The Anonymous Trailer

Customer “Good morning, Sir! Welcome to Delmon King!” I greeted my first customer. A young teenager, the same age as mine. Loose necktie, unbuttoned polo shirt, and...messy hair. I know judging someone by their looks is mean but...it gives you an idea of what kind of a person someone is. He got two Lay’s in his left hand and a can of coke in his right hand. He put his order quietly and put both his hands in his pocket. How can I see your trailer if you’re playing hide-and-seek? I said playfully in my head. After putting his order in a paper bag, he gets his leather wallet and this is the most important part. Money? Nah. Tip? Pfft. In a small convenient store? Seriously? The pulse. The pulse is one of the significant parts of the human body. The continuously beating, the warm ref fluid running through our veins, and… the signal if you are dead or alive. As I get the money, I simply touch his pulse using my fingertips. And smiled widely, letting myself succumb in the dark...without knowing if he’s a good or bad person. “Just listen, okay?” “What’s with you and poetry, jake?” My best friend said with a weird smile on her face. She shook her head and make a serious face. “Poetry is a masterpiece, Zein. It can touch your untouched body and soul.” I said proudly. My best friend just rolls her eyes. “You mean, poetry can f**k me?” “Ugh. Stop being annoying, come on.” I gently slap her arm and unfold the brown paper where I write my emotions. My feelings for her. “The title of this poem is...Be yours,” My heart is beating so loudly, Can’t wait to say these words to her and somehow feel relieved, waiting is finally over. She looks at me under her thick lashes and her lips are smiling. I can tell that she’s waiting… I hope she can get the hint… “Empty and tainted heart. Mind that full of unnecessary books. Figure body. Soulless soul. Between land and moon, I want to be held as much as your moonlight. Feel the light. Feel the heights. I’m your darkness and you are my thunder, striking a voltage inside of my heart. Stay because I want to be loved than to be alive.” The trailer gets blurry, I can barely hear what they’re saying. Am I moving to the next scene? Ugh. Come on! I want to know his best friend’s answer! Nature can give me ideas about what to write today. While writing, I can hear the leaves touching one another. The choir of birds. I looked up and saw how slowly the clouds move. “Jake!” I stopped writing and flash a smile when I saw her walking while her brown wavy hair dancing in the rhythm of the wind. “Hey,” I put my pen down and give her my full attention. “New poem?” I give her a nod and trying not to lose on her beautiful orbs. “You want me to read it?” “If it’s not too much to ask, why not?” She sat closely and I can’t help to smell her favorite perfume. “Ready?” I asked while unfolding the paper. She nodded while her eyebrows almost meet in the middle. “Why do you always fold the paper? Is that necessary?” She curiously asked. “I-I don’t know…” I stare at her brown orbs blankly, finding the right words to explain the reason. “Never mind, I love seeing you do what makes you happy. It’s like --” She raised her hands and draw in the air. “You are in another world and while reading it in front of me? I feel like I’m also in another world.” She said with full of amusement in her eyes. I bit my lower lip to suppress a smile. I just nodded while looking away, I feel like my cheeks are burning. God, you made more than poetry. “Come on! Read it. Your words can change my mood.” I completely stop moving and look at her. “Are you okay?” She takes a deep breath and puts her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m going to do after Mom divorced Dad. I love them both...it’s just...You knew that he’s my inspiration why I like to be a lawyer, right? He’s my defender since day one. And seeing our house without him makes me stop pursuing my dreams.” Zein loves her dad more than anyone. Honestly, no one can compete with her father’s love and affection, not me or her ex-boyfriend. She adores his father and I love seeing her motivated because of it. “Mom won’t allow me to see him...damn her.” She kicked the rock and I can feel that she’s going to cry. Without asking permission, I start reading my poem. “Legion of stars My shadow told me that giving up is the easiest thing to