The Undecided Love

"GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS"

Because I wasn't attending university, I was lost on track of whenever the guys had holidays. And some may ask, why am I not at university? Well, it's a long story.

I had big dreams; to study Accounting, make my parents proud, pass with flying colors and live well. Unfortunately, life has a way of f*****g you up. It's like you're in a restaurant and there are waiters serving you food you don't like.

I remember it well as it was still yesterday.

"Mama, where are you and papa? It's been 30 minutes already." I paced in front of the school hall, picking at the sequins on my dress while other students were in the hall waiting for the valedictory service to begin.

"We're coming. Your dad has to stop by the office first to grab a file." My mother's soothing voice answered and I sighed, "We'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Hurry up. I don't like the idea of being the only student here without her parents around."

"Don't worry. We'll just grab the file and hurry there."

I smiled and hung up, entered the hall and sat with my friends. Guess they'll find their way into the building themselves since the ceremony started and no one was to move about while the principal gave a very boring speech.

An hour and thirty minutes later, the graduating class were congratulated and we exited the hall to party and bid our goodbyes to those we might not see again.

Except for me.

I didn't have time to see my friends as I was busy looking for my parents. Fishing out my phone from my bag, I dialed my mother's phone but she wasn't picking up so I ended up waiting.

After all, they assured me they were going to be there. It wasn't something to worry about.

Seeing other students with their family and friends made me damn envious. I was furious.

When it got late and I still didn't see any sign of them, I took a taxi home since I didn't have a ride as Junior and Andrew were nowhere to be found either.

The house was silent, even my grandma wasn't home, which was confusing. I couldn't even call her because I didn't have her number.

Laying on my bed, angry tears were flowing and thoughts were going through my mind. Why didn't they come? Why didn't they call?

If they're going to barge in yelling 'surprise' with gifts and congratulating me on being a high school graduate, I wouldn't find it funny. While waiting anxiously, I didn't know when I fell asleep.

The next morning, I awoke to my grandmother shaking me, whispering for me to listen to her. She looked sad and I sat up immediately to ask what was wrong.

"Deola, it's my son and your mother. They...they..." And she broke down.

My heart stopped and I swallowed hard. I felt like she was about to drop a bomb on me, but I wasn't ready for the explosion.

"They're what?" I didn't want to believe what came out of her mouth next. All I knew was my life was over. All I knew was that I was left alone.

"They're dead."

I had cried that day till I couldn't shed tears anymore. I refused to eat or leave the house. My grandma was also silent and the bright atmosphere which usually hung around disappeared.

When it was time to bury them, I made a promise. I'll try to be happy, take care of grandma and myself. I was going to distract myself with school work and make my parents proud.

Unfortunately, before I could apply to a university, grandma became sick and drugs were needed. I pushed my education aside because there wasn't going to be money to pay for school fees.

We weren't rich and my parents' savings were used up thanks to the burial rites, so I took up a part-time job and started saving up, but I still had to pay for various bills.

See, food that one doesn't like.

Now 2 years have gone by and I'm surviving, but there are days where I think about how things would have been different if they hadn't stopped by the office.

It was just an unfortunate event of being somewhere at the wrong time.

The guys have been a blessing to me, they understood my situation and have been there for me. Their parents treat me like I'm their own daughter, even though it won't ever feel like my parents' love.

"Yo! Dee, are you alright?" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Grey, Andrew and Junior gazing at me with worried eyes.

We were on my bed with a lot of junk food surrounding us. I must have zoned out. Sometimes I'm jealous of them. I want to experience college too. I want to pursue my dreams too.

"Sorry, I'm tired. You know I have a shift tomorrow." I stretched while faking a yawn, hoping they would believe me. It's not time for a sappy moment.

"How's work? Is your boss still a d**k?" Junior threw a can of Pringles at me, which I caught thankfully.

"Yeah. He even made me wash the man's toilet. Sometimes I feel like dunking his head down that toilet, boss or not."

We laughed and they started talking about how I needed to keep my anger in check or it would get me fired.

"But really Dee, are you sure you don't want any help with the money?" Andrew said quietly, like he knew the answer already.

