Too Late to Realize

E 2: CASUAL

After the quiz, I couldn’t focus anymore.

Sir Mar was still talking, discussing answers like it actually mattered, but my mind wasn’t in the classroom.

It was somewhere else.

With him.

Dalton.

I gripped my pen tighter, staring at my paper without really seeing it.

Why was he here?

And why now?

He has already graduated.

Not just that—he was a three-time winner of the Men’s Category in the Valentine’s Fashion Runway.

Everyone knew that.

So why is he back?

And with Callice?

Is that even allowed?

Can a former winner join again?

Or maybe he’s not joining…

Maybe he’s just here for her.

That thought made something in my chest feel heavy.

The bell rang.

Lunch time.

Everyone started moving, talking, laughing like nothing was confusing.

But me?

I stood up with one goal.

Find Dalton.

I needed answers.

Not because I was nosy.

But because I deserved to know.

Right?

First, I checked the canteen.

Crowded. Noisy. Smelled like fried food and cheap drinks.

I scanned every corner.

Every table.

Every face.

But he wasn’t there.

Next, I went near the principal’s office.

Quiet.

Too quiet.

A few teachers were talking, but no sign of him.

Then the library.

I walked slowly between shelves, pretending to look for books.

Still nothing.

I even checked the court.

Students playing.

Some practicing for events.

But not him.

Where is he?

I felt a strange mix of relief and frustration.

Relief… because I didn’t have to face him yet.

Frustration… because I actually wanted to.

I sighed and leaned against the wall.

It’s lunch time.

After lunch, I’m free.

I can talk to him then.

I have to.

Why was he ignoring me earlier?

And why did it feel like we were strangers?

I’m not trying to be nosy…

But not everyone knows that we were—

“Excuse me?”

I gasped as someone suddenly pushed me.

I lost my balance a little.

“Hala—sorry! I didn’t mean to!” I said quickly.

I looked down and saw what happened.

I stepped on a cardboard… no, an illustration board.

Wet paint spread across it.

Watercolor.

It must’ve been part of an artwork.

My chest tightened.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t see it—”

“Of course you didn’t,” the girl said sharply.

I looked up.

She was tall.

Way taller than me.

Probably around 5’8.

I suddenly felt small.

Really small.

“I mean, why would you look, right? Seniors like you don’t care anyway,” she added, rolling her eyes.

“I said I’m sorry,” I repeated quietly.

“Next time, use your eyes. That’s why you have them,” she snapped.

Some students started looking.

Whispering.

Watching.

I lowered my head.

I didn’t want attention.

“Move. You’re annoying,” she said before pushing past me.

I stepped aside immediately.

My face felt hot.

I could feel people staring.

Some junior high students were even whispering like it was some kind of show.

Great.

I hope this doesn’t spread.

I know her.

She’s Callice’s cousin.

Grade 9.

But taller than me.

Of course.

It must run in their family.

For a second, I felt like a kid.

Like I didn’t belong here.

She’s known for being mean.

And I just got unlucky.

I exhaled slowly.

I should just leave.

I walked around a few more times.

Canteen.

Hallway.

Court.

Nothing.

No Dalton.

I checked the time.

12:36 PM.

I bit my lip.

Maybe later.

I’ll just go home first.

I live nearby anyway.

I don’t usually bring lunch.

Walking home is easier.

The road was quiet.

Familiar.

Just a few minutes away from school.

Our house is near the highway, behind the health center.

Surrounded by big houses.

Concrete gates.

Nice walls.

Neighbors who clearly have more than we do.

And then there’s our house.

Old.

Worn out.

Still the same after all these years.

Maybe even worse.

It’s been there for decades.

No renovations.

No improvements.

We can’t afford it.

My dad’s salary is just enough.

Rice.

Food.

That’s it.

Nothing extra.

I’m already in senior high school.

But my allowance is still ten pesos.

And honestly…

I don’t complain.

I’m used to this life.

This is normal for me.

Simple.

Quiet.

Limited.

But real.

I stopped in front of our house.

Staring at it for a moment.

Then I sighed.

Dalton.

Questions.

Answers.

Everything can wait.

For now.

But later…

I know I won’t stop until I find out the truth.

Alex and I ate together.

Mom was frying fish—barungoy. One each.

Simple, but I liked it.

I’ve always liked fried food.

Anything crispy feels comforting.

It reminded me of before.

Back when we used to fight over food.

Laughing. Arguing. Stealing each other’s share.

Back when everything felt light.

Happy.

I don’t know when that changed.

When did things become this quiet?

Was it when we stopped going to church every Sunday?

Now we only go when there’s an occasion.

Or maybe when we stopped praying before eating… before sleeping.

Just like how Grandma and Grandpa taught us.

They were the ones who guided us.

They were the ones who believed so much.

And when they were gone…

something slowly faded too.

Not everything.

We still believe.

I still believe.

We just don’t show it like before.

Life got busy.

Too busy.

Now there are only four of us here.

Unlike before, when relatives kept visiting.

I used to think they came because they cared.

But now I understand.

They only came when they needed something.

Now?

No one comes anymore.

Not even once.

Life feels… quiet.

Like we’re just moving forward.

Slowly.

Trying to survive.

“Sige na, anak. Go back to school. I’ll clean this,” Mom said.

“There’s still time, Ma. I’ll feed the pets first,” I replied.

“Won’t you be late?” she asked, looking at the old clock.

“No. We don’t have a teacher for first period,” I said.

“You could still study.”

“Just a minute, Ma. They’re hungry,” I said, looking at Grey, our big cat, already asking for food.

