The Pilates Class

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

EDITH LAMBERT SIGHED and looked in the mirror. It was bad enough being invisible, but now Julian had styled her hair just like a cauliflower again. She wanted it to look the way it had been when she first met Leonard, when she used to walk into a room and heads would turn. However, as that had been 54 years ago she was rapidly resigning herself to the fact that it was perhaps rather optimistic to expect Julian to perform miracles, and that she would have to get used to looking not unlike a vegetable from the brassica family.

Bette Davis was right when she’d said that old age was not for sissies. Edith hated being old. Everything ached that was still working, and what didn’t ache didn’t work at all. Leonard was gone and her three children had moved to London as soon as they were able to look for work. Her only joy was when they visited for the day and brought the grandchildren. Edith had only ever lived in Norfolk all her life, and she was too old now to want to change her ways.

But hey, there was always a walk in the park to lift her spirits, and she could change her library book at the same time. Edith put on her coat and grabbed her bag. If she kept moving it seemed to help her backache.

The young thin-faced woman at the counter always looked as if she had never laughed in her life. Edith handed over her library book.

“That’s 10 pence please Mrs Lambert. It’s overdue.”

“Your assistant extended it for me over the phone, dear. I forgot to write the new date in.”

Thelma’s face froze into a grimace as she double-checked on the computer screen. Monica had not entered any extended date in the computer. Why did they always come out with the same excuse? Was there a group leader that phoned all the other old ladies and told them what to say to avoid paying overdue fines?

“Please remember to write the date down next time.”

“Have you got that Fifty Shades book?” Edith wanted to lose herself in a good racy read and forget all about her aches and pains. She couldn’t have s*x anymore, but could still remember what went where and what it felt like when it got there.

“I’ll put your name on the waiting list.”

Oh God, not another one.

Edith meandered along the fiction aisles and stopped at the L – M section. She would have to make do with Lady Chatterley’s Lover again. Oh good, it was still on the shelf. The young of today didn’t know what they were missing!

As she made her way back to the counter a poster on the wall in front of her advertising Pilates sessions for beginners caught her myopic eye. Moving in closer she could see that all ages were welcome, and that it would be particularly good for toning muscles and helping to relieve aches and pains. Mats and gym balls would be provided free of charge.

As Edith woke up each morning wondering what was going to ache that day, she suddenly decided it was about time she started doing some exercises to help herself. She felt sure the GP was heartily sick of the sight of her; all he ever told her each time was to lose weight and do some exercise. Perhaps with Pilates the muscles around her abdomen would become so strong and toned that her waist circumference would shrink by 10 inches? Ha! Pigs might fly!

The doorbell rang just as Betty Richards had plumped herself down with her coffee and digestive biscuit to watch the Jeremy Kyle show. Slightly irritated at having to get up again, she touched the pause button on the remote control and padded to the front door:

“It’s only me, dear!”

“Oh, come in Edie. I’ve just made some coffee. Would you like a cup? Your hair looks nice.”

“Lovely!” Edith patted a stray white lock into place. ”Julian did it this morning. You feel better when your hair’s been done don’t you?”

“You do indeed. He’s doing mine tomorrow. I told him I want something different this time.”

“Different? Like what?”

“I want a new me. New colour; new style.”

“Can’t wait to see it! Talking of a new you, do you fancy coming with me to the leisure centre next Monday to try out the Pilates class for beginners?” Edith sipped her coffee. “Apparently it can help to get rid of your aches and pains.”

“Look at the size of me!” Betty took another biscuit. “I’m too old and fat for anything like that.”

“You’re younger than me, dear. It’ll be a bit of a laugh. You know, take us out of ourselves. I don’t think you have to run around. It’s all done on a mat that’ll be provided.”

“Oh, I don’t know……” Betty had a sudden vision of anorexic women in skin-tight leotards and rainbow coloured leg warmers prancing about to something by the Bee Gees.

“I’ll knock for you on Monday evening at 7 o’clock.” Edith finished her coffee. “Put Jeremy back on.”