The Undecided Love

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SHY"

RECAP :

"What if I was naked? Couldn't you knock at least?" I hissed and threw a novel at his head which he dodged easily. He only pulled his shirt and climbed my bed with a smirk playing on his lips.

"It would have been better."

The first thing that came to my mind was to run out of the room into my parents'.

I wasn't going to barge into my grandma's room. She needed her rest and I wasn't going to ruin with boy drama.

Sleeping in my parents' room wasn't going to be comfortable either but it's better than the situation I was about to be in with him.

On sensing my decision because my eyes kept darting to the door and back to his face, he pinned me down to the bed and leaned close.

"Where do you think you're going?" He breathed down my neck, "It's been long we've been like this, alone. Don't tell me you don't want this."

I couldn't say anything, what could I say? I'm sure if I opened my mouth, I would say things that my body wants so I only gulped. I hated the fact my skin was tingly with just his touch.

I prayed for my grandmother to come in or a phone to ring, anything that would distract him for me to escape.

But I wouldn't mind having those lips on me, not at all. Yes, I was avoiding him but it only made me want it more. I mean, come on, guy's a good kisser.

Was it possible to be addicted to someone's lips? Did I need to see a doctor?

God, bad Deola. Stop it. Don't even dare...

While my thoughts were still running wild, I felt his soft lips on mine and the speed of my heart quadrupled. I responded immediately and tilted my head to deepen the kiss and he groaned.

Yup. I'm definitely addicted.

His lips left mine and he started leaving hot kisses down my neck while I arched my back because I wanted to feel his body on mine.

I felt his hands roam, first to my butt then under my shirt to grab my breasts, fondling my buds and squeezing them. I liked it, I wouldn't lie and I couldn't help but let out a moan which made him smile, feeling great that he made me like this.

He proceeded to lift my shirt but I grabbed his arms to stop him while wildly shaking my head. I was grateful the only light illuminating was the moon.

Believe it or not, guys haven't reached this stage with me. Sure I've had two boyfriends that lasted five months max but we've only gone as far as kissing.

"You don't have to be shy baby girl." His voice was different, deep and filled with lust. He held my face in his palms, traced my lips with his thumb and kissed me with utmost hunger, and I soon forgot the earlier situation.

I felt wanted.

He succeeded in removing my shirt and attacked my breasts with his mouth, taking my n*****s and sucking them like his life depended on it while his other hand played with the other breast.

When I couldn't take it anymore, he pulled away and fondled over the elastic of my boxer shorts, sliding them down my legs and threw them over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I gasped when I saw him pull out a condom from his back pocket.

"What?" He reached for his zipper, "You want it raw?"

"We're having s*x?"

"We're not?"

I laughed dryly and sat upright to reach for my shirt, pulling it over my head. "Why would you think I want to sleep with you?"

Then it was like I got slapped in the face, like someone doused me with cold water. Of course, that's what he always wanted, and here I was thinking that he actually liked me.

Oh my God. What have I done? With what we did...

"Is that what you only see me as?" My voice cracked. The look on his face made me want to kill myself.

"Dee-"He started, when I cut him off.

"I understand Grey. I'm sorry for disappointing you."

I walked around him and opened the door, "Don't come after me." And with that, I ran to my parents' room, making sure to lock the door because I know how he is. He would surely come after me and I just needed to be alone.

The room was the same, except cobwebs were collecting in corners and there were dust on surfaces. I hadn't even changed or removed the sheets. Being here brought back painful memories and I felt a tear escape the corner of my eye.

I walked towards the bed and sat on the edge, there were a lot of things going through my mind.

"Is that only what he sees me as? God, I'm so stupid."

I didn't know when I started sobbing but I couldn't stop. My parents must be so disappointed in me if they're watching from above. My grandmother is a room away and I'm...

I've really lived up to the title of being a slut.

GREY'S POV

Immediately she left the room, I realized what a big fool I've been. I know she's sensitive about those things but my desire got the best of me.

I angrily punched the wall and ran my hands through my hair. She would totally avoid me now. I'm not a fool to not see that she only sees me as a f**k boy.

Who ever wants to be in a relationship with one?

Should I go after her? Try to explain?

Who am I kidding? Knowing Dee, she would have locked the door to avoid another moment. For her to run into the one room she's been avoiding is what is making me more worried.

Do I like her? f**k yeah. I don't know what it is about her that makes me crazy. She can't be compared to my flings but her aura is what makes her more attractive.

And that smile, f**k yes. Especially the toothy grin which shows her dimples.

"Maybe it's because you've not f****d her," My mind shot back. "When you f**k her, she becomes just another girl. She's a challenge for you and you don't like to lose."

Maybe I need to get my mind off her, and there's no better remedy than f*****g another girl. Smiling to myself, I reach for my phone and dialed a number, after all I needed to ease my desire.

"Hey baby. Took you long enough."