Healing part of love

Hi my name is Ryu this whole life that I been through was rough I lost some1 that is very important to me and I made a wrong decision to a wrong woman I have a baby with her name is Regina she was really controllable and force me do it with her I was fear about her we end up having a kid together she the one that started now I'm f**k up in my life and I made a wrong decision to marry her I wasn happy and I wasn myself I become miserable my soul was damage by the woman that I end up choosing her not Sakura I really love this person with all my heart and I end up running away from her I was to come toward her to the 3rd floor but I was to chicken out and now she doesn want me anymore she has move on. I was crying my eyes out so hard that I couldn't move on she has broke my heart because what I have done that I betray her and I want to fix it but she don't want to go back with me I started feel miserable and lost my twin flame she was the one that I want to have future with and have a family with her but I lost her completely and she the one will make my life happy but I couldn have her she won't allow it so I been feeling sad I keep crying not myself lately I stop meditating because I was trap in fear and now I still want her back but she won't let me in so started do what ever I don't care anymore now I'm not balance with her she so powerful and strong and brave I been spying her from a distance to see what she upto now I hear her say you need to leave this neighborhood want you to go somewhere safe and at peace don't worry about me but I didn't listen I just stay put but when I think about it I should leave this neighborhood but how about her deep inside I still care for her I want to help her but I'm to weak then I hear her again she say You are an old soul your best friend is nature used your intuition to take you where you want to go awaken to the powerful force within you. You are meant to create blessing With your magic. It had awaken me I need to feel my powerful force that will get me stronger and get out of fear I went toward to my goal and choos what way to go. So I started go outside look for a river to meditate and listen to my nature what they telling me I follow what Sakura told me to do. So there I drive to the river to go and now I found the river and meditate.