I suggest. “Yes, that sounds wonderful and we can eat at her favorite restaurant.” She smiles wider now, getting excited. I can’t help but smile in return. Her energy is so radiant that it is rubbing off on me.

After making our plans I trudge up the steps to my room. I open my door toss my bag on my desk and flop on my bed. I flip over grabbing my iPod and shuffling my music, before grabbing my journal to write out all of the feelings mulling around in my head.

Entry 45

Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top my lungs. Until every breath I breathe hurts. Why can anything ever stay good for long? I just got home, I was getting better, I was getting happy again and now this? f**k CANCER!!! I hate sitting back and watching the people I love have to hurt. I just want to be happy, normal, and to just live my life as boring as possible. I mean what person dreams of being boring. Only the ones who never get to experience it. It’s something you would think I would have easy with being invisible and all but there is always an interference. I can’t catch a break in trying to have a mundane life.

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Ugh! I slam my pen down and close my journal with a shaking hand. My brain is so all over the place that writing down the problem is only making it worse. I just wish this weren’t happening. I pull my knees up against my chest and wrap my arms around them putting myself in a cocoon of sorts. Burying my face in my arms, I let my tears fall quietly until I am lulled to the point of being numb. I glance at the clock and see that it is almost 6 o’clock meaning dinner will be ready soon.

I grab some comfy pajama pants and a hoodie and head in the bathroom for a quick shower. Hopefully, the warm water can wash away some of my anxiety. A turn my iPod on shuffle and hook it up to the home speakers in my bathroom before cranking the water up as hot as it will go. Once the steam starts to roll out around the curtain I slip out of my clothes and into the scalding water. At first the heat makes me cringe, but I sit through it long enough for it to soothe the soreness in my body. I scrub my hair and body clean and then shut the water off stepping out into the bathroom again.

The shower didn’t make the mental agony go away but it did help with some of the physical ache. As I blow dry my hair my stomach starts to grumble alerting me to check the time again. I step out of my bathroom right as a small knock echoes through my room from the door. “Dinner’s ready!” Anna chimes beyond the barrier. “I’ll be right down!” I answer back as I throw my uniform into the laundry basket.

I head down to the dining room and see that we are having burgers and loaded fries. My smile stretched from ear to ear knowing we get to have such a leisure meal now that Dad left. My parent’s love the finest of everything but I still prefer simplicity. I slide into my seat grabbing a plate and shoveling some fries into my mouth. “Well, I see you have your appetite today dear.” Says Mrs. Lucy as she rounds into the room setting some more toppings onto the table.

I stack all of the fixings on top of my cheeseburger. And set it down on my plate waiting for Anna and Lucy to get their plates fixed too. We all start digging into our food and eat in a comfortable silence. I look over at Mrs. Lucy and smile again knowing that we will do what we can to help Anna enjoy her day tomorrow. I finish eating my meal and ask to be excused. Anna and Lucy both nod and wish me ‘goodnight’ before I start my ascension of the stairway. I walk in my room with a full stomach and an exhausted mind and decide to go ahead and curl up under my blankets to try and sleep.

My mind stays quiet through the night. a lack of dreaming just leaves room for sound and peaceful sleep which I am going to need. I wake up at around 7am and can already smell breakfast being cooked. With a newfound excitement I hop out of bed and rush into my closet. I grab a basic pair of jeans and a band t-shirt that hangs halfway down my thighs. Adding my converse and a hoodie I run down the stairs taking them two at a time. Anna is walking by the stairway right as I reach the bottom. I spin her around and she starts giggling along with me. “Wow, I see you are in a great mood this morning Casey. Did you sleep well?” I nod vigorously, “I slept great! And today is going to be fun!” I rush off into the kitchen to see if I can help Mrs. Lucy in any way.

