I UNDERSTAND EVE...
707 Words
I got accepted to the same university Jacob was at. My mom even got me a car, a little beige Duet. I spent so much time with Jacob that during the past 2 years of our relationship, and during our time together, he would allow me to drive in and out of his yard in his car as he would open and close his gate. GENTLE MAN, am I right? By the time I got my own car, I pretty much knew how it all worked. But of course, he helped me perfect it. I also made it a must to see him every day. The drive to and from his house and mine made me an excellent driver in no time. By this time, we had our sad moments, but overall, we were happy to be together. We would rather fight each other, cry together than with anyone else. To us, that was love. Life was really looking up, as we would say at that time.
The first semester of university seemed to be going by like a breeze. I met amazing people, people I still consider friends till today. Growing up, no one told me what a mess it would all be. How much discipline goes into being at university. Let me tell you, I had the shock of my life. Kudos to everyone who went through all that university crap and still managed to obtain a degree.
With meeting new people from different walks of life, I was exposed to a lot of weed and a lot more alcohol. I was under the impression life ended at vodka and gin. Boy, was I wrong.
Jacob had class when I didn’t so I found myself doing things without him. Realizing I didn’t really need him as much as I thought I did, 24/7.
I had smoked once or twice with Jacob but never to the extent in which it was always available at my university. It wasn’t his thing. But it sure did become mine. Weed brought a sense of comfort and calm over me that I started to feel like I needed more and more every day.
During one of our smoke sessions, I met this man named Adrian. We barely said a word to each other. But we would smoke together a lot because of the mutual friends we had. Few weeks later, a friend of ours let me know that Adrian really liked me. Although I had never looked at him in that way, after hearing that, I realized I liked being in his company. But I knew I couldn’t act on anything because I was with Jacob. I made it clear to Adrian that I was in a relationship and he seemed to be really understanding and respectful of the fact. Months went by and I found myself getting closer to Adrian.
I eventually told Jacob how I felt about Adrian. I told him we had to call it quits while I figure out what I wanted.
Jacob and I couldn’t be apart for too long before one of us couldn’t do it anymore. Jacob seemed to have entered an even deeper depression. He was angry, drinking way more, just not himself. At the time, I didn’t know it was normal to love two people at the same time, or how to best navigate it. I made the decision to stay with Jacob because he needed me. I needed him. I didn’t know how to live without him, and to be honest, I couldn’t bear the thought of not having him in my life. He mattered more to me than anyone in the world so yes, I picked him over everyone, including myself.
Our relationship only got more passionate as the years went by. He was watching me grow into a woman, and although there was about 5 years difference between us and he was practically a grown man when we started dating, I had watched him grow and fight for his life as well. I was always so proud of the man he strived to be every day. I knew just how much pain he was in, so every day that I got to have him around was a blessing.
- Writer
