Nefarious

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Sleep

Kapag binato ka ng bato ay batuhin mo ng tinapay.

That was mainly one of the phrases along with what we needed to memorize back in the orphanage. It was by far the one that was practically dented in my forehead due to the numerous recitations about such poetic invocations and lessons that should stick, and it did stick. Perhaps the most known doctrine of all time or the first one created to oppose the much more violent version of it: an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

Or was it something like: do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you?

Either way, I didn't know in my life, in my dying life, that I would be given the chance to literally practice what I (not willingly) preach.

"Tinapay po! Libreng tinapay po!" anunsyo ko sa mga dumadaan.

Kung hindi ako sinisinghalan ay iniirapan. Pero sa mahigit isang oras kong pagtayo sa lilim ng eskinitang ito ay nalaman kong kung sino pa ang mga sumisinghal at umiirap ay siyang mga patagong kumukuha kapag wala ng mga nakatingin. Hindi na lang ako nagsasalita kahit naiisip ang sinasabi ni Konstantine na ang tao ang unang mga nilalang sa mundo na mga ipokrito at ipokrita.

Weeks after my disastrous birthday party, a major issue rose to my concern as much as it surely did to Mayor Benjamin. Famine was slowly attacking the town from the inside out. I was not the one to rejoice at my enemy's untimely downfall but I knew how to be human. Not only did the famine brought out families outside their homes and into the fields to work, but it also brought the worst of the worst out of the people that lived in this town.

The famine acted as a catalyst for the people to show their nature – greed and lust.

Greed for food and safety that they were forgetting their morals. Lust for power amidst the crisis that they were already eating themselves.

I was a child of the orphanage and even if I wasn't, I knew both would send them straight to hell.

"Tinapay po! Libre lang!" Patuloy ako sa pag-aalok.

Nasa labas ng bahay ang halos lahat ng tao, naghahanap ng pagkakakitaan para may mailapag sa pinggan mamayang gabi. Kung sa isang normal na araw ay bulong at pasaring lang ang mga insultong dumidiretso sa akin pero sa pagkakataong ito ay mas lumala pa.

"Lumayas ka rito! Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit tag-gutom! Mangkukulam!"

"Hindi ba sinabi mo ay papatayin mo kaming lahat?! Walang hiya ka talaga!"

"Malas! Malas!"

I knew for a fact that explaining to them that my birthday party was just a plain, innocent birthday party would only add to the fire that was slowly corrupting their superstitious minds. So, I stayed quiet instead and waited for the ones to come that were truly in need.

"Mangkukulam, masarap iyan?" tanong ng lumapit na si Benny.

"Syempre naman! Hindi naman ako nagluluto ng hindi masarap. Ang sarap nga ng luto ko noong birthday ko, 'di ba?" Ngumisi ako.

The little fat boy was knitting his eyebrows together. He looked at my loaves of bread, his nose wriggling. His orange striped shirt slightly bunched up and revealed an outie belly button.

"Kumuha ka na! Hiya ka pa e!" sigaw ko rito.

Napaigtad ang batang lalaki sabay tingin sa paligid bago kumukuha ng dalawa. Kumaripas ito ng takbo palayo. Saktong iniisip kong nahuli siya ng kaniyang ama sa pagpunta sa aking kaarawan noong nakaraan nang makita ko nga itong lumabas mula sa isang kanto.

Benjamin Salazar had an entourage of clergymen that were holding either a crucifix or a whip. I was about to question myself why the latter but a peasant charging his way and demanding food was the answer. The thick rope cracked in the humid air as a warning, sending the peasant away.

You really could do both Christianity and violence these days, huh? What's next? Finding out Leonardo Da Vinci's famous Mona Lisa was a man?

"Magandang araw, Celeste," bati ng alkalde.

Tumango ako.

Sinipat ni Mayor Ben ang dalawang kahon sa sahig na naglalaman ng mga pan de unan. Sumisingkit ang mga mata nitong may mga kulubot sa gilid. Umarko pababa ang mga labi nitong tuyot at nangingitim dahil sa paninigarilyo. Isang singhal ang kaniyang pinakawalan bago ngumisi sa akin.

"Maligayang bati sa iyong kaarawan noong isang linggo."

"Salamat po, Mayor Ben." Dumiin ang titig ko sa kaniyang namamayat na mukha.

"Alam mo ba ang ginagawa mo, hija?" Sinipat niyang muli ang mga tinapay.

Tumagilid ang ulo ko. "Nagpapamigay ng mga tinapay para sa mga walang makain."

"At saan naman galing ang pinambili mo?"

We exchanged a heated staring down contest. Aside from the people's cry of hunger lingering in the air, it was thick from something as corrupt and serpentine as the mayor. He might have had all these priest and priestess but he might as well be the most faithless one yet in his own town.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Ilang araw bago ko napagpasyahan ang proyektong ito ay kinonsulta ko si Konstantine. Malaya niya akong hinayaan sa loob ng kaniyang enggrandeng kusina kung saan ko kinuha ang mga pagkain.