I rush into the room and when I go to stop, I slide on the rug. After sliding a few feet, it slips from under my feet tossing me on the floor. I land on my belly with a loud thump and can’t contain my laughter. Lucy rushes over to me in a panic, “Oh, dear! Casey! Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”

I laugh a bit more and stand up, brushing dust off of the front of my clothes. “I’m fine Mrs. Lucy.” I chuckle, “That was actually kind of fun.” She looks me over for a minute as if searching for blood. Once she has seen that I am not hurt she grabs me by the ear, “Now don’t you do that again young lady. You gave me a fright! After your accident falling the wrong way could put you back into that blasted hospital!” She huffs after her outburst but then pulls me into a big hug, “Please be careful sweetie. I don’t need you getting hurt again.”

“Sorry Mrs. Lucy.” I mumble into her shoulder. Trying to lighten the mood I ask how I can help in the kitchen. “Oh nonsense. Scurry your behind on into the dining room. Maybe you can help Anna set the table.” She says waving me out of the room. I head over to where Anna is setting plates out with silverware. “Let me do that Anna. Why don’t you take a seat and relax. Today is all about you.” I say smiling. She gives me a look that says she wants to argue but reluctantly she hands me the tray of dishes and goes to her usual seat at the table. I rush out of the dining room long enough to grab the book Anna was reading from the chase and I give it to her, so she doesn’t feel awkward just sitting at the table.

Once breakfast is finished, we all sit and eat talking about what movie we will see today and what kind of things we may buy while at the mall. We all pitch in cleaning up the mess from our meal and then we grab our bags and head outside. As Mrs. Lucy heads for her car, I stop her. “Let’s have Dad’s driver take us around today. It’s supposed to be a relaxing day for us all so why not allow yourselves to be chauffeured around for once?” They give each other a look before both shrugging and walking over to the small limo that dad uses for events.

Benjamin steps out of the driver’s seat and walks around to open the door for us, “Good morning ladies. How can I be of service to you all today?” I smile as Lucy and Anna step into the back seat. “Hey Ben! Thanks for driving us today! I wanted to set up a day of leisure for Anna and Lucy since they do so much for us here. Can you please drive us to the mall?” he nods as I follow Anna into the back seat before he shuts the door after me. The limo pulls off in the direction of our destination for the day. I turn to Lucy and Anna, “Want something to drink?” I ask holding a water bottle out to each of them. They both accept with a “thanks” and look around at the interior of the limo.

“This is so nice.” Anna spoke up. I shrug since this isn’t really new for me, but I say, “I’m glad you like it. So…” I trail off as hey both turn their full attention my way. “hair and nails are first since I called and got us appointments at the same time. Any idea what you want to do with your hair?” I ask glancing between the two of them. Anna blushes looking down at her hands in her lap. “I have honestly never had anything done to my hair. My mom would always cut my hair as a child and as an adult I’ve never really seen any reason for doing anything special with it.” She shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head. Mrs. Lucy looks over at Anna with a warm smile, “Maybe the stylist will Have an idea. Or you can look in a magazine for ideas when we get there?” Anna smiles back, “Sure. So, what will you be having done?”

Lucy tilts her head as if to think about it, “I think I am just going to get a perm. The curls will make it easier to pin my hair up.” She laughs a bit, and we join in. the rest of the ride goes quickly as we talk about ways to have our nails done and how nice it is to have a girl’s day out. In no time we are pulling up out front of the mall.

As we come to a stop, Benjamin walks around and opens the rear door for us all to exit the vehicle. “Thanks, so much Ben! We will be here until about 6pm. So, you can do whatever you please with your day today until then. We have dinner reservations at seven at La Fete de Fantaisie.” He nods in understanding, “Thank you, young miss. I will be across town visiting my brother for a bit. If you need me before six just call my cell.” I nod back and grab Anna and Lucy’s hands pulling them along into the mall.