She sighed but smiled a little.

“Okay. Just leave your plate there.”

“Yes, Ma.”

She went back to the kitchen.

“Ate, I’m leaving,” Alex said.

“Be careful. Go home early later. Papa will be home early too,” I reminded him.

He nodded and left.

After feeding the pets, I grabbed my bag and walked back to school.

The buzzer rang as soon as I arrived.

1:00 PM.

Students were going back to their classrooms.

But I didn’t.

I walked toward the court.

Maybe he’s there.

I still have time.

Maybe we can talk.

Or maybe…

he already left.

His school is far.

In the city.

Did he commute?

Or did he bring his motorcycle?

I don’t know.

But I need to know.

The court was quiet.

Too quiet.

The gate was slightly open.

It made a small sound when I pushed it.

I stepped inside slowly.

Is he here?

This used to be his place.

Back when I was invisible to him.

It still hurts to think about that.

I walked further.

My footsteps echoed.

My heart felt louder than usual.

The place felt strange.

A little scary.

There were stories about this place being haunted.

I don’t really believe them.

But still…

it felt different.

Then I saw it.

A varsity jacket.

Left on the bleachers.

I walked closer.

Slowly.

Maybe it’s his.

I just need to check—

“Looking for me?”

“Ah!”

I almost jumped.

My heart raced when I felt someone touch my arm.

I closed my eyes for a second.

Then I realized.

Him.

I pushed him lightly.

He looked surprised… then smiled.

“I thought you weren’t scared,” he said. “What if someone whistles at you?”

I didn’t laugh.

I just looked at him.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

“Just forget it,” I said and walked away.

“Hey, I’m sorry. It was just a joke,” he said, following me while picking up his jacket.

Then I noticed something.

His scent.

His cologne.

It was different.

Before, it was strong.

Now, it was soft.

Almost sweet.

And somehow…

it didn’t feel like him anymore.

“Eizzel.”

He called my name.

Before I could leave the court, he stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

“I still have class,” I said, trying to stay calm.

“Really? Being a little late won’t hurt,” he replied.

I faced him.

Looked straight into his eyes.

“Why?” I asked.

“Which one?” he said.

“Earlier. You and Callice?”

He paused.

Then I spoke again, softer this time.

“That’s not what I meant… Why are you here?”

He nodded slowly, like he understood everything I didn’t say.

“To see you. Of course.”

He smiled and reached for my hand.

I pulled it away.

“You know what, Dalton… I loved you even before this. But you’re a liar.”

He shook his head and tried to hold my hand again.

“Just stay there… please,” I said.

He sighed.

“That’s the truth, Eizzel. I came here for you. We don’t even see each other that often—”

“Exactly,” I cut him off. “That’s my point. You barely make time for me. You don’t even want me visiting your school… so why here? And now you’re joining this?”

I crossed my arms.

“I thought that wasn’t allowed.”

He glanced around, checking if anyone was nearby.

Then he looked back at me.

“Relax, okay? Yeah… it’s against the rules. But I had no choice.”

His voice softened.

“I’ll explain everything. Just… calm down. Please, for me.”

He pointed at the edge of the bleachers.

“Let’s sit first.”

I walked ahead.

He followed.

I sat down, leaving a space between us.

He noticed it.

And he respected it.

Then he started.

“At first… I really wanted to see you. That’s true. I didn’t plan on coming here like this. But two weeks ago, I had a problem with my scholarship.”

I stayed quiet.

“You know I’m an athlete. It’s hard if I lose that. The sponsor said they might stop it.”

“So you’re struggling?” I said. “Why not ask your mom? You still can—”

His expression changed.

“Don’t start, Eizzel.”

I sighed.

“I know you don’t like her, but she still wants to help you—”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said firmly. “I’ll do anything… just not that. I won’t go to her.”

He looked away.

And somehow…

I understood.

“So what happened?” I asked quietly.

“Let me explain,” he said. “One of the coaches offered to help me. Of course, I accepted. I didn’t have a choice.”

He paused.

“Then I found out… Callice is his niece.”

I didn’t say anything.

“He didn’t ask much from me. Just this. To join the event… and be her partner. The other guy backed out.”

He looked at me.

“I know former winners aren’t allowed anymore. But this is the only way I can return the favor.”

He shook his head.

“He’s helping me because he’s kind. Not because I want to be with her.”

His voice was serious now.

“You know I’ve changed, Eizzel. I’m trying to focus—”

“For how long?” I asked.

He looked at me.

“Just 15 days. After that… it’s over. I won’t do this again.”

Then he added softly,

“You won’t stop me… right? I mean… you’re okay with this? Even just for me?”

He held my hand.

I didn’t even notice when he did.

For him?

Really?

But still…

I didn’t pull away.

Because I loved him.

I’ve loved him for a long time.

And maybe…

I still do.

I sighed.

“Okay… I understand.”

His face softened.

“I knew you would. That’s why I love you, Eizzel. No one else makes me feel like this.”

He smiled.

And for a moment…

he looked like everything I ever wanted.

“You won’t lose me…” he whispered softly.

Then he smiled a little.

“You won’t lose me, darling.”

My heart paused for a second.

“Me and Callice… it’s just for the event,” he continued. “It’s all planned.”

He looked straight into my eyes like he wanted me to believe every word.

“It’s temporary.”

“Just casual.”

Casual.

That word stayed in my mind.

Soft.

Simple.

But somehow… it didn’t feel that way.

Still, I smiled.

Just a little.

Because maybe…

Just maybe…

He really does love me.

Even if…

I love him more.