"Tumigil ka na sa mga ginagawa mo bago pa lumala ang lahat. Isipin mo na lang ang kapakanan ng mga tao kung ipagpapatuloy mong dalawin ang mga engkanto. Ang demonyo ay demonyo. Naglalakad kasama nating mga tao at kailangang puksain." Dumilim ang kaniyang mukha.

Bago pa man tuluyang sumabog ang nagbabadyang bulungan ng taumbayan ay ngumiti ito na para bang pinag-uusapan lang namin ang klima.

Yumuko ng bahagya ang alkade atsaka tumango. "Maiwan na kita, Celeste."

By the time I made it back home, it was already sundown. I brought home two empty boxes like how I envisioned it to be, and I would gladly be back tomorrow to distribute more goods. I could only rest my mind for a bit before it started pestering me to go out. My nightly visits continued again after my birthday or after Konstantine particularly gave me the gift that I was wearing now as I stepped inside the forest. There was something about the biting cold and howling wolves that made me want these nightly adventures. Like it was calling me, begging to grace its rotting soil.

The night wasn't as dangerous as I thought it was. Sometimes I would go out just to look at it if my mind was troubling me. Perhaps it had eyes and ears that sees and listens because of the comfort it brings. Perhaps even more so than a single human could.

The castle was silent tonight. I was right when I assumed that Konstantine was in the great library again, engaging over some books and a quill pen hovering on a journal. There were knots marring his forehead that made his dark brows knit together. His midnight cape flowed on the ground even as he sat, his back slightly arching as he was heavily immersed on what he's doing.

Crossing my arms, I leaned on one of the bookshelves while looking at him. It was the nights like these that he was so busy reading and writing that he forgets time or even notice his surroundings. Konstantine was by far the most intelligent man I knew, writing his own journals of his travels and experiences, making plans or layouts of structures that he did himself from scratch. As I looked at him now, I doubted he didn't hear me entering because no matter how busy he was, his pointy ears would catch movements and his aristocratic nose would slightly wriggle. Like what he was doing right now.

"It is very rude to stare, my lady," his deep voice came.

Tinanggal ko ang pagkakahalukipkip nang umayos ng tayo. Lumakad ako papalapit dito. Katulad ng lagi niyang ginagawa kapag lumalapit na ako ay isinarado niya ang mga libro at ang boteng pinaglalayan ng itim na tinta.

"Good evening, Konstantine..." ngiti ko.

Kahit pa nakaupo ay halos lebel lang ang aming tingin. Humalukipkip ulit ako at nanatiling nakatayo sa kaniyang harapan, sinasandal ang bewang sa lamesa para lang panatilihing nag-aabot ang aming mga mata.

"How did your little charity program go? Did you happen to go home safely or do I have to kill someone?"

Napanguso ako. "That's not funny. Stop saying things like that."

"You and I both know that I am no liar nor a great pretender."

"Alam ko..." marahan kong sabi.

Sumandal lamang si Konstantine sa kaniyang upuan, pinapadausdos ang mga mata mula sa aking mga pisngi pababa sa panga at patungong leeg. Huminto ang kaniyang tingin sa aking dibdib kung saan nakapatong ang pendant ng bigay niyang kwintas.

He hummed in approval, his eyes narrowing into tiny slits.

Konstantine and I shared a brief moment of silence. I was standing up so at least he would crane his head to meet my eyes. He was sitting down but it still wasn't enough. He still led us both and controlled the pace as we bathed in the moment of silence.

He lightly tapped his thigh, the strained muscle cladded in black trousers. His silver belt glinted in the dark, displaying the playful crackling of the torches hanging on the wall. Binasa ko ang mga labi. Hindi ako umatras nang dahan-dahang lumapit ang kaniyang isang kamay at dumapo sa aking bewang. Walang kahirap-hirap nitong hinila ang aking katawan patungo sa ibabaw ng kaniyang hita.

"You make them all less loud, less exhausting. You make everything tolerable, Celeste..." He sighed on my neck.

"Them?" I gently curled my fingers on his nape, carefully threading my hands through his dark locks. It felt so soft under my fingertips.

"The humans," he sighed again.

Dahan-dahan kong sinuklay ang kaniyang hanggang balikat na buhok. Hindi na ako muling nagsalita pa pero parang nagustuhan niya ang aking desisyon dahil ganoon din ang kaniyang ginagawa. Ang pananahimik at pagsuko. Nakadukdok at hinang-hina na nasiksik sa aking leeg ay pinabayaan niya akong paglaruan at suklayin ang kaniyang buhok.

It didn't take long before his breathing pattern turned regular. His shoulders relaxed and his back leaned back on the chair. I continued playing with his hair until I too felt sleepy. I didn't notice it yet but I would be able to the next morning when I wake up that it was the first time that I ever saw him sleep. Perhaps the first time after a long while.