Remember

Chapter 4: Secrets

Chapter 4: Secrets

Emma’s P.O.V:

His mom stared at me speechlessly with her hand cupped over her cheek. I glanced over at Sean, who looked like he was trying to understand what had just happened. I kept my eyes on him not knowing what else to do. He glanced at me and I gave him an apologetic look.

What do I do now?

Taking a sharp breath I gave him a sheepish smile before bolting pass him and his mom and out of his house. Once I was in his drive way I looked back at his house.

Perfect, really smart Emma ole girl.

Sean's P.O.V:

It's been at least six hours since she left and Emma still hadn't texted me.

One would think three missed calls and seven text messages would be worthy of some form of reply ...or a flat out rejection for sounding so desperate... But God even a freaking smoke signal could be of some use right now.

I sighed heavily as I sat outside my bedroom window on the roof staring out at the moon... Cause that's what smart adolescent boys do.

I still could hardly believe she hit my mom, not that I'm blaming her or anything. In fact I'm kind of glad she did. Mom had it coming anyway, always attacking Emma like that, it's not her fault she has sick parents. I couldn't help but wonder if she was alright, I haven't heard from her since she left. I guess she should be OK since she hasn't texted me. I pulled my phone from my sweater pocket and wrote her a message hey, just checking in to see if everything is fine.'

I sat there for a while checking my phone every few minutes hoping she had reply. I finally gave up and sent another text

I guess you're probably sleeping, love you. Be safe OK.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket feeling a little disappointed that she hadn't replied.

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The following morning

"Sean! Wake up its eleven thirty! You can't waste your Saturday sleeping. I got a favor to ask of you!" I heard my mom yelling as she banged on my door. I groaned still half asleep and pulled the covers over my head "Sean, Sean I'm coming in". She then barged into my room and strode over to my bed. "Come on Sean get up I need you to babysit your cousin for me," she stated looming over my head.

Was she serious? How can she act like nothing happened yesterday? I had to practically beg for her not to press charges against Emma until she finally gave in when I convinced her that it would ruin her image if the neighbors saw a police car parked in our drive way.

"What?" I mumbled pulling the sheet from over my head.

"Your aunt Marcy has some work thing in New Jersey and her baby sitter wasn't available today so she asked if I could watch Cameron for her, but"

"But nothing mom she asked you not me" I said before a yawn escaped my lips as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"I know, I know but I have a few errands to run, so I'm just going to need you to watch him till I get back"

"Fine" I mumbled, "Wait hold on, aunt Marcy has a kid?" I asked just becoming aware that I've never heard of this kid before.

"Yes Sean! I told you about him when he was born, remember we were supposed to visit her when she had him but the car broke down"

"Yeah um, doesn't ring a bell mom, how old is this kid now anyway?"

"Honestly I'm not sure can't let her know that though" mom said giggling. I stared blankly at her and she cleared her throat. "I'll go get him" mom said. She sprinted downstairs. My mouth dropped as she entered with a little pink baby in her hand.

"Mom what the heck that's not a kid that's a baby! I can't even hold it much less take care of one"

"Oh Sean don't be ridiculous it's not like he's a new born, you don't necessarily have to hold his head for support much so he's not that young. She then set him down on the bed next to me, and I stared at him clueless. "Anyway got to go later!" mom said then ran out before I could even get a word in.

Emma's P.O.V:

"Emma?" mom barged into my room. "Oh Emma I'm so sorry" she said as she sat on the bed beside me. "What are you sorry for?" I asked avoiding eye contact with her. "I'm just so sorry for not coming home last night and not contacting you so you could know I wasn't gona be home."

"Yeah its fine I figured you were too busy prostituting yourself for a few dollars" with that statement I got a hard b***h slap across my face. "I'm sorry but Emma that's no way to talk to your mother". I held onto my cheek and just stared at her, she knew I wasn't lying. I laughed to myself and turned my back to her. "What happened to your arms, they are full of wales" she asked now suddenly concerned as she observed my discolored arms. "Oh, your dear husband didn't think he punished me enough so, at about the time you went out being a slit he came home and punished me some more." As soon as I said this blurred images of my dad molesting me flashed through my mind and the pain became fresh in my thoughts. My eyes welded with tears as I remembered what he did to me last night. "Baby I'm so sorry, I wish I were here to comfort you."

