The Bucket-List Romance

[Sendai, Japan] Anika watched as Kaito fumbled with the keys while trying to open the doorknob to his apartment. His door doesn't have a digital lock like what she has in the hostel she was renting. It looks pretty decent from the outside, though. Small but decent. He pulled the door open which prompted the sensor to turn on the lights automatically, giving her a glimpse of what awaits her inside. His place looked cramped from the outside. And a little bit messy, too. No, not dirty. Just messy. “Please come in,” Kaito said as he widened the door opening. Anika took one hesitant step inside the small apartment. “I’m sorry it’s a bit messy,” Kaito said as he stepped inside after her. The clicking sound made by the door when it closes on its own startled her a bit. Part of her wanted to run away. But a bigger part of her wanted to stay. It must be the alcohol, she thought. Yup, of course, it’s the alcohol. What else could it be? It’s the alcohol that’s giving her the courage to come with him to his place. Yes, she had the whole situation pictured out ever since she came up with her bucket list. But nothing had prepared her for the real thing. She had been hearing a small voice from the back of her mind ever since she stepped inside his apartment; it was telling her to run away. But the alcohol’s influence came up stronger. It was telling her to stay and, for once in her life, do something bold and crazy. “Here, please wear this,” Kaito offered her a pair of slip-on sandals before he hurriedly picked up random stuff that was scattered around his place. “I’m so sorry for the mess, I was a little busy recently,” he said as he clumsily put away stuff. “T-that’s okay,” Anika said as she slowly took off her boots and wore the sandals he just offered her. The place was cramped. On her right, she could see a washing machine; on top of it was a laundry basket filled to the brim. She could see a door right beside it which, she assumed, leads to a private bath and comfort room. Which is rare in Japan. Most of the affordable apartments in Japan had shared comfort rooms. Some don’t even have bathrooms where you have to go to a Sentō, a public bath, to take a bath. On her left, just a few steps away from the washing machine, she could see his kitchen. Nope, there was no dining table of some sort. Just a double-burner stove, a sink, a small refrigerator, and an oven on top of it. “You want me to?” she heard him ask. She turned to him, confused about what he was trying to ask. “Uhm, your coat. You might need help with it…” he was hesitant. “Y-yeah, yeah, sure. Thank you,” she hurriedly took off her overcoat and handed it to him. She watched as he took her coat and hung it on the wall, beside his own. She hadn’t really realized until now that he had already taken off his own coat. “You want anything to drink?” he asked as he clumsily opened the fridge. She could hear the bottles clanked inside because of his rush movement. “No, no, I’m good,” she said as she surveyed the whole place with her eyes. “Please come in. You may sit down here,” Kaito led her to an archway that leads to his bedroom s***h workroom. It was more spacious than the entrance. There’s a single bed on one part of the room and just beside it is his working area. He had this table with a computer set and a drawing tablet on top of it, plus a lot of other stuff like books, magazines, papers, and such. On the other side of the room is an average-sized closet. Right above the closet is an AC-heater system. Then on a corner, she could see a single bean bag chair lying on the carpeted floor and a small tea table in front of it. A guitar, on a stand, stood right beside it, almost leaning against the wall. And just above everything were some drawings carefully posted on the wall. They were anime characters. “Please sit down. Oh, wait, let me just empty this chair,” he said when he realized that his computer chair was filled with random stuff. “That’s okay. I can just sit down here,” Anika said as she sat down at the edge of the bed. Kaito stopped what he was doing and turned to her. Their eyes locked for a few seconds as an awkward silence instantly enveloped the whole place. It was her who looked away first. “Y-you… you want anything?” Kaito asked in a dire attempt to lessen the awkwardness between the two of them. “No, I’m… I’m good,” she said as she tried to look away. She just couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes for another second. That’s when she noticed the small door which led to his small terrace. “Oh, you have a terrace, cool,” she said to keep things.. uhm.. casual. “Yes, it’s small but at least I have somewhere to go if I need a quick break and some fresh air. Plus I can hang to dry some clothes there during summer,” he explained as he slowly stepped towards where she was. Anika was sitting on the edge of his bed while he was now standing