"I know your parents are rich and all, but I'm okay on my own." I sighed and they knew not to touch the topic anymore. I just didn't want to be anyone's pity and this isn't the first time we've talked about it.

I can do it on my own. I've come so far this way, things are going to be better eventually.

Even without the financial support, I made it this far with their emotional support. God knows I would have killed myself a long time ago to end it all, but I also needed to be strong for grandma.

We lay in silence while Coldplay blasted from my speakers and a knock was heard on my door.

"Deola, are you ready to eat?" My grandmother entered my room and the guys greeted her. "I made spaghetti."

"Grandma, I told you not to stress yourself."

"I just want to do something. You're still a child and I-"

"But we have to look after your health and that's important. Leave the chores to me." I cut her off. I was tired of having this conversation with her every day.

I understand where she's coming from though. With my multiple shifts throughout the week, I barely have time to actually help out. The only day I'm free is Sundays and, most times, Saturdays.

"Grandma, why don't you go rest in your room? I'll finish up in the kitchen." I stood up from my bed and helped her to her room. I glanced back and the guys nodded, giving me assurance they were going to stay back and help.

I laid my grandma on her bed and sat beside her. She was looking so weak and I couldn't help but let a tear wander down my cheek. She saw it before I wiped it away and gripped my hands.

"Adeola, you know me dying is inevitable, right?" She was right and I couldn't fight that. I only nodded and she smiled.

"I know it but can't I just believe it? Can't God do me this favor?"

"God works in mysterious ways. You've been strong and you're still going to be." She whispered. "Go and eat, I want to sleep."

Even with her condition, she still cares about my feeding. Memories of her always over feeding me any chance she got made me chuckle. My father once said she treated me like her own child more than she ever did to him.

I waited for her to fall asleep and left the room. I walked into the kitchen when, suddenly, water was thrown directly at my body. The silence that followed could make me believe no one was in there.

"What the f**k? I thought you guys were helping, not making a mess." I yelled and grabbed a table knife that was right beside me.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up, don't do anything stupid." Junior raised his hands in surrender and walked slowly towards me. I didn't have any bad intentions with the knife, but I felt it was a good time to play with the fears they're harboring.

"Come closer and you're going to greet Jesus for me." He gulped and moved to hide behind Grey while Andrew sought refuge behind a tray he was holding up.

I laughed and opened the refrigerator to grab an apple and lifted myself onto the kitchen counter. "You should see the look on your faces. I still need you guys, I'm not killing you anytime soon."

Grey snorted, "But you were about to kick my balls earlier."

"Would that kill you?"

"It's worse than death, my dear. How do you expect me to live when I can't function without my junior?"

"I agree with him on this. Our d***s are everything." Andrew felt his member and I gave him a face of dis-satisfaction.

Looking around the kitchen, I realized it was all tidied up and the plates were put back in place. They really did a good job despite the fact that they were lazy people.

"Are you guys staying over?"

"Well, we would love to, but Andrew and I have to be somewhere early tomorrow," Junior said, and I nodded my head in understanding. Who was I to complain? They've done so much for me already.

"Well, I'm staying. I don't think you should be alone tonight."

"s**t. You guys should make sure not to kill each other," Andrew said. "Especially you Dee."

On a normal day, I would have disagreed and sent Grey home, but I also realized I didn't want to be alone, even though it's him I'm ending up with. Unfortunately,

"I don't have the strength for that tonight. I'll save it for tomorrow." I smiled sweetly and Grey narrowed his eyes at me.

I saw the guys off to the door and we did a group hug. Their embrace was so warm, even as uncomfortable as it was, and the only thing that could ruin it was Junior's fart.

I'm serious. He farted.

After pulling away and throwing insults and kicks, I bade them good night and walked back in after making sure to lock up.

Grey was helping himself to a plate of what my grandma had made and I headed to my room to change into my sleeping clothes; a big shirt and boxers. After getting comfy on my bed, Grey barged in.

"What if I was naked? Couldn't you knock at least?" I hissed and threw a novel at his head in panic, which he dodged easily. He only pulled his shirt and climbed my bed with a smirk playing on his lips.

"It would have definitely been better."