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Darkness. A dull, misty, sombering place. That’s where I stood; at the edge of darkness. The little girl I had been chasing called after me, yelling my name, yet I could no longer see her. Her hair was long blonde, and wringed with curls. Her body was poor, narrow, and petite, yet she was the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. My throat longed for a sip of clear cool water. I yelled for her, but nothing came out. My lungs had deflated like a balloon, and I had nothing left in me. I took one step, and the leaves that had fallen from the tall lanky trees crunched underneath my feet. Cool sweat dribbled down my face, and soon fell to the hard ground. I pumped my legs faster and faster, trying to catch up to the little girl that had caught my attention from the very beginning. How did she know my name? Where did she come from? Why was she here? The dark dreamy clouds over my head rumbled, and tumbled after each other. They had many, to thousands of single water droplets inside of them ready to be spilled out over the world. It was cold. Not just a goosebump cold, but a haunting cold. One that sent little shivers down the length of your spine, or when someone stands behind you and breathes on the length of your neck causing the thin prickly hairs to stand. That's what is was: cold, and lonely. I felt all alone, but I was used to this feeling. It hits the depths of your soul causing you to feel nothing. Like you are nothing. I peak over a hill, and it opened up into a big forest filled with the tallest trees I've ever seen. Green moss hung onto the trees like the armor of a knight. I walked up and put my fingers on the moss. It felt gooey, and wet, and smelled of a horrible reek. I searched and searched for the little girl, but she was no where. Up until I turned to see the little girl behind me. She wore a pink ratty dress, and carried an old brown teddy bear. The teddy bear had lost an eye, and was about to lose an arm. Stuffing hung out of it like organs spilling from a dead body that had just been hit by a grenade. I reached out to touch her but she took off running, and giggling again. She wanted to play a game. A game I knew pretty well. I chased after her, and nearly tripped over something. I looked back to see what I tripped over but nothing was there. My head began to spin, my knees buckled beneath me almost as if someone kicked the back of my legs with all the force they had, and I sunk to the the ground. The dark soil felt spongy underneath me, and I dug my clammy hands into the rich ground. The red, brown dirt ran right into my fingernails. I opened my eyes to see I was no longer in a deep haunting forest, but I was now in a dark room. There it was again: darkness, and was tired of it. I want to see the light. I squinted my eye to try and see my surroundings. I try to get my blue eyes to adjust, but it just wasn't happening. That's when I heard something, or someone behind me. My body shook with fear, and my heart pumped faster and faster. I turned to see who, or what stood behind me, but the harder I tried the more mad I got, because my body wouldn't move. I crammed my eyes shut, and then it was over, and I woke up. The only thing that ran through my mind was the little girl with a pink ratty dress, and a bear that had be worn to a breaking point. My dog Gracie that was laying at the foot of the bed, staring at me. I looked at the clock that only read two thirty, groaned and threw myself back “I don’t know what I’m going to do...” Gracie lifted her head from where it once laid and looked at me with her big brown eyes. I stared back at the popcorn ceiling thinking about my dream, or nightmare that I just had. They're all the same, never ending, and always keeping me up in the dead of the night. I go through all the details in them. Getting into every nick and corner, trying to find something different, but it is always the same. I jolted back from my thoughts to hear someone knocking on my door. It echoed through out my room. “Come in!” I scream. Chloii walks in and I can tell she is worried and that I woke her. “Another bad dream, eh?” “Yeah same as last time. Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. ” I stare down at my feet waiting for her to respond. “Hhhh. E-“ “Everleigh. You know I hate being called E.” “Alright sassy.’ She said and rolled her eyes, “I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I don’t care If you have bad dreams, I mean I do, but it doesn’t make you who you are. I care about what is now, not what is then. We have been best friends for how long?” “10 years” I look up at her eyes and say. I’m trying to keep the tears in, and the sting in my eyes starts to really burn. I will not cry. I do not cry. ​I glance up at her. Her hair is blonde and is wrinkled with curls and she has big brown eyes that draws you right into them. Rare her mom always had said. I could still feel the buzz in my body and my heart race just like before I go into the arena. I feel as if my world is falling beneath my feet.I'm so tired of this, and then for some reason he pops in my head. I haven’t thought of him in along time, and haven’t seen him in years.. oh how I would love to se- “E! Did you hear me?” Chloii said snapping me back to the real world. “...No, I didn’t” looking back up at here. She had gotten closer to me this time, and i could feel the surge of energy that ran off of her. “ I said then it shouldn't matter I haven't left yet, then I asked if you want to come sleep with me in my bed. Gracie has to stay in here because of the