Big Pimpin

KILO  Sitting near the edge of my cot that sits in the middle of the dorm, twisting one of my Locs that came loose in my sleep through the night. Reflecting on the first time seeing another man perform oral s*x on another man. It’s not that I’m a homosexual. However, I was four years in lonely, depressed, and horny as hell, walking into the showers that morning. I stood watching them for a while as my body felt the way it would, as if I were watching a porno. But that was as real as the boner I had. Watching them watching me, as I jacked off. Just days after that, the man in drag who gave oral to the other man standing. He and I got acquainted while finding out that the drag’s name is Queen and that we have a lot in common. We fell in love and came up with secret codes. And also secret ways to get around the guards so that we could get close to each other without the guards and the other inmates suspecting anything. I have been in over five fights because of our friendship with other inmates, but it never stopped me from getting close to him. Nor have we gotten caught sneaking around in any of our s****l acts in the six years we’ve been sneaking. Queen is the first to make me ejaculate as hard as he did when we were together as he penetrates my g spot slowly with his fingers. He says that it is the male’s prostate gland. I wanted to avoid believing it, knowing that’s the place doctors look for cancer polyps in people. And any bacteria can cause them to appear. I thought women were the only ones with a g spots. I had no choice but to go with it because it felt great. But I have never wanted to be penetrated with a p***s, although I enjoy penetrating that tight honey pot. Here it is, ten years later, and I must leave him in the past due to I get out today. However, he’s here for life off a murder charge. I sigh, getting up, thinking of why he didn’t fight as hard as I did on my murder charge. Walking to the other side of the dorm, I trip over something at Queen’s bunk, crossing over to K.B.’s bunk. Not intentionally, but I instantly looked back to see what it was, and it was his slippers. I stop in my tracks and look at him to see if he noticed. He did but quickly looked away as our eyes met. I shove my shoulders and proceed to K.B. standing at his sink near his bunk, watching me through the steel mirror above the sink. Standing behind K.B., I check my brown reflection in the small cloudy steel mirror screwed into the wall above the small also steel sink attached to a steel toilet. I flex my chest and shoulders in the mirror, looking over K.B.’s shoulder as he looks annoyed by me. I chuckle and turn to take a seat on the floor. Watching Queen bend over and adjust slippers on the floor. Screeching echoes of his bunk comes over the dorm as he sits on it, staring at me. Throwing my locs out of my face as I look back to K.B. standing at the sink, continuing to wash his face. I look back to Queen as he’s looking at me, so I do push-ups. “Don’t worry about him, Kilo. He’s just mad he ain’t getting out.” K.B. said out of concern as he kneeled next to me while patting me on the back, noticing Queen and I staring at each other from across the dorm. I quickly put on a fake frown as I Continue to do push-ups. I wink to Queen as a signal to let him know to switch it up as K.B.’s kneeled next to me, drying his face with a white t-shirt. He throws up his arms and looks the other way. “I’m not worried about him. I’m worried about myself. As I did one-handed push-ups, I patted my chest. You know I can’t let Queen run up on me. You know how he is when someone f***s with his stuff.” I said, watching Queen as he got up, bends over, grabs his slippers. Queen looked back at me as he bent over and looked at me with gentle eyes. He quickly rubs his sack and drops his hand as he twists his hips, walking my way. K.B. stands to his feet as I continue to do push-ups as Queen gets closer. Noticing that it aroused him, I stand to my feet as several of my front locs hits his small hard p***s. I look back to K.B., slowly walking back to the sink as I give Queen a slight grin. I move in closer, knowing we both stand five feet five inches. There wasn’t any chance my lips would miss his. Rolling only my eyes from side to side to see if anyone else around the dorm apart from K.B. behind me is paying any attention to us. There are a few watching, but not enough for anyone to notice anything. Playing it off in one swift motion. I quickly pushed my face against his as the left side of my lips met his as I placed my hands on his chest while slightly pinching his right n****e as I quickly pushed him off me. “Look, Queen says, staggering from the push while giggling to himself. But, Kilo, I was just coming to tell you to watch where you’re walking next time.” “My bad, Mann, I tripped.” “f**k your bad. It’s my damn slippers that got dirty.” Queen says dramatically with false aggression, standing six feet away from me as more people stare. “It’s no problem, and you can have mine. I said, stepping out of my slippers. You