The Darkness in Love

Some kids start off as innocent and ambitious, some start off in a city larger than their young minds can handle. In the streets of Las Vegas it is easy to lose sight of a bigger picture when you were never taught to see one. Love's father always told her, "You live by the gun, you die by the gun." in other words "The people you surround yourself with, is who you will become." Love took a high interest in sports, unlike the group of friends she grew up with. It was a tight group of friends that all went to school together since the age of seven. There were times Love would be at practice for either soccer or softball, while watching her friends travel around the neighborhood together in a large pack getting ready to spend an all-nighter partying again. It was typical that on weekends they would not go home, but sleep in a field or park after a long night of fun and drinking. Love had moments of distance from this type of lifestyle, she was focused on succeeding, but had moments of being left out on a few memories with them. There were a couple occasions she would have a night out, but she would be starting college in a couple of years and wanted to be prepared for a bigger picture. A couple of weeks before her junior year, her parents gave her the news of a move to another neighborhood, which meant another school. The news of hearing she would be leaving the only friends she has known seemed overwhelming for her to even imagine. "This will be a better neighborhood for you, and you can make friends anywhere you go." Love's mother mentioned. Love stayed quiet, she had no interest in meeting new friends or moving 30 minutes away from everything she knew. The move happened, and to make Love feel more comfortable, her mother invited four childhood friends Ali, Trisha, Jessie, and DD to help unpack and stay the evening in the new space, a small gesture to make Love a little more comfortable. The weeks passed, and it was the first day of school. It was so different from where she grew up, everyone dressed like “punk rock skaters”, some with spiky belts and wristbands, some with their hair spiked up so high they needed a large amount of product to make it look that way. She felt like she was the one out of place for not having crazy hair, eyeliner that covered her eyes, black lipstick and nail polish. Everyone that passed stared, as if they could tell she was new. The first day was quiet for her, lunch was spent alone, and most of her teachers didn't seem to pay any mind as to what anyone in the classroom were doing. After school, Love rushed over to the gym to visit the athletic director to inquire about softball and soccer teams. She was unfortunately told the high school only had a budget for cheerleading, basketball, and football. "There is NO way my mother would send me to a school with no sports team!?" she thought to herself. Beyond disappointment, Love began to walk home. It was quite a long walk for her in such a new area. Her old neighborhood had something to do or look at on every block. This new area of town had a more modern feel, very long streets of cookie-cutter homes and tall walls to block them out. The walk home from school was about 2 miles length of these blank sidewalks and streets. It was a boring landscape with absolutely no shade trees on site. During her walk, a man in a big white truck slowed down upon seeing her walking alone. He hit the brakes and pulled to the side of the road about 10 feet in front of her. She stopped for a moment to hesitate, then began to proceed forward. Typically, if this type of encounter occurred, her friend group had each other to rely on, leaving them less vulnerable. As she came closer to the car she could see it was an averaged sized man. Possibly in his 30's, and a backwards baseball cap on. "Need a ride?" he asked her. He was not intimidating to Love, it took a lot to do so. The fact that she was alone made her politely decline the offered ride, and keep walking. When her mother got home from work, she sadly explained the "teams" situation, to which her mother nearly dismissed. She went to her room a little upset and made a call to her childhood friend, Ali, in hopes to vent about the idea of moving just to be disappointed. "Love, your sports lifestyle is so boring! We're all getting ready to go to a kick back. There will be a keg, beer bong, and a 3ft bong! Get your ass on the bus and get down here!" Ali demanded from Love. She was familiar with the bussing system and knowing the ride would be about 45 minutes each way. "That is far and we have school tomorrow, how would I get home?" Love asked. "Dont worry about it, we can figure it out later. Your parents moved you so far away from us, what did they think would happen?" Ali proceeded to convince Love that school can wait, but tonight was a night to celebrate. Love agreed to come while quietly getting ready then sneaking out of the front door to walk to her bus stop. The streets were dark and quiet. The city bus runs 24 hours and shows every half hour, the ride was just as quiet. Knowing it would be 45 minutes to get back home, she went in with an open mind that she may not make it back home that evening. Pulling up to her old neighborhood, Love excitedly