Black Roses

Chapter 15

Bridget opened a glass bottle of cocktail olives and popped one into her mouth. Her thumb jammed the buttons on the remote control to change the channels on the TV. Nothing good was on TV until she got to a channel where it was showing 'Sleepers'. She was about to pick up the phone to call Jordan when the phone rang, making her jump slightly.

'Hello?'

'Bridget Cohen?' The voice was unfamiliar.

'This is she. May I know who's on the other line?'

'I'm Adrian Donovan. I uh…I recovered your boyfriend's handphone from the car crash. He had this number on speed dial.'

The words boyfriend and car crash got to her.

'His name is…Logan Cohen, right?'

Her heart skipped a beat. 'Is he okay?'

'I called to tell you that he's in the hospital right now. Um…Mercy Hospital near Harvard.'

Bridget thanked the man and rushed out of the apartment, her bottle of cocktail olives crashed to floor, the green oval fruits rolling on the ground.

'Logan Cohen please? I'm his sister.'

The nurse behind the counter couldn't have cared less if she was the patient's mother as she gave her the directions to the ICU in a monotonous voice. Bridget thanked the nurse and rushed towards the ICU. The hospital was almost empty save a couple of kids running around and an elderly man asking them to sit down.

A doctor came out of the ICU doors and Bridget launched herself on him. 'How is Logan? Where is he?' she asked in a rush. The doctor looked pained as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

'How are you related to the d—patient?' the doctor's voice was patronising and gentle. She hated him already.

'I'm his sister.'

'I'm so sorry Miss Cohen—'

'Mrs Rivers. I'm married.'

'Yes, Mrs Rivers.' The condescending tone the doctor was putting on infuriated her. 'I'm so sorry to inform you that your bother passed away during the operation.'

Bridget's knees gave way and she could have fallen if not for the doctor's strong grip.

Oh…God. Logan…

The tears rushed down silently as she was guided to the plastic seats where she curled herself up in a ball. She didn't know if the doctor was still there or not, all she could care to do was cry.

Her brother, her saviour, her Hercules. He was gone. She didn't even know what happened. She didn't know how it happened.

Every memory of them together rushed through her mind, leaving her breathless with tears. She remembered the time when she was six and Logan was ten. They were skating in a park when Bridget went a bit further uphill, almost going into the road when Logan pulled her just in time for a motorbike to zoom past them hurriedly. They rolled down the hill, Bridget landing on Logan. He didn't scold her for that instead, hugging her tightly and never letting go of her hand as they skated more in the park.

They couldn't have that anymore. She regretted every single time she was angry with him. Like once, they went for a whole month not talking to each other when she was twelve. They devised prank upon prank on each other but not once did they talk until their Uncle Micah demanded them to stop with everything. She remembered feeling so angry during that period but so upset because Logan didn't even attempt to apologise like he always did.

As she cried harder over times lost, her cell phone rang in her jean pocket. She picked it up to hear Devon's voice on the other line.

'Where are you?' he asked.

'Hospital,' she managed to choke out through her sobs.

'Which one?'

'Only one here.' She said. She didn't have the energy to hold the phone up anymore so she clicked the red button to end the call and let her hand go, simultaneously dropping the phone with a clatter. She couldn't care anymore. She couldn't believe she had lost her brother. She then remembered one promise he had made to her when she was seven.

Flashback

'Bridget, come here.' Logan called out to his little sister who averted her eyes from the TV. Barney and friends were singing the 'I love you' song.

'Yeah?' she crawled to where he was sitting. He took her hand in his and smiled. 'I need to make a promise to you.'

Seven year old Bridget nodded with a smile up at her brother.

'If anything were to happen to you, you know that I'll always be here for you, right?'

The smile on the little girl widened as she nodded.

'You know that I'd do anything for you…right?'

'Yeah, Herc.'

Logan pulled her into a hug and whispered. 'I'd die for you, Bee.'

'I would too, Logan. I would too.'

End of Flashback

He had kept to his words throughout their whole lives. And how did she repay him? By being such a jerk every time he did something she didn't like. By distancing herself from him when he made her angry. She was a bad sister. She should be on that bed right now, dead, instead of Logan. But what had caused his death? She didn't know if she'd ever acquire that answer. Maybe it was a drunken asshole who couldn't see straight. Maybe he took a wrong turn and another driver came up and crashed into him. Anything just as long as he didn't die because of her. Not because he was looking for Chris, just like he had promised when he came the other night. Not because of her. Anything but that.

But she knew in her heart that it was exactly because of her that he was dead now. His death was her fault. If she had just listened to Logan and her dad to leave Chris, this wouldn't have happened. Sure she would have been angry but at least Logan would still be alive, berating her for not studying hard or not working hard enough.