can also have anything I leave today. f**k it, trying not to let any more drama escalate because I get out today. Queen snatches the slippers and begins twisting his way back to his bunk, throwing his head like he has a head full of hair. Thinking Queen might have deeper feelings than I do. I inhaled and exhaled as I took a seat on K.B.’s bed. K.B., it’s hard, Mann.” I said as he took a seat beside me as I had my head down with both hands gripping my locs. Knowing Queens, my prison love has held me down for over half of my time. But that’s all we will ever be. Sky’s my true love, but she never wrote a letter nor visited after three years. Feeling lost after two years when my people died, I could only confine in Queen and K.B.’s old ass. “Kilo, you should know you did the right thing, young blood. He says as he attempts to rise from the low bed. I finally let go of my hair and stand to my feet, helping him up as he gets stuck. You must have forgotten you’re getting out today? Cause what you did. He hesitates, staring down at me with his hand on my shoulder while we stand in the middle of his bunk and an empty one. That is how you’re supposed to take all situations. Not that I don’t know what’s going on with you and him, but let that be a lesson. He says, pointing his finger at my face. Feeling offended, I turn my back to him. Do you think he gives two f***s about you getting out today? Huh, answer me when I’m talking to you, Boy.” He says sarcastically after a few minutes of silents. “Boy! I’m a grown-ass man!” I said immediately with aggression as I quickly stood toe to toe with K.B. as I turned around. Feeling played with my fist balled, and my face frowned. Looking up at him, he giggles. Knowing he’s a foot taller than I am, I have no reach on him. But, knowing he was only telling me right, I let it go. “Young man, your so-called Queen and I are here for life. He and I don’t have s**t to lose. I turn and back up to take a seat on the bed. Oh, now you understand my perspective. He grunts as he grabs my shoulder and sits next to me. I’m just wanted to tell you is that this place is no place for a man young are old-” “I know what you’re going to tell me, that I supposed to let people walk all over me like I’m a pussy.” I say sarcastically, cutting him off. “No, learn to listen to your inner voice instead of resulting violence. It’s enough of motherfuckes in blue killing us for us to result in Black-on-Black crime. You know, he knew you were getting out today. Hell, you talked about getting out and getting your yellow bone girl back yesterday. Did you think that word wouldn’t get back to him? However, he went with some stupid s**t about some slippers. So, if you fight, you will have two more years to add to your sentence. But the reality is Queen doesn’t want to see you go home. K.B. sits quietly, waiting for a response. I sit staring at the floor, taking it all in. Young man, if you remember nothing I said. Remember to keep a good headspace when you get into a bad altercation in the real world.” “I gotcha K.B., man. My choices are mine, no one else blah, blah, blah. So I said as I got up and adjust my orange jumpsuit. I got it,” I say, sarcastically dapping him up. “You’re not as dumb as you look, after all.” He laughs as he grabs a book from a stack of five on the floor next to his bunk and then lays down. I pop my mouth, shove my shoulders, and walk off. Walking to my cot in the middle of the dorm, I notice Queen waiting to use the phone. Feeling played, I flip him off as he sneaks me a kiss as our eyes meet. Making it to my cot, I sit frustrated by K.B. knowing about Queen and I. Trying to take my mind off it, I shake my locs that stop at the end of my neck and pull them to the back of my head as I lie down. After lying for over thirty minutes with my eyes closed, I think of Sky’s blue eyes staring back at me. The aroma of cocoa butter on her smooth yellow skin. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up, pushing my p***s down as I got an erection. The ringing of the guard’s keys comes over the quiet dorm, indicating that it’s breakfast chow. Looking around the dorm, I notice some people put on their shoes, and others are still lying. A tall, slim, white guard opens the door and calls for chow as a much shorter white guard comes in behind him, looking in his pad as everyone gets in line at the door. I sit on my cot as the short white guard looks around, calling out my name. I quickly stand next to my cot, throwing up my hand to be acknowledged by the guard. “Grab your stuff.” The guard says. “I don’t want any of it.” “Ight, let’s go,” he says, aggressively grabbing me by the arm as I grab my court papers off the cot. As he has me by the arm, walking me to the door as everyone is in line for chow. The guard forces his way through as Queen attempts to grab me but misses. “Watch your hands, inmate,” the officer says, pointing his Pathan at Queen. Staring deep into Queen’s eyes as he gets back in line, I saw a tear fall from his eye before he wipes it. The officer snatches