hops out of the bus where Ali and 5 other childhood girlfriends are waiting for her arrival. When approaching the group she noticed Trisha, Jessie, DD, Ali, Ashley and Sienna, all knowing each other for years. The girls walk down the street laughing and being wild when a black Tahoe pulls up beside them. Not knowing this man's identity, he rolls down the window and greets the young ladies. "Need a ride girls?' the stranger asked. He appeared to be in his 50's, salt and pepper look, with a nice sense of style, and a large gaudy watch on. They all piled into the strangers car with zero fear or doubt. The man instantly asked if any of them wanted to do a line of cocaine. Ali and Love were sharing the front seat and were first ones to say "yes", snorting it up without hesitation, handing the straw over to Love next. Love was not ready to try this for the first time, but she listened to the pressure, took the straw and put a fat line away, feeling a rush instantly. Passing the straw back to the other girls, they each took a line of their own. People at the party were piled inside and out. With a keg full of beer outside the front door, girls being held up to do keg stands, a house full of smoke and blaring music, cussing and laughing at every corner of the home. Unsure whose home this even belonged to, the girls thanked the older man for dropping them off, hopped out of the car, and instantly snagged a cup of beer to walk inside with. Love saw quite a few people she knew and grew up with, and a lot more she did not recognize. All of the men attending appeared to be 18-30 years of age. Noticing one was her older brother and all of his friends. They were tucked away at the house's dining room table passing around a series of joints like clock work. Love's older brother had already dropped out of school two years prior to Love switching schools, he was about 3 years older than her. It was pretty rare she ever saw him at home, and when Love was playing sports he was nowhere to be found with the family. He seemed to believe that Love was the favorite of their father. He was a star athlete in his home town and passed those expectations down to her brother and her. Her brother had no interest in sports, he enjoyed video games, smoking weed, and occasionally a heavier drug here and there. When he noticed Love walking into the party he instantly got up to scold her. "What are you doing here, Love? Does mom and dad know you snuck out on a school night?" he said in a disappointing voice. Before she was able to respond, Ali and another boy her brother's age answered in defense. The boy wrapping his arm around her replied, "She's grown enough to make that decision on her own, man." "Plus, you're here, what is the difference?" Ali added, pulling Love away to a different part of the house. "Dude, she's only 16, and shouldn't be here, you're all only 16 years old hanging out with grown men!?" her brother mentioned to the room. "Who cares, man back off of her!" Ali yelled across the room. Her brother rolled his eyes and went back to his corner. Love stuck by her friends, going outside to do a keg stand as a group. Each one of them being lifted by a group of adult men. Just then a guy that grew up in Love’s neighborhood approached her. With the cocaine and alcohol shading her best judgement, the boy leaned in to kiss her and offered her more alcohol, she drank it and kissed him back. Trisha was not too far away getting felt up by one of the neighborhood boys they all grew up with. She saw Love was a little out of realm, and asked if she would join her in the ladies room. Walking in together Trisha asked if Love was still a virgin. Love responded with, "Of course I am, are you not?" "No, we all made a pact to lose it. Around the time you moved, actually." Trisha said. The conversation made Love a little uneasy but that feeling of missing out popped up in her mind again. "You need to hop on it girl, these men aren't going to want little girls around, and we're women now, time to act like it." Trisha added. Love got big eyed with nerves. "Holy f**k, I am not ready for that." she thought. Taking a deep breath, washing her hands, and going back out to the party a little dizzy minded from the alcohol and drugs. As she walked out another joint was going around the group, making its way to Love, taking a few puffs and passing it, her dizzy mind grew more intense. The same guy from before approached her once again and asked her to join him in the room for a moment. She submitted and followed him, sitting down on the unfamiliar bed, and him closing the door behind them. It was dark, but light enough to still see each other. He began to grab her, lying her down. Forcefully taking exactly what he wanted from her, without questioning consent. Love was nervous but knew she had to physically consent, even though mentally, she knew she was not ready. Falling asleep to a black cloud around her head, she woke up to sunlight alone in the bed, a little sore, and a little dizzy from the evening before. She peeled herself out of bed to see everyone sprawled all over the home, some asleep, some still indulging. The girls all made their way home, telling Ali and Trisha what happened, she felt like an entirely different person.