His death was of no purpose. Chris wasn't hurt nor has he been found.

What was funny was that at the moment, she still wondered if Chris was okay. Shouldn't she be blaming him too?

She looked down to find her phone on the floor, miraculously still in one piece. She picked it up and dialled Chris number.

'Hello?'

'Chris?'

'Bridget?'

'Come back.'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'I'm…I'm at your old apartment.'

'Come back home, Chris. Please.'

'Are you at home right now, Bridge?'

She sniffled and wiped her eyes which were hurting then.

Devon and Ethan arrived as she was just about to answer Chris.

'What happened, Bridget?' Ethan asked, his voice and eyes telling her exactly how worried he was.

'Bridget, where are you?'

'I'm at Mercy Hospital. Logan's gone…' her words were a whisper as she yet again released her phone from her weak grip.

The twins heard what she had said and were in shock. 'Logan…Logan's dead?' one of them asked.

Bridget closed her eyes, willing everything to be just an awful dream. Her brains had turned to mush and nothing was computing anymore. The tears had stopped but her heart was still beating hard and fast, making her inhale deeply before releasing. The sound of her brothers' concerned voices wafted in and out of her hearing. She could make out that their lips were moving but she couldn't make out what they were saying.

She didn't know how long she stayed in the position she was in; cradled in Ethan's arms, rocked back and forth, but she knew that when she saw Chris approaching, her muscles relaxed and a smile formed on her lips.

She had just proven to people around her that she really couldn't survive a day without her husband. She needed him more than ever now.

When he scooped her up, her head rolled on to rest on his chest.

'I'm sorry, Bridget. I should have talked things through with you instead of just being upset over something so small. And I'm sorry for Logan…I'm so sorry, Bridget.'

Bridget's arms automatically wound itself around his neck.

'Just don't do this again, okay?' After hearing a chuckle, Bridget smiled a little.

When they arrived home, Chris put a sleeping Bridget into bed and went out to find the rest of the Cohen brothers and also Jeremy in his living room. None of them had a smile on their faces, not even the twins. He invited them all to sit down as he brewed some tea in the kitchen. No one said a word as Chris passed the steaming cup of tea to them all. He sat down opposite Devon who had his head in his hands. Neither men knew how long a time had passed but Anthony was the one who broke the silence.

'We have to tell dad soon and have Logan buried.'

Devon's body shook. Ethan placed a hand on his twin's back and the shaking worsened. Chris looked away, not comfortable seeing someone break down in front of him.

'We need to get this over with.' Jordan nodded in agreement.

Three weeks later, Jeffrey was yet again confronted with the man who stole his daughter away. He didn't care that it was Logan's funeral. He needed to straighten things out.

Pulling Chris by the arms out of the church, his frown deepened. He pushed Chris to a pillar.

'What do you think you're doing here? The messages I sent to you weren't enough?'

Chris flexed his back, wincing a bit at the pain. 'So it was you.'

'Who do you think it was,' Jeffrey snarled. 'The Easter Bunny? Stay away from my daughter's life.'

The bark of laughter that came from Chris enraged Jeffrey even more, which caused the older man to drive his fist into the blond-haired man's face. A few steps back caused Chris to stumble down the four stepped stairs leading to the church door. Chris coughed out blood as he hastily tried to stand up but the fall had stunted his reflexes and he fell down again from the dizziness.

'I said stay away.' Jeffrey said, walking back into the church and closing the door on Chris.

Four months passed and Jeffrey had accepted the fact that the baby growing in his daughter's belly was the child of the man he had successfully run out of his daughter's life. That did not mean Bridget accepted her father so easily into her life either. It also didn't mean that she had to tell him that it wasn't just one baby in her. Although she was glad that she now had her whole family with her in the time of need. She was due anytime now so she needed all the support she could get.

With the arrival of Jeffrey back into Bridget's life, Mark and Lizzie's wedding turned out just the way they had planned it. Bridget's speech for both of them touched everyone and she had almost all of them in tears by the time she finished. Lizzie felt eternally grateful for Bridget's eloquence that night and didn't stop thanking her even when the night was over. Mark wasn't any different either.

That night, Bridget went home alone and as she passed the kitchen, she detoured to the fridge and unearthed a tub of Ben and Jerry's New York Fudge. The familiarity of the brand brought tears to her eyes. She slid down the fridge to sit on the floor. The tub in her hand rolled away from her as she sobbed, touching her large belly.

Flashback

'Peace offering…' Chris closed the bedroom door and switched the lights on, revealing Bridget with a frown on her face. A tiny smile surfaced when she saw what he was holding but she changed it back into a frown immediately.

'I found someone else.' She said, glaring at her husband.