right in front of her. Their eyes were both fixed on the door that leads to the terrace outside. She looked up to him the exact moment he turned to her. Their eyes met once again and she automatically felt the tension. This time, it was Kaito who looked away first. It looked like he’s about to turn around but Anika was fast enough to snatch the hem of his shirt. That somehow made him freeze to his feet. Fixing her eyes on the floor, with her hand still holding unto the hem of his shirt, she said almost in a whisper. “Can we just get it over with?” It took a few seconds before he realized what she was trying to say. When it seemed like it had finally dawned on him, he slowly sat down on the bed, right beside her. It took all her might to bring her gaze to his face. And the moment their eyes met, she instantly felt the urge to look away. But the emotions she saw in his eyes drew her closer. She found herself staring back at him as he slowly fixed his gaze to her lips. Her mouth felt dry in an instant. Her heart began to beat twice as fast as it normally does. She suddenly felt the urge to tuck his hair behind his ears so she could see more of his face. His hair was long, it tended to cover his eyes most of the time. This was the first time that she was seeing him this close, she realized. He had beautiful eyes, she noticed. Sad but beautiful. Kaito is good-looking, Anika must admit. He actually reminded her of Kento Yamazaki, a famous Japanese actor. Soft yet expressive eyes, prominent nose, inviting lips, defined jawline. He could actually pass for an actor. Or a model, perhaps. She watched as he slowly raised a trembling hand to touch her face. And the anticipation was killing her. She was nervous and excited at the same time. Actually, she doesn’t understand why she was this nervous. She had done a lot of kissing scenes before with different actors. Kissing Kaito shouldn't feel any different. But for whatever reason, she was twice as nervous. She felt like her heart's in her throat the whole time. Her eyes automatically shut the moment she saw his face closed the distance that separated them. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips when she felt his lips brushed against her own. He wasn't really kissing her, he was merely touching his lips against her. It's as if he was trying to gauge her response. His right hand was on her cheek, keeping her in place. When she felt him slowly nibbling her lips, her lips instinctively moved to match his. And as if it was the go signal that he was waiting for, he started to really kiss her. As she felt him deepening the kiss, her instinct took over. Before she knew it, she was already kissing him back voluntarily. She could taste the beer from his mouth and somehow, it was giving her an intoxicating feeling. She was drawn deeper into his kisses that for a moment, she thought they're in love. Her arms made their way to his neck without her realizing. She was so lost in the moment when she felt him withdraw. She opened her eyes and was about to protest when she realized that he was just taking off his shirt. His broad shoulders and defined chest were a sight to behold but before she could feast her eyes on it, he bent closer to claim her mouth again. That automatically shut her eyes once again and brought her back to limbo. She felt him lift her shirt without having to break their kisses. He only pulled away to slip her shirt over her head but went on claiming her lips again the moment he got rid of her shirt. She felt him slowly guiding her to lie on her back without having to break their lips apart. And the moment she felt the soft mattress against her back, she felt him hesitate. And to her disappointment, he felt him withdraw. She opened her eyes and saw him staring down at her. He was literally hovering above her face. His arms were planted on the bed, each on her sides, to support his weight. His breathing was quick and rugged, strong s****l desire was written all over his face. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" he asked in a husky voice. That somehow caught her off guard. Was she really sure? Was she really ready for this? He must've seen the doubt in her eyes that she saw him let out a deep sigh before he lifted himself up to sit down on the edge of the bed. "I'm… I'm sorry," Anika said. She saw him run his fingers through his hair before he picked up her shirt from the floor. He handed her her shirt and asked, "Do you want some ramen?" "Y-yeah, ramen sounds good," she said as she took her shirt from his hands. "I'll be quick," he said before he grabbed his shirt from the floor, stood up to put it on, then went to the kitchen to prepare some ramen. Watching him walk away from her brought a mix of feelings she could hardly tell. She couldn't even tell if she was relieved or frustrated. But she was ready, she thought. She was all ready. If only he didn't ask.