Is she serious? Is that what she's sorry about?

I flashed my head around at her "how about being sorry for putting me in this predicament, how about being sorry for having a child with probably the one guy on earth who finds pleasure in seeing his daughter in pain" and the water works began. I was crying uncontrollably "if you think all you need to be sorry for is not being able to dress my wounds or that that's what's bothering me then you're so wrong"

I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat and used my palms to wipe the tears from my eyes. "You only know half the things he does to me mom! I'm just fifteen I don't deserve this, don't you see, I don't!" I yelled trying to catch my breath. "Please just leave me alone, just, just get out" I begged dropping myself face down onto my pillow. I know I was being brusque, but I just didn't give a damn anymore. I heard her sigh, and with my face buried in my pillow I could feel her pity stare but I refused to look up at her and be empathetic. "I'm sorry Emma" she said before leaving my room.

I was still aching down there. I curled up in bed and cried myself to sleep.

Time had apparently ran by pretty quickly while I was asleep. I blinked my eyes to clear my blurred vision as I stared over at the clock on the wall. It was already evening, I really was knocked out huh. I slowly dragged my aching body from my bed and staggered to my door. I sluggishly made my way down the stair case and into the kitchen. The house was quiet, too quiet. The dirty dishes were still piled up in the sink and the tap was dripping. I paced towards the living area and glared around the room. "Mom!" I yelled. When there was no answer I cleared my throat still looking around the room. "Dad?" I said in a more hushed tone. At first I was a little worried but I figured, he had one of those 'feel good spells' where he decides to be nice and carry mom out for dinner.

Sean's P.O.V:

"Ugh! God! Kid please stop crying!" I begged as I rocked the alarm, apparently mistaken for a baby in my lap. My phone was vibrating on the center table, it was a text from Emma

'Hey home alone?' it read.

I was so elated to be receiving a text from her that I hastily responded.

'Yep basically. What's up? Was worried about you..' I typed before quickly hitting send.

"I was hoping you were" a voice said after barging through my front door. I quickly spun around and I began smiling like the Cheshire cat when I saw Emma standing in my front door.

"Hey! How'd you get here so quick?" I asked as I moved towards her for an embrace that I love so much. I figure she'd need one now more than ever considering all that happened between her and my mom yesterday. "I was actually at the door when I texted, uh Sean where'd you get a baby from?" she asked with a sardonic yet quizzical expression on her face. "Oh, this is a cousin I didn't know I had, yeah babysitting him today for my aunt." I answered in a higher tone trying to be above his ear wrenching cry.

"He's quite the siren huh"

"Yep, and he's been like this all morning, hey babies love girls, here try to calm him down" I suggested stretching him out to her. "oh no no no no no, I don't know how to deal with a baby" she refused. "Come on just try, please" I pleaded. She sighed and gave me a pity look then took the baby into her arms. He continued crying for a while then started staring at her.

Emma's P.O.V:

"Why is he staring at me like that? This is really creepy" I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows. The kid was crying, he just stopped abruptly and began giving me this intense stare.

"Guess he likes you, I'm just glad he stopped crying. So thanks" Sean smirked.

"Um ok, I think you should take him back now, and has it occurred to you that maybe he might be a little hungry?" I handed him back the baby and he prepared him a bottle then fed him.

"Sean?"

"Yeah Emma?" he answered solicitously. Though I tried to hide the melancholy in my voice he seemed to have picked it up. My eyes were bobbing all over the room, everywhere except on Sean. I hadn't noticed I was twiddling my fingers and biting down on my lower lip.

Sean's P.O.V:

I hadn't been observing her much since I began feeding the baby, so I was oblivious of her change of mood before she said my name.

"Can we go somewhere else, I.."