We head straight for the Paul Mitchell Salon that my mother sponsors. Phillip and she are good friends so he was able to close the shop down for just us for a few hours today since he is the owner. “Okay. Anna, Lucy? This is Phillip. He owns the shop and will be taking care of us today.” He leans in and kisses us al on the cheek. “Oh! Casey I am so glad to see you in here today! Will you be letting me make you fabulous?!” I just shake my head laughing slightly. “Thanks Phillip, but no. Today I was hoping you can take my dear friend Anna and show her what a Goddess she truly is? I just want some subtle highlights, nothing major.”

Turning his attention to Anna, Phillip circles her like a vulture for a second sizing up a plan in his mind. She looks uncomfortable but I know she will love everything Phillip chooses to do. He then nods with a gasp, “I know just what to do with you lovely! Please come sit in my chair. Anya, Ciara please tend to these other two beautiful ladies.” He says waving a hand our direction as he gets Anna settled into the chair. Lucy and I follow Anya and Ciara and explain what we would like to have done to our hair today and they get started. As we relax into the chairs a few more ladies walk out offering us drinks and asking what we look like done with our nails. I request simple black fingers and toes and then start to nod off as I am being pampered.

After about an hour nap I am woke up to go over and have my hair washed out now that my nails are done and dry. Once finished Anya asks if I would like my makeup done, but I choose to skip that part for today. After I am finished, I walk over to the main counter intending to pay for all of our work today, but I am stopped by Phillip. “Oh! No. no. no. no. No! you will not be paying for our services today. This is on the house my dear.” He says startling me. I nod but drop a $100 into the tip jar to at least show my gratitude. I walk to where Phillip is holding a towel in front of Annas face to hide her view of the mirror. Mrs. Lucy comes up behind me and we both nod waiting to see the final product.

“I give you the new and improved Anna!” Phillips waves his hand before dropping the towel so we can all see Anna’s reflection. Her eyes get huge and Lucy and I both cover a gasp with our hands. “Wow! Anna you look amazing!” I shout while hugging Phillip. He pulls the smock from around Anna’s shoulders helps her stand up to take a closer look. Her once simple brown hair now has blonde highlights and auburn lowlights throughout. Phillip has also done her makeup and a very natural blush and brown smokey eyeshadow. The blue tinted eyeliner really has her green orbs popping behind the thick layer of lashes that he enhanced a bit. Her look is finished with a soft rosy pink lip stick that defines her plump lips without drawing too much attention to them. She lifts her hand to touch her face and catches a glimpse of her sparkling pink hombre nails. She diverts her attention to the manicure and gasps again. “Everything looks so good! Oh, my goodness! You are amazing!” she shouts throwing herself into Phillips arms to hug him. He laughs and pulls Lucy and I over into the hug as well. “It was my pleasure to help show off how beautiful you are. I am so glad we could get you ladies dolled up for your day out. Now go get outfits to match your looks! Go! Go! And Have a wonderful day!” he says pushing us towards the exit. I thank him again and we decide to walk into a shop next door to the salon to check out some clothes.

Mrs. Lucy is instantly drawn to a maroon sheath dress and black blazer set. She rushes into the dressing room to try it on. I walk around with Anna until I see a soft rose-colored pencil skirt and a silk burgundy blouse. I grab them and push her into the fitting booth next to Lucy. I also grab some accessories for the both of them, tossing them under the door of the booths. While they get dressed, I wander the store for a minute making up my mind that I will dress up a bit since we will be enjoying fine dining for the evening. I find a black slightly baggy sweater dress and some grey leggings. I add a couple bangles and some black elf boots and then run in to get changed myself.

We all count to three before walking out of our booths together. I look over at the two gorgeous ladies in front of me and get so excited that I jump in and hug them. They both look so happy. It makes this trip all the more worth it. I gather all of the tags from our outfits and run up to the register to cash out. Lucy and Anna are so caught up in complementing each other that they don’t even realize I covered the bill. I rush to the back grabbing both of their hands and pulling them out of the store with me so we can go grab some coffee and lunch before our movie.