The Cold-blooded Writer

I have always tried to win. While he doesn't even want to deal with me at all. I always have something to prove to anyone in the world when he wants to abandon the world. He is such an impeccable person, but I don't even stand a chance of being on his level. What could I have been? Right. Meeting him was such a huge mistake on my part. I wonder what could've happened if I hadn't done everything to find him. Few months ago... "Another book by Al Donny won the Nobel Prize Award this year. The book's title captured the readers' curiosity--" Napalingon ako sa TV nang bigla 'tong tumahimik. "Al Donny na naman. That coward! Lagi nalang nananalo ng Nobel Prize, pero di naman sumisipot sa awarding!" Pinagmasdan ko siyang inis na inihagis ang remote sa sofa at nagmamaktul na umakyat sa hagdan. I sighed in annoyance. Our company has been losing its face dahil sa Al Donny na 'yan. "I just really don't understand. Sinong tao ang ayaw sa recognition?" Dagdag ng isa pang staff sa gilid. I combed my hair in frustration. It's understandable. I would really understand why my staff are feeling this way. We were always sincere in giving our appreciation to him for representing our country's literature. And yet, ganito lang ang matatanggap namin in return. If I could really just disregard this order to acknowledge his work, ginawa ko na. Because I seriously don't see the sense on keeping on doing this. As soon as I entered my office, agad kong napansin si Dad na nakaupo ngayon sa visitor's couch dito sa office ko. Just like those other years... I'd be scolded na naman. "Your announcements are never enough to make him come out." I stopped. "Until when are you letting your company face this shameful time of the year? Kada taon nalang!" I coldly looked at him. "Kasalanan ko parin." I told him, this would be the very first time na may maririnig siya sakin. I'd regret this later, alam ko. "We've always worked harder for this every year. You've witnessed how we've come this far. And then just because of this writer, lahat ng achievements ko sa lahat ng taon, will all go as if they're all useless. I don't think kasalanan pa rin namin kung bakit ayaw niyang lumabas at magpakita. Masyado nang maraming taong nag iisip ng ganon laban sakin Dad. Baka naman gusto mo rin maging tatay sakin." Mahabang sabi ko at nagtuloy na sa pag punta sa mesa ko. Hindi man lang siya nagulat, he still looked like he didn't care. "Don't get too emotional, Storm. Fix this. Mag labas kayo ng kahit na anong makakaagaw sa atensyon ng mga reporter tungkol sa company. Give the media a scoop that is more interesting. So no one has to keep on bringing up this stupid award." He said again and left. I clenched my fist. Ano pa nga ba? May bago pa ba? We've always been doing this for the past few years. We'd always get off the hook, but the trauma that my team is facing inside... it never goes away. Why? Why the heck does this writer keep on messing up our career? Why do we always have to keep on doing this? I'll make sure that this will be the last time that we'll ever have to face this. I'll find that freak. And I'll make sure that he gets all this humiliation that he has caused our company for years. I'll make sure this happens. Nakakatawa parin. Habang inaalala ko kung gaano ako katapang dati na hanapin siya, nakakainis na ganon din ako kaduwag na harapin siya ngayon. All the cursing and all the promises that I made to myself angrily because of him. If I were to face my own self from that day, gusto ko pagtawanan ang sarili ko ngayon at kwestyunin. Going up to someone who is more intelligent and wise than I am without a plan, is such a dangerous thing to do. Well... sino bang pinagloloko ko? Even if I happen to have my plan against him ready at that time, hindi ko parin siya kakayanin. The weight of his presence, his principle and his cold as ice attitude... even if I changed how we met, I wouldn't be able to stand up against him. Kung may isang magkaparehong bagay man samin dalawa, that is... He's a total wreck. And so am I.