Chris' apologetic smile dropped.

'Their names are Ben and Jerry. Now, gimme it.' She stretched her hands out and the smile came back as he jumped on the bed and flicked the lid off the tub of Ben and Jerry's New York Fudge ice cream before feeding a smiling Bridget.

End of Flashback

She wiped away her tears as she crawled to take the tub back. She blindly groped in the drawers for a spoon when she came out victorious, she fed herself as tears slid down her flushed cheeks.

I miss you, Chris…where are you? I want you back…

--

The contractions were coming so close that Bridget's eyes were blinded by the pain. She didn't even know whose hands she was gripping but she knew the person would lose all feeling in their fingers once she was done.

'Okay…who's the father?' she heard a woman's voice asked.

'He's not here…I'll accompany her. She's my sister.' A relatively familiar voice said, strained. Bridget guessed this was the person she was holding on to.

The stretcher trolley she was in stopped moving and tinny clangs were heard.

'How is her dilation?' the same woman's voice was heard again and Bridget took shallow breaths to numb the pain. ‘Eight centimeters. She's ready, Dr. Hamilton.'

Bridget was propped up and her feet were put up on the bed. She couldn't believe it. She was really going to give birth. 'We want you to push for us, Bridget.' The voice was soothing enough for her to follow the instruction but not enough to calm her erratic heartbeat.

After several agonising pushing and gripping, the news that a head was pushing out gave Bridget a sense of achievement. It empowered her tired body and mind to push harder and harder until the whole baby popped out into the doctor's arms. 'Cut the umbilical cord, we need to get the other one out immediately. There seems to be a complication with this one.'

The words scared Bridget into a momentary shock.

'The other one? Complication? What are you talking about?' Jordan was the one attached to her hand and he winced at his white hands.

No one answered his question as the doctor asked Bridget to push again. She didn't at first but after some gentle coaxing by the doctor, Bridget started pushing again. This one hurt even more than the first one. No sound came out when Bridget stopped pushing and she panicked. 'What's wrong with my baby?' she asked in a hoarse whisper.

'Take him to the infirmary. Bridget, don't move. You're losing too much blood as it is.'

Bridget stopped struggling as darkness engulfed her.

'She's waking up.'

Her eyes landed on the same shade of green eyes and slowly she blinked into consciousness.

'Jeez Bridge…you going to make a tradition of this?' Anthony laughed as he hugged her gently. 'One hospital visit, whole family.'

Instinctively, Bridget's eyes scanned around the room and saw her best friend and his wife, her twin brothers, Jordan and his wife, Jeremy and…no Logan. No dad either.

With her eyes closed, she breathed in deeply before exhaling silently. Tears streamed down her face, remembering Logan.

'Could I have my babies?' she asked softly, opening her eyes.

'You neglected to tell me you were going to produce my nephew times two.' Anthony chided softly as he jerked his head to Bridget's left. She turned and found her babies sleeping in the same plastic see-through cots, both in blue cotton sheets.

'The one on your left is the first one; the one on the extreme left is second.' Someone informed her. She didn't take notice as she picked the second one up.

The tiny figure squirmed soundlessly in the tight bundle of sheet.

'Did he make a sound?' Bridget asked no one in particular. Everyone was silent so she turned to them. 'Did he make a sound?'

'He didn't cry. He gurgled a lot.' Devon answered. 'Just like Ethan did.'

Bridget turned back to the baby in her arms. 'James…' she whispered and the baby stirred. She lowered her head and placed a kiss on the baby's forehead.

'What's the other one's name?' someone asked.

'Jonathan…' Bridget shrugged as she stroked the soft strands of dark hair on the baby's head.

The silence didn't make anyone twitch.

She didn't know what to make of what happened in the rush of the next ten months but both of the twins said their first words and Bridget got a job as a district attorney and it supported her tiny family. What with the money she got from her brothers and her father, she could see that her life was pretty much on track. At least economical wise.

All she needed now was her husband and her life would be perfect. But he never returned her calls and the last time she called, the operator had said that his number didn't exist anymore. She gave up immediately after that. It was obvious he didn't want anything to do with her.

She didn't seem to be any different than the lively Bridget she was before but her brothers knew that inside, she was aching like mad. She loved him, there was no shadow of a doubt about that and that was why it angered them all when they found out that it was because of their dad that their sister was slowly crumbling away.

Bridget felt empty inside as she recounted her life as it was. Her father had hidden himself away from her, her husband was gone because she couldn't pick up the courage to call her father off from him, and her brother because of her as well. It didn't make sense. Why does she always drive away people whom she loved? She could only thank God that her brothers and Mark were still around. She didn't know what she would do if they too were gone.