"Hey its ok, you don't have to explain, even I feel uncomfortable here of late, where do you want to go? It's got to be somewhere baby friendly though" I smiled trying to change her mood. She passed her palms up and down her arms as if to calm herself from the uneasy feeling she was having. "Is the park good?" she asked barely looking at me. "Sounds pretty baby friendly to me, I'm just going to go pack a baby bag and get the stroller, so be right back k." She nodded her head in response.

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"You've been so quiet" I said as I put my hand on her shoulder. "You seem really deep in thought, everything ok?" I asked. She gave me a faint smile. "I'm fine"

"Then why so quiet?" I could not help but ponder what was going through her beautiful head.

Emma's P.O.V:

She gave me another slightly brighter smile. "This is all just dumb" I said in a livelier tone trying to avert his concern on something else. "What's dumb?" he asked knitting his perfect eyebrows playfully and tilting his chin up at me. "This, we're sitting on a blanket with a sleeping baby like we're some stupid couple like in those retarded movies. Why'd you even carry a blanket for us, we could sit on a bench you know, the baby is in a stroller, so it's just dumb.

Sean stared at me a while before he began laughing like I gave the most hysterical joke. "I don't get what's so amusing" I said with an eyebrow raised. He continued laughing. I had to smile though his laughter was just so contagious, and at least it replaced all the dull depressing thoughts that had previously engulfed my mind. I began laughing too, "What's so funny Sean?" I asked laughing along with him. "If this were a scene in one of those retarded movies wana know what'd happen next?" he asked after a chuckle.

"What?" I asked smiling from ear to ear.

Suddenly he pulled me unto him and caught my lips in a deep kiss, it was so unexpected. At first my lips were sealed as his lips met mine but soon within little time I caught up and was well engaged in the passionate proceedings. His lips were so soft- as usual, so warm...

Sean Anthony Danielle...

I don't want you corrupting my son... You’re obviously no better than your mother

I'll ask one more time. Where__?

I was out f*****g Sean!

What? Mad cause you weren't the one on top this time?

On top this time.... on top this time

I viciously shoved Sean off me as tears began streaming down my face. It's like past events had set out to haunt me every time I took a step forward.

"Emma?" he said. He sounded so confused, damn he must think I'm a f*****g psycho.

"Emma did I do something wrong?"

I couldn't answer, I could barely even catch a breath between sobs. I sat up away from him trying to calm my disquieted breathing.

"Emma if this is about my mo__"

'You little b***h' I heard my dad's voice say in my head

"f**k off!" I screamed. Sean was dumb founded. That wasn't meant for him. I clasped my mouth shut and covered my mouth as my tears rained down harder. "Sean" I pleaded. "I'm so sorry, that really wasn't for you, I swear, I didn't mean that. Don't hate me, I'm so sorry. It wasn't for you. I just, his voice, he's just in my head so much, I just snapped" I expounded hoping he'd understand.

"Who's voice Emma? Your dad?" he asked staring sympathetically at me. I sighed as I wiped the tears from my eyes relieved that he wasn't upset at me.

"I hate him Sean, I ... I just wish he'd drop dead" I seethed, trying to regain my composure.

"Emma, what did he do to you last night?"

That question shocked my wits out. Is it that he's getting ideas of other things my dad does to me, have I unconsciously given him hints leading to his curiosity?

"I ... I don't know what you mean Sean, you know how he hurts me practically every day, I mean you've seen the bruises, so your question is pretty dumb" I said trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

"I guess your right Emma, it's just that, your hands are filled with Wales. I've been trying not to say anything, because I really don't want to mess with your mood. It really was a stupid question, I guess, sometimes your just, I don't know, I just want you to be ok. That's all" Sean said shaking his previous thought from his head.

There was a brief moment of silence before I blurted "Hey Sean"

"Yeah Em"

"I love you" I said after a deep breath. The smile it left on his face was priceless.

The following Monday

Sean's P.O.V:

"So, you seem happy this morning" I said observing how talkative and lively Emma was being. "Who me?" Emma asked before stuffing some cheese curls into her mouth as we walked to our regular eating spot.

"Yeah it's like you got a pep in your step, what's going on, not that I don't like it or anything, just curious?"