do. M unheard thought told me to sit and do nothing. My limbs are having a hard time moving. My bones are slowly melting. My heart can feel my own emptiness. I want to disappear. My presence wants to perish. Until someone told me: ‘Those person who has a little courage are the bravest one.’” I heard her sobbed, clenching her hands into a fist. Her tears touched my arm, slowly touching my heart. “Hush now, Zein,” I whispered as I held her into my arms. “I m-missed him.” “I know. He probably missed you too.” I held her for minutes and I think I can do this all day. Zein in my arms. The girl in my arms. The woman I want to experience life with. Cloudy. Here we go again! A smokey and mist air hinder my eyesight to see things clearly. Is that the end of the trailer? Come on, where’s the happy ending there? “Here’s your change, Sir.” I smiled at him as nothing happened. “Can I have a straw?” I furrowed my eyebrow, confused. “Uh...I’d like to drink my --” “Oh! Yes, of course. Sorry.” Where’s the straw? Damn it. He’s a Charis, a person who is full of love and hope. A loving-kindness. While busy finding the damn straw, I heard the sound of the wind chime. Another customer. Another trailer. “There you are,” I get the transparent straw and as I stand up, I saw a familiar face. No way! Is this even possible? Zein, it’s her! From his trailer, his future girl. “I’m sorry, I just thought you’re one of my block mates. You-- you have the same bag.” She stutters while fixing her hair. “N-no, it’s fine.” I don’t know what happened but I can sense that this is the starting point of their love st-- their story. I don’t want to conclude when I only know Jake’s side. “Excuse me, Sir. Here is your straw.” “Thank you.” He said and give a last glance to her best friend. As she starts searching for what food she will buy, another customer came. Fat and bulky man. His left arm is full of tattoos. Faces and some words are written in other languages. I can see his gross stomach because of the small and dirty like-rug-shirt. If my life was a movie, he’s the typical bad guy who kills not just human-being. Scary. Serial killer. Rapist. That’s what he looks like. He gets three beers on his right arm and he walks towards where I am. I always think and consider every reason; What kind of creature is he? Is he a good person or the bad one? What is the reason for their death? What is their inspiration to live and love? My mind is having a hard time making a decision. Should I touch his pulse or not? Why someone invented the word curiosity? Why make such a thing that will kill you? “I have a car, you don’t have to put it in the paper bag.” What a cocky attitude. Still, I smiled while counting his money. I caught in my peripheral vision that Zein is holding two cans of soda. Should I watch his trailer? Gore and dark-themed trailers make me have a nightmare. As I give to him the three beers but before I touch his pulse, he called my name. “Galene,” Reading my name tag pinning in my uniform. “Yes, Sir?” I smiled even though I’m nervous as hell! “I am new here, are you open till midnight?” Phew. “Yes, Sir. We’re open, 24 hours.” “Thank you.” He said politely. He walked outside and I was just standing and staring at him. My curiosity makes me more frustrated. I really want to know his trailer but I’m scared it give me a nightmare. Next in the line, Zein. “Good morning, Ma’am.” I greet her full of sunshine. “Having a good day?” She’s friendly. “Yup. I got 8 hours of sleep.” She laughed while getting her phone in her bag. “That’s good.” “And healthy,” I added. She put her phone in her ear excitedly and talk with someone. “Hey, Dad,” Oh. Her beloved defender. It’s just one word. How can a short, three-letter word hurt me? Bring back the pain and longing. I control my smile. Hiding the true feelings. You should smile. He can see you, Gal. “I’m fine. We’re having a meeting after lunch. How ‘bout you? Are you with Mom?” Her smile vanished and her hands seem don’t know what to do. “Oh. Well, Mom said last night –” What’s wrong, Zein? “Y-yeah. I understand…” She takes a deep breath and blows it through her mouth…slowly as if she’s calming herself. “Sure. Bye. I love you too, Dad.” I put the two cans of soda inside of a small paper bag and smiled at her. “Having a bad day?” I asked while waiting for her cash. “Well, I think it’s normal to have