cats and you know how they are, so if you want to sleep then she stays.” She said grinning. I smile or not really smile, but I do something to let her know i'm okay. Although i'm not. I don’t feel okay. I nod to tell her yes, get up, and walk to towards the kitchen in our big apartment. I step on something and hear a squeak. Oh no! Gracie comes running down the long hallway and runs me over. I fall back on my butt, and cringe because the floor is hard and cold. Gracie licks my face with her long pink tongue while Chloii falls on the floor laughing. She snorts and I start laughing with her. I start to feel the joy in my heart and start to hope that things will be okay... that I will be okay. I woke up lying next to Chloii, and rolled over to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, and ready to take on the world. Today her and her boyfriend, Tyrus, are going out. They have been together since his senior year, and her sophomore year of highschool. I'm so grateful that he came into chloiis life because they both have changed each other, and god has done so much through them. I continued to look at her...I didn't ever mean to bring her in my mess...my crazy life. “Chlo, wake up.” I said and nudged her “Mhmm” she began to slowly open her eyes and look at me. “Is everything okay?” she sat up straighter. “Yeah everything is fine. it's almost Twelve in the afternoon!! You have a date to go on cute thing.” “ OH CRAP!! SHOOT IM GONNA BE LATE.” she jumped up and and started to throw the clothes that was lying on the ground. Her room was never clean, but every once in awhile you would be able to see the floor. I got up as well and went to my room. It was just the way I left it, the way I always leave my dreams. I began to make my bed and pick up what I could. Gracie looked up from where she was at, and walked over to me. I started to pat her on the head, and thought of all the sleepless nights the summer before junior year. She has been my dog since the end of my 5th grade year and is almost 10 years old, and quite frankly I don't know what I would do without her. I took one last look and and walked to my closet. I grabbed the closest shirt to me- His - and threw it on. Along with it I threw some black nike spandex on and walked out of the room. I soon found chloii in the bathroom caking herself in make up and putting on red lipstick. I watched just like I did when I was little. I watched her with such care and trying to catch everything I could to help me forget about the bad, because chloii is my good. She pursed her lips together and made a kissing face until she saw me in the mirror and turned to look at me. “Does this look okay with my outfit?” she said making the same face she was making in the mirror. She was wearing black skinny jeans with a white top, and wore black sandals “ You look great chlo” I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into a hug. “You know you give the best hugs eh?” She hasn't said that to me since we were kids, but she wasn't the only one that used to say it. I stared at her in the face and felt the tears prickly up in my eyes. “ Aww sh*t E. I'm sorry I forgot. Please don't cry. You know how I am.” “ No it's okay chloii. I shouldn't let it me bother me.” I pulled away and walked towards the kitchen, turned on the stove and leaned against the counter “I mean come on chloii It's been almost 2 years since i've see Colton! I doubt I will ever see him again.” I looked deep into her eyes and could tell she didn't mean to say what she said. “I know E I didn't mean to bring him up, You haven't talked about him in years, and somehow I always bring him up to you, and you always brush it off like I didn't say anything.” she said to me. I could see the tears start to come up in her eyes. I love the color they turned when she did. It reminded me of autumn. Like when the leaves change colors and fall from the only thing they can hang on too. The feeling of jumping in them after you rake them up. That's the feeling I get when I look in her eyes: Happiness. “Chlo it's not that I don't want to talk about him every now and then, but it hurts so bad when I do. He is somewhere out in this world. Probably on the other side since he left for Europe.” I looked down at my feet and felt my heart sink lower... and lower...and lower. “You love him still don't you...?” she said fast. “Yes chloii, ever since I laid eyes on him. Since my freshman year.” tears were slowly going down my cheek. “And I never got the chance to tell him goodbye after my grandma's funeral. Because I continued to hold on to hello.” “E if God wants to bring you back together then he will, you have been waiting for two years. You’ve went on two dates since then and only talked to a couple guys but you shut them down. Every single one.! It's time for you to grow up. He isn't coming back. He doesn't care.” she spat at me.I knew how she felt about the whole situation, and honestly I felt the same way. I turned around and kept my back to her. I let the words sink down into my open wounds. It hurt and she knows that. “Look Everleigh its time-” “Chloii STOP! You don't get it. You never will because you have tyrus. You will never have the feeling that I have. That I live with everyday” My tears came harder, and my head was pounding, lungs begging for air, and chloe's eyes hard on me, “ I'm tired of waiting yes, but i'll wait a million years for him to come back... That's what love is.” “You know what fine. Live your life in sorrow and a fantasy that will Never. Ever. happen.” and with that she turned on her heal, grabbed her bag, and left the apartment.