I AM

Bangtan

Idols are more than just people you admire. They become a reflection of who you want to be, who inspires you to grow, and sometimes, they become the ones who unknowingly save you.

In a life that feels uncertain, like you are floating in darkness, their music lifts you up. Just like how lyrics start soft and slowly become full of emotion, they reach something inside you. Their choreography shows passion, their hard work shows discipline, and their personalities reveal parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed.

I was in Grade 6 when I first saw my classmate who was a fan of TWICE. Back then, I didn’t understand why she enjoyed watching a group of girls dancing and having fun.

Then in Grade 7, I heard more names BTS, BLACKPINK, EXO. And I remember thinking, “Who are they?”

Growing up, those groups were never my type. I didn’t understand why people loved songs they couldn’t even understand.

Not until the pandemic came.

Boredom slowly consumed me. One day, while scrolling, I came across BTS. At first, I thought, “Yeah, their songs are good.” But minutes turned into hours. Soon, I found myself watching their interviews, learning about their stories, and understanding their wisdom.

The pandemic felt suffocating. I was scared that boredom would swallow the person I was becoming, until I found myself singing songs I once thought I would never understand.

Because it was never just about the language.

It was about the feeling.

The rhythm that makes you feel alive.

Being a fan became something more. It made me dream, even unrealistic ones like, “What if I become their wife?” (HAHAHAHA). But more than that, they saved a young kid who was drowning in her own thoughts.

Their story taught me something: if something is meant for you, it will find its way into your hands, even when it feels impossible.

When they announced their hiatus, I felt the same sadness as other fans. It was like finally finding comfort, then suddenly being told it would pause. It felt like something important was being taken away.

For a moment, I thought it was just a phase.

But when they appeared again on my feed, something in me came back to life. That same young kid felt alive again. I realized how much I missed them.

And maybe one day, I’ll stand in a crowd, singing their songs at the top of my lungs, surrounded by people who feel the same way.

Maybe one day, I’ll finally shout those chants with them.

“Kim Namjoon! Kim Seokjin! Min Yoongi! Jung Hoseok! Park Jimin! Kim Taehyung! Jeon Jungkook! BTS!”

and I feel my heart beat along with thousands of others, all connected by the same music that once saved me.

My favorite song: “Life Goes On”

That song reminded me that no matter how heavy everything feels, no matter how lost you are,life doesn’t stop.

It keeps moving.

And maybe… So should I.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18