a bad day, right?” “You’re right. You should try to read…some poetry.” Nice antics, you s-cupid. “That’s out of nowhere.” She amusedly grinned. “I heard it’s healthy.” “Says who?” His trailer? “Grannies at the street?” We both laughed and as I get the money. I gently touch her pulse at the same time, wishing that she could end up with Jake. Jake is a good catch. And you’ll be the luckiest girl. Your future is rest-assured now. As the darkness makes me blind, I heard Zein and Jake talking loudly. “No way!” Jake said and put my phone where I can’t get it. “You freak monster,” I said in annoyance.”Give me my phone back. Now.” “Oh. Now you’re mad. Who’s that guy you’re talking to?” “None of your f*****g business, Jake!” I rolled my eyes at him, he then shook his head. What’s wrong with this guy? He called me to come over to his condo to what? Pissed me off? “I’m your best friend, we’re supposed to share—” “I don’t want to.” “And the reason is?” “You’re gonna jinx it,” I said, tired of denying it. He takes a pause and I saw sadness in his eyes. Or I’m just imagining things? “The one we saw in the pub?” He reached the top of the cabinet to get my phone. “Yup. I’m going to blame you once –” “Here,” I don’t know what’s with the atmosphere and the feeling that he’s mad at me. “Take it easy, okay?” “You don’t like him for me, do you?” He smirked. “It’s your choice and you always choose what makes you happy.” He avoids his eyes and sits at his table. “Oh come on! John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” I pulled his arms and sat beside him. “Can you tell me the truth? He’s cute, everyone could fall in love with him! I know he’s…a kinda—” “Jerk?” “Oh come on!” “Bad guy attracts good girl, huh?” “Who says I’m a good girl?” “Your father.” I slapped his arm and crossed my arms. “I know you are just concern and you love me and I…truly, deeply appreciate that. I’m so lucky to have you and I wish you were there to my next chapter where I’m enjoying listening to your poem.” He looked at me. I look like dumb but kept on smiling at him. His eyes travel to my eyes from my lips. I didn’t notice that his hand putting some of my hair strands behind my ear. “I’d love to be in your next chapter too.” “Now, that’s my best friend.” I hugged him so tight and shrieked when my phone beeped. No…No… She did not end up with…Jake? Wearing a navy blue suit while holding a pink box with a silver ribbon. My best friend standing in front of me with teary eyes and a genuine smile. “Thank you for being here, Jake. You don’t know how you completely made happy this day for me.” I hug him and he hugged me back. “I’m not gonna miss it. Mrs. Stanner.” “I’ve missed you.” I can feel his deep sigh before his answer. “Yeah. Me too.” After graduation and finding a job we barely hang out and see each other. We’re busy working and find a good sleep. It’s been two years since I last saw him. I wonder what happened to him in those years. “Here’s my gift.” “Thank you, Jake. Thank you so much.” I gladly said while observing his gift. “Uh…” I stare at him. “I’m not going to stay for the rest of the night. I have to run some errand.” I am aware that my smile turned into a sad smile. “Can you –” “I’m sorry, Zein. The manager has been scolding all day, till my dreams.” While he cracked a joke, I pouted and punched his chest. “We’re going to see each other after this, right?” “Come on! Don’t talk as if someone is dying.” He lightly punches my arm. “Sure. If we have time to spare since…you’re busy being a lawyer and building a new family.” I rolled my eyes at him that makes him laugh. “Find a girl and marry her! And let our son and daughter fall in love with each other.” “What? Stop being a stupid cupid, will you?” “Tss. At least we’re not going to worry about their future.