THE VOICE
917 Words
'Poor cushion.'
'Poor white cushion.'
The cocoa was still unbelievably hot.
I could feel my skin burning from the heat.
I quickly ran to the kitchen store and picked a burn balm from the medicine cabinet.
I have never used a balm before, so I didn't know that the balm only affected the skin's appearance in a good way but did nothing about the pain.
I clenched my lap and arched my back in pain.
I didn't want to scream because I knew that my parents were probably still asleep.
Cleaning my cushion was the hardest chore I had to do.
I sat on my bed instead and picked up a book from the bedside, titled 'The dark hold'.
I had read the book three times already, but I was ready to read it again.
The novel was a classic horror book.
It always spooked the hell out of me, so I figured I'd rather feel fear than pain.
I took my blanket and hid under it as the weather was getting cold.
I always loved feeling cozy.
My room was always clean because clean rooms always matched my mood.
Yeah, I am a lazy and stress-free girl, but I can push myself when it's critical.
That's the main reason I set up the schedule in the first place.
I really didn't like how I procrastinated and sat around doing nothing.
I am a phlegmatic by temperament, and if you know anything about them, you'd know how lazy we can get.
And the worst part is being motivated to do the right thing.
It usually just comes like a magical raindrop in my heart every morning to do things that will make me feel like the kind of girl I want to be.
I loved and admired girls who just woke up in the morning and had a planned day ahead of them, doing hair routines, special showers, face care, domestic personal chores, whilst still looking pretty and girly.
But once that motivation comes, I only end up lazing around and avoiding work.
Eventually, when I finally come to my senses, I think really hard about things I can do to stay longer on the right and perfect track.
You know those movies when characters are usually stuck in a time loop, and one person who is not affected by the time loop has to constantly remind the other that this moment has been relived a million times?
So the victim knows that it's only a matter of time until he forgets it all again.
He has to put things together and remember facts for the next time.
That's literally me.
When I enter into my "don't care" mode, it takes a lot of emotion to pull me back out.
Sometimes, it takes a full self-evaluation to get me to snap me out of it.
Other times, all it takes is the right movie that pulls me into tears and overthinking.
All I've ever wanted is to be perfect.
Because I feel like a lot of people don't like me, so I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't the one at fault.
When I'm in one of those states, sometimes I could stay without a shower until it's nighttime.
Another thing I hate about myself is how paranoid I am.
But when I get sad, like really sad, even though I have been in one of those states, I always force myself to clean because I can't express myself in dirty places.
I didn't realize that I was hungry until I got to Chapter 4.
My eyes hurt, but I couldn't get them off the book.
The author's words just amazed me.
His style and imagination was epic.
I was into a little bit of writing, but just a little bit.
Suddenly, my stomach gave me a reminder of my previous thought.
'Food.'
'Mouth-watering food.'
Almost immediately, I crawled out of the bed and sluggishly walked to the kitchen.
I opened the top cupboard in search of anything appetizing.
That's when I spotted six packs of stacked instant noodles.
I took two packs and fixed myself an amazing breakfast.
As usual, I had a taste while holding the plate, standing.
It was amazing and "hot!"
"Damn."
I forgot how much chili powder I put in there.
"Oh God!" I exclaimed, running to the freezer to get some ice cubes.
I can be a good cook, but I clearly needed restrictions on the chili pack.
I took a cold bottle of water out of the freezer.
The moment I closed the door, I felt the bottle of water turn hot, and I dropped it.
That's when I remembered the incident with my hot cocoa and the voice.
"Oh my gosh, how could I have forgotten the voice?"
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