me by my arm, rushing his way into the hall. “Damn, you’re hurting my damn arm.” I said as I try to remove my arm. I stop complaining as I’m trying not to fall as I slip and slide in only my socks as the officer continues to use force to pull me. We make it to an empty office. He pushes me into a chair and snatches the yellow envelope with my court papers inside. “Kilo Bruce, he giggles. The f**k name is that. I sat slumped in the chair, unbothered by his joke. Have you gotten any new tattoos since you have been in here?” I smirk, “yeah.” The guard writes something on a pad and grabs a camera. Walking around the desk, he begins aggressively raising my pants legs without asking for my consent. “Good God, you have tattoos everywhere. He says with a disgusted look on his face as he raises my short sleeves and then moves my head from side to side. Okay, stand to your feet, and where are the new tattoos?” “I got all of them while I was here,” I giggle, standing to my feet. “Even the ones in your face? He asked as I stepped to the side as He leans closer to me, trying to make out my tattoos. Rude Boy, he says, giggling. You don’t look so rude to me. We must have gotten some act right out of your rude ass. Strip!” He screams in my face. He continues to look at me with this evil smirk as I drop the jumpsuit to my feet and step out of them as he holds up the camera, arms out to your side, he demanded. Not only that, but he takes the photos and tells me to turn around. Alright, have a seat. He snatches the jumpsuit off the floor, places it on the desk, and walks over to the filing cabinet. Continuing to watch him grab some papers and put them on the desk as he takes a seat. I lean over the desk to read what the documents say. Sitting in only my boxers and socks for over an hour as he flips through the papers, signing them. Shivering, the guard finally looked up from reading over the release papers and asked me in so many words, do I think I can cope with society? And if not, do I need rehabilitation or a halfway house? With a confused look upon my face, I reply, I’m good. But thinking it can’t be hard coming from a cage full of men to society with women. The officer looks up at me and asked why I was shivering. “I don’t know.” I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes as he passes me a pen. “Okay, he says, squinting his eyes and turning his head slightly to the side. Weirded out by the obvious shivering I am doing. Ahh, sign on the line. After I sign, he grabs the papers and sign after I do before stapling them together. Someone would be back with your clothes. The guard says as he gathers the papers off the desk and walks around to the door. Oh, your ride is upfront.” He says, doubling back to grab the jumpsuit. “If you don’t mind me asking, who’s in the front waiting for me?” I ask out of curiosity as he opens the door. “Aah, some Keisha.” He says, walking out. I clap my hand out of excitement, screaming yes. The guard doubles back again and says to keep down the noise. “Sorry, I’m just surprised my baby mama came through,” I started clapping my hands out of excitement again. Keisha’s my high school sweetheart and ten years out of high school, she got pregnant. Although I think her best friend Alisha told her up to have an abortion, she says she lost the child stressing over me in prison. Even though she got pregnant out of infidelity, as I was in a relationship with Sky, my soulmate, I never got the p***y from. “Whatever, keep it down.” The guard says, closing the door. Just as the door closes completely, I quickly jump to my feet and hit the Dougie dance. Throwing my hands in the air while dancing around the room in only my boxers and socks. I climb on top of the desk and dance. But as I’m on top of the desk, I notice there is a camera in the left-right corner. I climb down and fix the stuff on the desk to the way it was and took a seat in a chair and began rubbing my arms that’s full of chill bumps. After ten minutes of waiting patiently, an officer throws me a transparent plastic sack with everything I had on when I come in. “Lock this door and knock when you’re ready.” The officer says, closing the door behind her. Just as I took the jewelry out of a smaller plastic sack inside the larger one, I thought of my homeboy Toot and how flashy he was. Giggling to myself as I’m placing the jewelry in an empty spot on the desk. I turn and grab my clothes in a ball out of the larger bag and threw them into a chair. I Grab my all-red air max teenies out of the ball of clothes and place them on the floor near the chair. Noticing that my Louis Vuitton belt is still in my pants. Ignoring the fact, the shoes don’t have any shoestrings. I quickly grab the pants as they were falling from the chair. Putting on the jeans before the red t-shirt, I take a seat in the chair and frustratedly shook my locs with my hands to spread them out and lift them from being stuck to my head. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, I slip on my shoes. Grabbing the jewelry off the desk, I place it in my lap. Holding up the silver rope chain and noticing its tangled so I shoved it in my pocket. Snatching the silver Rolex out of my lap, I stand and dust my lap. Heading to the door kicking the plastic bag out of the way as I’m putting on the watch, my heart fluttered nervously. I gently tap on the door and take a step back. The same officer that came in with the clothes opens the door and asked me to sign some forms clipped to a clipboard. I instantly sign them without reading them and pass them back as she gives me a copy. She escorts me out of the room and down the hall. As we get closer to the prison exit, I see Keisha’s fat ass before seeing her full body on the outside of the double glass doors. Wondering what she was doing right outside the doorway, the officer holds the front door open. After stopping at the front desk officer gave me the rundown about my parole. I walk out as the other officer holds open the door. Watching the officer walk inside without me. I deeply inhale and exhale as my heart flutters again as I’m finally released. As the door automatically closes, I slowly turn around and admire the leafless trees that stand over the barbed wire fence. I look at Keisha as the wind of the fall’s breeze slaps me in the face. “Aham, clearing my throat and smiling as Keisha turns around on the phone to acknowledge my presence. I spread my arms for a hug, but Keisha holds up her index finger and moves only her lips to tell me to hold up while she is wrapping up the call. Feeling played that she’s not as excited as I am to see her. I pop my lips and quickly drop my arms and turn around. Throwing my arms in the air, then grabbing my locs while biting my bottom lip. I turn to Keisha and prop on my left hip feeling inpatient. “Let’s get out of here before these people come out here and lock my ass back up.” She ignores me while still on the phone, so I walk off. Getting past the prison gate to the parking lot, I notice Keisha trailing me as she’s still on the phone. I throw my hands up, aggravated because I don’t know what vehicle she drives. She passes me with her nose turned up as I stand aggravated. Trailing her through the parking lot to her car, I began admiring her ass, that sits out like a table. “Damn, girl, you getting ass shots?” I said as I grip her right butt cheek. She quickly moves my hands and looks at me with a frown while on the phone. Walking three cars down, we stop in front of a two-door black Infinity as she finishes her call. The car chirps as she presses the unlock button on the remote as I walk over to the passenger side. Keisha and I get in. She cranks and backs out of the parking lot into the street. Making it two miles up the highway, she asked me where I’m going. “Whatcha mean, I paroled out to your crib?” She glances at me with her nose turned up and looks back to the road after popping her mouth. “Look, I did that for a favor to you. I don’t even stay in that damn house anymore. She says, aggravated. Wasn’t your house in your mama’s name anyway?” she asked. “Yeah, but when my parole officer comes to see me, he’s coming to that address. I said, dramatically pissed off. It seems as if you’re trying to get me locked back up, Keisha.” “That’s not my problem, Kilo. She says while texting and driving. But my question was, where are you going because I got s**t to do.” Gazing at the side of her face, I reply, take me to Staci’s crib as I remember she has always been self-centered. An hour into the drive, I felt nervous, wondering why she didn’t seem excited about the simple fact I’m out. I also feel insecure about myself, thinking that I might appear a weirdo. As I’m contemplating, Keisha turns onto East fourth street and parallel parks with the engine still running in front of Staci’s crib. Hesitantly getting out, I ask Keisha to wait as I talk to Staci. I lean over and kiss her cheek after she says she’ll stay and smile as I get out. Knocking on Staci’s door, I hear a woman’s voice. Waiting for someone to open the door, I hear someone fumbling with the locks. With the door cracked open, Staci peeps out. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, I dramatically throw up my arms. He quickly pulls the door open further and walks out in only his red pajama pants and no shirt as he daps me up. Damn, when you got out. He says as he turns around and closes the front door. “I just got out and came straight here.” “Aight, hold up.” He says before going inside. Sitting on Staci’s stoop for over ten minutes, he finally comes out with a small black puma bag. This should hold yeah until you find a hustle." He says, throwing me the bag. I unzip the bag and notice a twenty-two millimeter, a phone, and twenty thousand in cash. I stand to my feet and thank him. Dapping him up, he says he must go in and handle his girl as he made s****l expressions. Laughing aloud as I walk back to the car as Staci goes in laughing as well. After leaving Toot’s mom’s crib, Keisha tells me to drop her off at one of her girlfriend’s cribs while I go to Toot new spot on fourth.