She was really being odd today though, answering questions in class, smiling a lot, she was in a mini skirt instead of her usual jeans, and she just wasn't herself.

"I just figured that, it's a new day and I'm not going to let my f****d up parents ruin that, you know. Using my new found secret shifters." she said giving me a broad smile. I know I should be glad she's jovial but, the fact that she's changed over to someone completely different is very befuddling. "That's it?' I asked, still not believing that was her reason.

"Well, that's what I just said, so I guess it is Sean"

I sighed incredulously. We stayed silent for a while and I watched as she ate her snacks in such a messy rush as if she hadn't eaten for days.

Time quickly slipped by and I was packing up to get to my next class. Emma, was still nibbling on something. She ate at least six different snacks while we sat, hence I barely even got a word in.

"Hey Sean, what sub you got now?" she asked bubbly wiping some crumbs from her face. "uh math, so do you, don't have your time table today again?" I asked, knowing how she'd always forget her time table.

"Yeah, as usual, but, how about we not go to class, just this once"

My head quickly shot up at her. "What do you mean?" I asked knowing full well what she meant.

"Let's scull, let's go do something fun" she suggested with the broadest smile on her face. Of all the things she's said this morning this can be categorized as the most odd. Instead she'd suggest just sitting here for a little longer before going to class, but to 'scull' and do something 'fun' was never the case. "What? No Emma, come on this is math, we need this, plus are you even thinking straight, you know your dad would be outraged if he found out you did something like this again" I reminded her.

"He won't find out. I was present for the entire morning, so they won't call him or anything. Sean quite being a sour pus, just this once can we do this for me!" she begged. I could tell she was getting upset but, I know the consequences, not even for me, more for her. "Em, we can do that next Saturday, or even after school if you like, but we got two more periods before school ends, can we just go through them Emma instead of taking this big risk?"

I was literally pleading, she was in such a good mood, I didn't want to be the one to get her upset.

So said so done.

"You know what fine Sean" she exploded.

SIGH.

"I'll go alone, the one time I want to do something you gotta be all, ugh why am I even wasting my time? Bye Sean" she grabbed up her belongings in a frenzy and stormed.

Sometimes she's just so damn f****d up but, _____________ I love her.

"God! Emma just wait up" I yelled frustrated.

She's happy, this is what she wants, I owe it to her.

"You get pissed too easily Emma, God says you should be slow to anger" I said nudging her with my elbow. "Whatever" she mumbled as I paced beside her. "Your whatevering God????" I asked in a sarcastic astonished tone. She tried not to giggle but it slipped. "Oh shut up Sean" she said smiling as her mood lightened up a bit. "So where is it that you so desperately want to go to have fun?" I asked, still not fully supportive of what we were doing but being driven by how much I actually care about her happiness. "Well there's this little river mom used to take me, back when I was like four, its really pretty, I just feel like going there for some reason" she said with a little smile as her eyes scanned the ground. "Ok lead the way" I said as I slowly entangled her fingers in mine.

We finally got to the river after walking through loads of bush, she was right, it was a beautiful river, very secluded and peaceful. "So what now?" I asked as I stared at her just gazing out at the river. "I don't know, just sit" she instructed as she made herself comfortable on a large rock. "Don't you just love it?" she asked. I didn't even know Emma was into nature. Her face was just plastered with a wide grin, I can't recall when else she's ever been exactly like this. I forgot I was supposed to be responding to her question. "Well, I guess silence is consent, so I'll assume you think it's nice too. You wanna go in?"

"Go in?" I asked

"Yeah, like, go into the water" she said with that duhh expression on her face. "I don't have clothes to change into"

"Neither do I, but I have on a camisole and shorts, don't you have on an underpants or something under that sweat pants?"

The thought of being in water with her had paralyzed my thinking. She's normally reserved, yet somehow, right now she's the total opposite. Before I could even utter another word she was heading into the water in her yellow under shirt and a tiny little green shorts, which I would never have imagine is something she'd wear. She stooped down and began splashing the water on herself. "Sean! You've got to come in" she said smiling. She looked so childish and playful and so merry. Her happiness was just so infectious that without much thought I pulled my shirt and sweatpants off and ran to her side. "I've never seen you shirtless before" she said chuckling. I didn't even know what to say. She began to splash the water on me. "Emma" I screamed but she just splashed water into my mouth too. I started laughing like crazy and splashed her in return. We splashed and splashed like a couple of 3 year olds at the beach for the first time.

