Make Him Bleed or Yearn

15

Diana

I never thought I would attend my own funeral, yet there I was, dressed in black, a black purse clutched in my hand, leaning against a parked car as I watched the world bury me.

Only a handful of people stood by the grave. Faces I once trusted. My eyes found Gaston and Rebecca almost immediately, standing beside Rheagar, my chief mourner. The irony nearly made me laugh.

Rebecca suddenly collapsed to her knees,

“Why did she have to go like that?” she wailed, convincing enough that anyone watching would believe she was devastated.

“Lily, why?” she continued, clutching at the dirt. “Why did you leave me so early?”

It was a performance. A perfect one, every head turned toward her, sympathy pouring in exactly as she wanted.

Gaston stared at her, I almost pitied him in that moment, almost. He hadn’t expected this level of theatrics from her, not after what they had done to me together.

They stood there without shame, not even an ounce of guilt.

And still, they dared to show up.

“She was a good person, you could ask anyone. She was always working and working and working, now look where it got her. Why Lily, why would you let death take you so easily. All you had to do was fight back, fight back to survive for us, for me. What am I going to do without you now” Gaston reached out to control her but she brushed his hands off.

I couldn’t stand there and listen to the lies spewing out of her mouth, sounding so convincing that people were beginning to whisper, that she was a good friend to me. So I moved closer to them and just when I was behind her, I kicked her into the grave.

Bang, she hit her head so hard on the coffin that her feet spiraled up.

It wasn’t a good to laugh at a funeral especially after the death of someone so kind but Rebecca falling in was so good that it made the guests laugh. Afterall I wasn’t dead so I would allow it.

“What are you waiting for? Get me out of the dump?” She screamed at Gaston, but her choice of words made people reconsider if she actually cared for me.

She noticed it instantly,

“I mean this grave that took my friend so soon” she corrected herself.

Gaston stretched his hand to draw her out but when he almost slipped, he quickly let go of her hand and she fell right back again.

Fuming and angry, “What the hell is wrong with you?” She yelled at him.

Instead of helping her, he ordered the men to pull her out instead, he refused to be a laughing stock too at her expense.

Once she was pulled out, she dusted herself and rushed to the car where she never stepped out again.

Gaston took some minutes to lay his final respects before he tapped Rheagar on the shoulders.

“Please accept my condolences, I wish I was able to do something to save her then we wouldn’t be gathered here today” he said piosed.

Rheagar wiped the tears off his eyes, he had already had a nack for acting, I’m still wondering why he chose to go into tech.

“It’s alright, I know you did your possible less, I mean best to save her” he replied and I almost let out a laugh from hiding behind the crowd.

Gaston left the graveside first. Then a few of the guests followed. One by one, they drifted away until the cemetery fell silent and I was left completely alone.

I stood there staring at the coffin, overflowing with roses, my fingers tightening around the single flower in my hand. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it in.

That was the night I saw death face to face and I fought to survive.

Rheagar had told me that the coffin was empty but it felt like I was in there, locked up with no space and no air to breath.

Just like that night, I watched them laugh as I was burning in flames in that car.

Tears fell from my eyes and I fell to the ground in a crying mess, what could I have ever done to deserve such a cruel death, to die at the hands of the two people I loved the most.

And to think, that I could willing lay down my life for them in the past, so they took it literally and decided to eliminate me instead.

How stupid I was, most people start by seeing signs first but I was too gullible to not even see the signs in the first place.

“I’m really sorry that it took me this long to realize” I said. More to myself.

I’m sorry that I had to die to know that I couldn’t please everyone.

I stay for a couple more minutes letting the tears come out, it was the last time I was ever going to cry, the next time, the tears wouldn’t come from me.

Suddenly,

The rain began to fall without warning, drumming against the coffin until the sound filled my head and drowned out everything else. Still, I didn’t move. I sat there in the open, letting the storm soak through me.

I still had a lot to say to myself, I had promises to make that I would never break.

Within minutes my clothes clung to my skin, heavy with water. Mud smeared my hands, grit lodged beneath my nails, but none of it mattered. I stayed. I let the rain punish me, as if I deserved it.

Instead I cried out the more, trying to compete with the rain on who could let out more until my eyes were completely red and blurry.

Then suddenly the rain stopped.

No, Not stopped.

An umbrella hovered above me.

At first, I assumed it was Rheagar. I didn’t look up right away. I wanted a few more seconds. A few more heartbeats to finish my goodbyes, to gather whatever was left of me from the ground.

When I finally pushed myself up and lifted my head, the face staring back at me was the last one I ever expected to see.

His beautiful eyes had more pity in them for me than myself, he stares at me like I was a precious gem who shouldn’t be crying.

“Melvin” I called out his name in surprise.