Say I do

chapter 14

The sun today was hidden behind some clouds and Lia wondered if it was a sign either for herself or for Ben. Today would be the day that she confessed herself to him and something would happen.

When she first came home, she thought that Tiff and her would come and crash Ben's wedding in a way. But being here, she realized that she didn't want to come and break a wedding, if anything she just wanted him to know how she felt.

It would be a plus if maybe he reciprocated, but watching the way Ben interacted with his fiancee and other than the usual stress that came with having a wedding, they were happy together from what she could see. Who was she to try and come between that.

Jonny definitely voiced his concern but he was thinking in the sense that she was going to become the home wrecker. She highly doubted that.

She was sitting in a chair where she was getting her hair done and she thought about one of the groomsmen. Jonny. After she was busted two days ago by her parents who caught her making out with Jonny in his car, her mother didn't say anything nor did her dad. If anything her dad asked her, "So you two are together?" Asking her in a way that she wondered if he was just reaffirming.

Lia told her dad that they weren't and he made a grunting sound before he walked away. Her mother just smiled at her and winked before she walked off right after her dad.

She remembered that she was an adult, so she was free to make out or kiss whomever she wanted and didn't need her parent's permission to do so. But it was in her parent's driveway so if they wanted to be mad, it could be because it was in their home.

It still didn't change the fact that she had s*x with Jonny in the back patio.

Her face felt warm and she wondered if it had anything to do with the people bustling in and out of the hotel room and she watched as Felis had two meltdowns, vomited twice almost three times and she was promising the wedding was not happening and she wasn't walking down the aisle to marry Ben. It was six in the morning and she was the first one to get herself done.

For bridezilla to be going off this early in the morning, she needed coffee with a shot of liquor. Felis came by to see how her makeup and hair was going and she okay'ed it, but also asking for more of a lighter pink eye shadow be placed on Lia's lid.

Lia watched with one eye as Felis was examining the make up artist's work and she was up close to her. Before Lia could stop herself from the scrutiny of the bride, she asked, "You love him don't you?" She almost wanted to slap herself from letting that slip but what has been asked has been asked.

Felis looked at her with uncertainty as if the question had thrown her off as well but then she said, "Yes. Yes I do." That was all the confirmation needed because she remembered when she was just like Felis. She was in love with Ben, had been ever since they became friends. It just so happened that they didn't live so far away from each other and she just fell in love with him.

She already felt that there was no way that she could break the two of them, they just simply loved each other which is why she couldn't see herself coming in between them. She made her resolution.

While the other girls were starting to get ready, it was already ten and the wedding was supposed to be starting at noon. Lia was ready and she was picking at fruit and a waffle that the hotel provided as part of their breakfast plan. Tiff was in an out of the room as well, so was her mom who took pictures after pictures of them as if they were going to prom all over again.

Mrs. Kellar was watching Felis with a look in her eyes that Lia could only describe as joy. Her youngest son was getting married today after all.

Lia's phone vibrated with a text and she was surprised to see the name that popped up. Ben. She opened the message thinking he might be asking for a photo of his bride and she was going to tell him no. Instead what she read was, Meet me out back. I don't know if I can do this.

She left the room with an excuse but everyone was way too busy anyways to hear her so she figured maybe he was having cold feet.

Down in the back of the hotel where there was an extensive garden, she found Ben in sweats and a t-shirt. Basically his pajamas. "Why aren't you getting dressed?" She hissed at him making sure her dress wasn't going to get dirty. He was pacing like a man who was nervous. "I don't know if I can do this Lia." He said stopping in front of her and a panic in his eyes.

"You mean get married?" She asked. He nodded at her and she asked him," Right now? Why do this now when you're wedding is in less than a few hours." He was nervous from what she could see and she had only seen Ben like this when he was about to commit to big things, like past girlfriends. But shouldn't he have done this when he first proposed to his soon-to-be bride?

"Alright calm down." She told him and he stopped to look at her. "Explain to me."

He started to pace again and Lia decided not to watch him because she may vomit from nausea just watching him back and forth. "I'm not sure if I can go through with this. I'm not sure if I love her to want to marry her" He stated and Lia stared with an open jaw that if it could go any farther, it would have fell to the ground.

"Felicity is pregnant and her parents wanted us to be married before the child is born. But I'm not sure if I love her that much. I have feelings for you." He stopped and looked at her.

Lia looked at him with wide eyes. He dropped two major bombs on her and she needed a minute or ten for her brain to process everything. Tiff was right and Felicity was pregnant. The girl's parents were having them have a shotgun wedding. And Ben just said that he had feelings for Lia. Holy s**t.

"Whoa there." She told him, "You can't just tell me two big things. First, You don't love Felicity?"

He shook his head, "I'm not sure."

Lia rubbed her temple, her fingers pressing into her head. She closed her eyes and then opened them and stared at Ben. He watched her with his brown eyes and this was the man that she was in love with. And he just confessed to her. The groom who was supposed to be at the top of the aisle today. The man who was expecting a child with his fiancee. "What do you mean you're not sure. You do or you don't."

He walked closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I've had feelings for you ever since school, but I was too scared to say anything. And Jonny likes you. I felt that it was wrong for me to say anything but being home made me realize that I still love you."

Lia licked her lips. Wasn't this what she wanted? To convey her feelings to Ben but it seemed he beat her to it. She wanted this right? "Jonny likes me?"

Ben scoffed. Dropping his hands to his side. "Yeah, he's liked you ever since we were kids. Ever since you kicked him off his bike. Look, if you said that you loved me back, if you still do I would leave Felicity right now." He grabbed her hand and held it in front of them. "So tell me."

Her brain was spinning and turning in different directions. Ben loved her and she was supposed to answer him. "You can't. You can't leave the mother of your child like that. Do you not love her?"

"I have stronger feelings for you."

Lia felt her chest hurt and she wasn't sure why. She loved Ben, she loved him for so long but, but was she going to feel responsible for breaking the two of them. At her hesitation, his hand went up her arm and stopped at her chin. He held her face as he moved in closer and she realized that he was about to kiss her.

Instead of stopping him, she let him move forward and they kissed. It would be their first kiss and Lia put her hands on his shoulders. She felt his soft lips against hers and she felt...nothing. The first thought that came to her mind was Jonny. Ben's kiss was nothing like Jonny's kiss that made her lose her strength and will to stand up straight. Holding harder onto Ben, he took the initiative to deepen the kiss but she felt not a thing.

She pulled away from Ben and touched her lips. He looked at her with a confusion and question on his face. "Marry her." Lia told him.

His face held a mixture of hurt and resolution. He stepped back and put his hands into the pockets of his sweats. "It's Jonny isn't it?"

At Lia's questioning look and the way that she was getting to tell him otherwise, he said to her, "My brother has liked you for awhile. It's not a question because the way I say his name and you're ready to lie to me. I know you Lia, we are best friends after all. I know your habits. When did this happen?" He asked her.

When did it happen was really the question she wanted to find out herself. "I'm not sure." She told him and it might have been the last two weeks or it might have been there always. Jonny wasn't the kid that she remembered him to be. The one who teased her, but he also fought any boy who hurt her. Telling something along the lines of him only being the one to bully her.

He also helped her get through any break ups that she had along with Ben. Jonny, a much as she didn't want to admit it was a friend to her as well. Did she not hate him as much as she thought she did? The answer she knew lingered inside of her chest and head. Ben had said that his brother liked her and she wondered if that was still true.

"I guess I can't say that I'm not jealous of my brother but thank you Lia." Ben told her and she watched him. "So what are you going to do?"