Emma's P.O.V:

I tried running away from him but he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me unto his bare wet chest. "Got you now" he said in such an alluring voice that my breath hitched. He was holding me onto his body, like I was his appendage. "Emma why are you so different today?" he asked looking deep into my eyes. He was making me extremely nervous. I bit down on my bottom lip and looked away from him.

"You know you can Trust me, right? Do you trust me Emma?"

I sighed heavily, "yeah I do Sean" I answered completely avoiding eye contact. He took my chin in his fingers so I'd look at him. "Can I kiss you?" he asked. I sighed once more as I recalled all that happened the last time he kissed me. I don't blame him for asking, he must think I'm some sort of psycho by now. I don't think any girl gives any guy as hard a time, as I give Sean.

"You don't have to ask" I mumbled

"But Emma someti___"

"Just kiss me already" I said cutting him off. He raised my head up back to his face. "If you insist" he smirked. His lips moved closer to mine, and my eyes instinctively shut as I awaited his soft lips on mine. His lips finally met mine and the union was so fabulous I felt like crying, however before I could react I felt the warmth of his lip depart from mine. I almost whimpered at the loss as I fluttered my eyes open.

Why did I yearn for his lips now so badly? Why was it so chaste this time?

"We should get going now" he said as his arms slowly loosened their grip around me.

"Alright" I said exasperatedly.

We got out of the water, allowed ourselves to dry a bit, redressed and started to leave.

"I've got to um meet up with my mom, she said I have to go to some doctor's appointment after school today or something" I said as I looked down on my phone. "And school would be over by now so, I'm gonna meet her now" I said as we walked back into civilization.

"Oh, why a sudden doctors visit though?" he asked.

"Uh, because, uhm I don't know, why so many questions Sean?" I asked as I became agitated.

"Emma I only asked one question"

"Just cool it with the interrogation alright" I grumbled.

"Fine" Sean groaned. "Need me to follow you to__"

"No" I blurted out a little too quickly. "It's, its ok. I'll be fine, later" I said in more relaxed voice. I hurriedly ran off leaving him before he could come up with any more questions.

Doctor's appointment, I'm lucky he fell for that, mom never takes me to doctors. Her greatest fear is them seeing my many bruises and assume it's a case of abuse. Would be one accurate assumption.

I began walking faster as Sean yelled my name, I pretended I couldn't hear him. I felt so deceitful but, I just couldn't let him know where I was really headed.

Sean's P.O.V:

I can't even think of her running off like that as odd. Of late I've been almost completely unable to decipher whether or not something she does is odd, she has become so random and unpredictable. Maybe she's upset about the kiss, was it too simple? Should I have gone deeper? Not with her on my bare chest like that, dressed so skimpily, in water. I could feel every curve of her body on me, I know where my emotions might have taken me and I know she definitely wouldn't want that. I couldn't let that happen. Especially now, she just seems so unstable. Then I must wonder, what's the point of us kissing anyway? There's no doubt that I don't absolutely love kissing her but, the context just isn't right. She's my friend, but, I want to be more than friends. I want her to be my girlfriend, I know there wouldn't be much of a difference. But I'd just feel more obligated to her and I'd know for sure that she's mine, and I'm hers and my overprotectiveness towards her could be justified. However suspect a relationship like that isn't necessarily something she'd want.

SIGH

Emma's P.O.V:

"They worked?"

"Yeah, I think they really did, thanks a lot"

"Anything for you kid"

"Uh what exactly was it by the way?"

"Most people call them happy pills"

"They don't have any harmful illegal drug in them right, like to make me high or anything?"

"No Emma" he chuckled. "It's just an over counter med at any pharmacy"

"Oh, do you have more?"