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Congratulations, Zein. I can’t believe I was there, sitting and became lachrymose and had to hold in my own tears.” I can feel my tears and can’t help to hug him again. “God, you are so beautiful,” I cried while I have a smile painted on my face. “He should take care of you or else…” “Or else what? You’re going to write a poem about him being a jerk?” “More than that, Zein.” He holds my arms and stares at me for a minute. “I got a project in Dubai. I’m afraid we’re going to see each other after a year.” I gasped and clapped my hands. “You got the project?! Oh my god! I am so happy for you!” “Thank you.” “Well. We have a phone and internet. We can still talk, come on! Have time for your best friend.” “I will.” He said while nodding. He says his goodbye and after a few steps, he turned around. “Read my poem without me, Zein.” “You wrote a poem?” “About you.” “About me?” He didn’t answer but waved his hand. Before deciding if I’m going to open his gift and take a quick glance at the people who celebrate the new chapter of my life. My husband who’s talking to my parents and his parents are busy looking at the whole place. I slowly open the gift and I feel happiness and a wave of nostalgia when I saw a silver frame, his shy smile, and my cheeky smile. Oh my! When did we take this photo? I unfold the sky blue paper and read the title first. “Separating Knots…” “You are really good at words, Jake,” I whisper to myself. Praising my best friend...the way he expresses every undiscovered feeling and emotion. I adore him so much. I’m gonna lie if I say, I don’t see myself with him doing cheesy and corny stuff. I imagined myself loving him more than a friend..it’s just...He’s my friend, I don’t want to lose him. I’m afraid to go beyond the love of our bond. I remember the old days where he read the poem and I listened to him. God, that’s rare happiness, isn’t it? “You glow under the depths of my darkness. You broke my heart but here I am keep on holding you so tightly. How could you make me feel more than one but never feel confused? How could I carry this love with you walking in a different path?” I stopped reading because I find it weird. Is he sure that this poem is about…me? Why would he write a poem like…this? It makes me feel sad and…How am I supposed to name this unfamiliar feeling? “Hey, are you okay? Why are crying?” I quickly wipe the tears and look at the paper confusedly. “I-I’m fine. Wow, how stupid of me! I didn’t notice—” “Another poem from your best friend?” He asked and I can sense the sarcasm in the last two words. “It’s Jake.” He snatched the paper before I could stop him. My husband read the poem of my best friend. “Silence, between us, Suffer our hearts in pain. And my soul is in agony, Then your eyes start to leave me like I’m vain. My tears fell down begging you to stay, My mind gets drown and thoughts of you start to play.” My husband read the poem and smiled at me. Who would have thought that this jerk is my husband? “He likes you.” “Huh? What do you mean?” “In a romantic way. Thank God, I’m not a coward like him.” “Seth! That’s not good humor!” I said and steal the paper from his hand. “It’s not a joke. I am a guy, a man, believe me, he likes you more than a best friend.” I stare blankly at the paper. I heard him say something but my attention caught by my best friend’s words and…emotions. We’ve been friends for more than eight years…how come I didn’t know these…poems. Those poems he wrote…the sunsets, the songs…is that all about…me? The warmness is slowly fading. The beating of her pulse is in her control now. I can feel my feet on the ground and my vision came back. “I will take note about that.” “Huh?” “I mean, the poetry…” “Oh…” I smiled sadly and tried to get the negative thought out of my mind. “It’s just a joke, you know. Don’t be serious about it.” “Well, it’s not bad to try. I’m into reading but poems…not sure, I find it boring.” “Me too.” I agree with her. “Thank you!” “Come again, Ma’am.” “We’re the same age, call me Zein…” Her eyes travel downwards, reading my name tag. “Galene.” “Gal for short.” “Yeah. Have a nice day ahead, Gal!” This is the first time I encounter two people who at the same time known each other in the future. Why can two people fall in love with each other at the right time? I’m wondering if there’s a formula to find the right one for you. Like Jake, she’s also a Charis. How come the two Charis hurt each other, give scars and wound. I thought kindness is the most beautiful personality of human-being. Ah, right. I hate this feeling. I should stop thinking about the ‘why’s and how’s’ of other people because I have no control over it. I can’t control them though I can see their trailer. Trailer of their life. Who says I like this kind of ability? And I don’t know why I have this kind of ability. I just woke up and see someone’s trailer that I can’t remember the face.