If I Must

"Hide!" She whispered, hurriedly lighting a cigarette as her sister approached her from the ballroom. "Elizabeth! Are you not overseeing the preparations for the ball?" "Margaret, will you ever give up that unhealthy habit? Smoking is unbecoming of a beautiful young lady such as yourself. Anyway, I'm sure Mr Townsend is more than capable of arranging the seats of our guests without my assistance. Why do you look so flushed, sister? Are you nervous?" "Elizabeth, I suppose I... I am just quite excited. I shall be less flustered during the ball, of course. Another breath of fresh garden air shall do just the trick." Margaret's face betrayed her. She felt anything but excitement for any of the events that were to follow that moment, but Elizabeth was not adept at comprehending the emotions her sister failed to verbalize. She did not notice the tremble in her voice or the hesitation in her response, and so she took her words at face value. "Indeed. Remember to wear your finest silk gown tonight, and I have already told Lily to style your hair to perfection. We shall definitely find a suitor out of the countless Princes and Lords in attendance," she said, reaching out and tenderly holding Margaret's face, "oh my darling Margie. You'll be the belle of the ball." "I certainly hope so." "Take your time getting prepared. Don't be too late, however. Fashionable and rude are separated by the finest of lines." With that, Elizabeth flounced back to the ballroom, and Margaret released a sigh. "Lily?" She called out into the relative darkness of the garden. "Is it safe to come out?" "Yes. Elizabeth has left." Leafs rustled and twigs crunch as Lily emerged from behind the hedge. "Perhaps if I style your hair in a most atrocious and outlandish manner you shall never find a suitor. Then we would be free to continue our... liason," she joked as she plucked flowers and grass out of her now-tangled hair. Margaret chuckled. "If only it were that simple. Any ambitious and greedy prince would overlook an awful hairstyle if they had the opportunity to marry the woman who is next in line to the throne. Men are silly and power-seeking creatures." "I have had encounters with many of the lords and earls, and I can agree with that sentiment. What if you do find a suitor tonight, Margaret, or at any one of the other balls your sister will likely arrange in order to secure your marriage to some royal? What happens to us then?" "We forget. We move on. Affection for another is oftentimes a hindrance and a dead-end. Those who know true power know that sacrifice is sometimes necessary in life." "Would you really give up what could be the greatest love you'll ever experience just so that you can be the influential but miserable trophy of some disgusting man who married you only to climb the royal ladder?" "If need be. I will do what I must," she said coldly, flicking her cigarette into one of the many empty planting pots lining the walk next to her, "I have to leave now. You may come up to my chambers in two hours to style my hair." Her comments were blunt and unfeeling. This she knew. All she could think about as she strolled through the chilly evening air was the very real possibility that she would end up in a horrifying farce of a marriage to a man she had no positive feelings for. Just the thought of being separated from the one she loved for the sake of narrow-minded family relatives and society's expectations was sickening. Her feelings, her opinion on the matter, nothing would change the fact that her love was forbidden. It would never be allowed, not even by her long-suffering sister who had granted her leniency on several other matters. She would never understand. - The door creaked as it did whenever someone opened it from the outside. Through the reflection in the mirror she saw that it was Lily. "What do you think of my gown?" Margaret asked, giving a little twirl to fully display it. Light bounced off the small diamonds, giving the dress a celestial aura. She looked a vision. Lily basked in the beauty of her beloved as if Margaret were a warm ray of sun beaming through storm clouds. "It is delightful. You... you shall definitely look exquisite tonight." The painful fact that she would be looking wonderful in order to find a marriage mate in someone else had not been said, but they both knew that it had certainly been meant. "I shall immediately begin with your hair, ma'am. You will need to be ready soon," Lily said as she prepared the tools necessary to do the job that had brought her to the Palace in the first place- that of Royal hairdresser. "Alright. Let me pour myself a drink." Well into the evening the princess's hair was pressed, powdered, curled and set in a most splendid fashion. A small, glittery, attaché veil lined with small diamonds covered a portion of the hair from just before her ears to the nape of her neck. It reflected light in the same ethereal way that the gown did. An expensive necklace and a delicate tiara from the Crown's collection were added to the outfit, which was completed with a light swipe of lipstick and rouge. "My goodness, Lily," she exclaimed after taking a look in the mirror, "you truly are the best at this." Just then, an attendant knocked at the door. "Miss Lily, the Queen has requested that the Princess retreat to the upstairs drawing room now." "You may direct the Queen's instructions directly to me, you know," Margeret said, "inform her that I shall be there shortly." "Of course ma'am," he said before leaving. "Lily," she said as she stalked slowly towards the young woman, trapping her by the dresser, "know that you cannot remain upset with me when I am simply doing what is required of me. It is unfortunate, but I do not control my present circumstances." Margaret looked up at her. Lily followed suit, tilting her head down. The kiss was hot, the taste of Margaret's bourbon swirling through their mouths as they moved in perfect unison. However passionate it was, there was something odd, something different about this kiss. Margaret was the one to pull away. "I must go now, Lily. We shall see each other again when it is possible. Goodnight," she said softly as she began making her way to the drawing room. As Margaret left to face her future, Lily realized why the kiss had felt so strange. It was almost surely their last kiss- a kiss goodbye.