"Easy there young tiger, what I gave you this morning is a day's worth, you won't be needing anymore till tomorrow. Could come link me in the morning for some if you'd like"

"Why can't you just give me now?"

"Wouldn't want you to 'accidentally' overdose now would we"

"I guess. Why do you have pills like these though Derek?"

"I don't know, just a collector of odd things I guess" Derek in a partially sarcastic sort of way as we left the bus stop where I met him. We walked quietly down the street. Derek was a strange character, I don't really know him much, well at all that is but, I somehow gravitated towards him. I peeped up at him and watched as he fisted one of his hands in his jet black ear length hair. "Why did you help me out that day at that bar?" I finally managed to ask.

"You needed me"

"How can you say that? You don't even know me" I argued.

"Oh but I do Emma"

"What do you mean by that, have you stalked me or something?" I asked feeling a little insecure.

"Well, I've seen you around often, with that guy but those instances were a matter of being in the right place at the right time I guess. I'm not some f****d up stalker. You came right up to me in the bar. You told me about your messed up parents and all. You were crying and drunk I figure, I dunno. So I just decided to be a good guy, and help you out." He said stopping by a shady tree.

My memory of what exactly he and I spoke about was all fuzzy, I couldn't even remember how I even ended up talking to him. "Derek, this morning after I bumped into you and told you I was feeling down and you gave me the uh 'happy pills', which took great guts to take, you asked me to meet you here, this evening. I felt really hesitant to, because honestly I just don't know you, and I don't know what your intentions with me are and I __"

"Look, I don't want you feeling threatened by me or anything, just really needed to talk to you about something" he interjected with a slightly stern expression etched on his face. I clamped my mouth shut and listen as he continued. "I just wanted to say, I think you should report him for what he does to you. It's been bothering my conscience, knowing a sweet kid like you is being hurt this way" he said finally looking down at me grimly. I was flustered. What exactly could he possibly be talking about? I guess he could tell I was befuddled when he asked "You don't know what I'm talking about?" I shook my head as I began feeling completely distressed.

"Never mind then"

"No, no! Don't do this. I have to know what you're talking about. I literally ditched my only friend and lied to him just so I could meet you." I said just under a shout folding my arms, and looking straight up at him. "Just, forget it, I shouldn't have brought it up, later." He began to walk and I grabbed him by his arm, he instantly stopped and slowly looked around at me. His blue eyes seemed to be looking through my soul. My eyes habitually darted to looking at the ground as I released his arm. "Can you just please tell me what you're talking about?" I begged. He was silent, for some reason I didn't want to look up at him again. But the long silence drove my eyes to meet his once more. He viciously passed his fingers through his hair as our eyes met and released an exasperated breath.

"Your father ---- and ----- how he r***s you Emma"

My breathing stopped, and in that instant I was sure my heart ceased beating. I felt frozen. I was flabbergasted. I opened my mouth to speak but, the words wouldn't come out. Tears instead streamed down my cheeks, and my face felt as though it were on fire.

"No" I finally managed to say between a sob. "How do you know about that?" I asked as my voice became teary. "You told me, by the bar, I wasn't going to bring it up again but I couldn't just act as if what he does is OK and forget it" he said staring at me with a pity look that I always hate being given. "You drugged me!" I yelled. "You drugged me to get me to talk!" I screamed. There's no way I would have voluntarily told him that. "Emma that's bull, you were drunk and in tears, you just came to me and spoke your mind. Why the f**k would I drug you for that? Look, sorry for the trouble OK. All the best" he said as he shook his head and turned away from me. "Wait" I said as I cleared my muffled voice and wiped the tears from my face. "What" he seethed. "You can't tell Sean about my dad"

"Who? That guy that was on the verge of fighting me when he found you with me?"

"Yeah, you, you can't tell him"

"Why not isn't he your boyfriend or something?"

"No he isn't-I mean yes he-ugh just promise me you won't tell," I said looking him straight in the eyes now. He stared at me for a while before shaking his head.

"Fine, whatever I don't even know the kid," he mumbled, and with that he walked away from me.

He's lying I didn't tell him I would never I couldn't have...