I did not meet Marcus for dinner for several days. I was too frustrated. That war within myself was struggling like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. A part of me is being logical telling me to trust my instincts and no one else in order to find a way out of here. Lie, trick, delude, and continue whatever ruse I have to in order to get out of this place because it is too dangerous to think of remaining. Another side of me, far deeper than the logic, wants me to give in and spend every second that I can locked in a room alone with Marcus fulfilling every desire I have for him.
I do not trust myself to be around that man at all. And I hate to admit it but I don’t have a response of what to say to him. I have slept with him now, and that is something that he will probably assume would continue.
