THESE THINGS I'LL NEVER SAY

Alice Smith was a busy woman, she made a point to be so. All her coworkers knew and some even spoke about it in a joking derisive way, behind her back of course, they valued their heads. The mood in the office had been somewhat somber since yesterday, when they heard the news that Jane Murphy had taken her own life. She didn't go, but she heard the funeral had been a somber affair. Violent deaths are the only thing that can make a funeral worse. A s****e especially tends to direct a lot of self-righthous anger towards the corpse. A selfish decision. A sign of quitting. The mix of hurt and anger that stain the sadness in the loved ones eyes. Most people in the office didn't go they did not know the dead woman that well anyway, not enough at least to do all those miles to deceased's hometown. However, a few put up a small collection for a colective flower delivery with the typical impersonal sympathy card. Alice did not join in either. What would be the point? Besides she was too busy and it was a s****e after all. And plus, she didn't do funerals. She was almost ready to leave when Julia entered her office. She had been the only one to actually attend the funeral. Not looking up Alice asked "How did it go?", it was only when she heard the bitterness in Julia's voice that she looked up. "How did it go?! How do you think it go?!" she closed the office door behind her. "Maybe if you had been civil to her Alice... It wouldn't have gone!", "What the hell are you talking about?!" she didn't have time for this nonsense but Julia was livid "You cut her off! You cut her off because you are too bigoted to get along with anyone different from you. You used her and then you did what you always do! Cut her off without any explanation!" , "I don't owe her any explanation! Or to you for that matter" she was raising to leave when Julia shoved a notebook in her hands "I promised a friend of Jane's I would give you this. She mistook me for you and nearly tore my head off! She thought you should read it and so do I." she looked Alice straight in the eye "I will never understand why she was so stuck on you. Jane could do... Could have done, so much better. I told her so, you know? I though she finally saw you for the b***h you are!" tears were falling from Julia's eyes something Alice rarely saw on her friend "You could have done anything yet you had to go with the silence treatment!" and she existed the office.