And now with her twins, she found herself busy taking care of them. She's grateful for the distraction of her hectic job and coming back to two very active boys at the end of the day. They really were a bundle of joy.

At night, as she tucks her babies to sleep, all she wondered was how Chris was. What was he doing now? Was he missing her? He didn't even know that he was a proud father of two beautiful boys who have her hair and his eyes. His eyes…

She just wanted him back.

The road was pretty much clear as she drove her car downtown. Mark and Lizzie were taking care of the twins as she went out to shop for groceries. She didn't want to leave her kids but Mark and Lizzie insisted on it so she went through with it.

She found that she missed her twins a lot when she wasn't with them. This included when she went to work. She dreaded the time she had to leave and rushed home the moment she was off duty. Sure, being a single mother of two children was a job not many twenty year olds would want but Bridget wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

That aside, she concentrated on the empty road and found the grocery store she was looking for and as she was about to turn left, her eyes caught someone walking on the sidewalk. Recognition hit her hard as she focused her sight on the dark blond haired man. And those eyes.

Oh my God…Chris.

Just as she was about to press her horn, a car came into her peripheral vision and before she knew it, her car was pushed to the curb. The force of the impact caused her to jerk to the front, her head hitting the steering wheel, before hitting the side window. She was conscious and that made her more than aware of the pain coming from her head and legs. Tears were involuntarily streaming down her face, mingling with the blood flowing from a crack at her hair line.

Her vision was blurred as her consciousness began to fade.

The last thing she saw before darkness engulfed her were concerned dark blue eyes staring at her.

'I spoke too soon, didn't I?' Anthony asked laughingly at Bridget who was slowly recovering from her drowsiness. Bridget turned to regard her eldest brother. 'What do you mean?' she asked as he asked her to open her mouth before he slid a spoonful of mashed potatoes into it.

'You making it a tradition to manage to bring out the whole family once you get in the hospital.'

Bridget laughed hoarsely before accepting another spoonful of mashed potatoes. A moment of silence blanketed the two as she surveyed the room she was in. No one else was there and she took the time to ask her brother where everyone was.

'They all went to the canteen. James and Jonathan are with Mark and Lizzie at your apartment. I asked them not to come.' Anthony answered. Bridget thanked him and he nodded.

After a few minutes of silence, the Cohen family slowly appeared in the room, showering her with kisses and hugs. She craned her neck and found that her father wasn't there.

'I tried phoning dad but turns out that he'd changed his number.' Jordan answered her silent question. He sat on the bed and stroked her hair away from her face. 'What happened, Bee?' he asked softly. 'You're the safest driver I know.'

'I saw Chris.' She answered in an equally soft voice. No one else seemed to hear it but Jordan and Anthony's frown assured her that they did.

'We haven't seen or heard from Chris since Logan's funeral.' Jordan said, taking her hand in his, stroking it softly.

'I know…but I know what I saw, Jordan. I saw Chris walking alone at the sidewalk where I got hit.' Bridget said, trying to adjust herself on the bed but found it difficult. 'Help me up…what's wrong with my legs?'

Jordan turned to Anthony and asked him to ask everyone to leave for awhile. When they were all gone and it was only her and Jordan, he turned back to her with a solemn look on his face.

'You're not going to tell me I lost my legs, right?' she asked with a nervous chuckle. Jordan looked down at their hands and shook his head. 'No…it's just that…you won't be able to use those legs for awhile.'

'What happened, Jord?' Bridget asked, swallowing a couple of times.

'When the car hit you, the front part was hit really hard and it came down on your legs.' Jordan informed her. Bridget frowned a bit. 'The doctor said the loss of feeling isn't permanent but it would mean that you have to constantly work on them if you want to keep on using them.'

'I gotta go to therapy?' Bridget asked.

Jordan nodded and Bridget put a smile on her face. 'Cool. I've always wanted to know what happens in those things.'

The second Cohen brother shook his head in amusement as he signalled for everybody to come back in.

Five years ahead

After hitting the Save button on the computer, I switched it off and went to my bedroom. My story was finished and now I needed a rest.

I never found Chris after that day. Mind you, I tried so hard to find him again but it remained futile.

James and Jonathan have grown up to be precocious five year olds who are constantly bickering for my attention and I still can't get over the fact that they look so much alike that even I can't differentiate them sometimes.

It's funny that they don't seem to mind sharing their identities and being mistaken for the other. They had such a strong bond with each other that I find simply endearing. They seem to be able to pick up on each other's moods so well it's creepy. They also seem to not mind that they don't have a dad and how the kids in their school always tease them about it. James told me that Jonathan yelled at all of them, telling them that I more than made up for the absence. I cried for hours after that.

Speaking of crying, Mark and Lizzie's household is full of it. Their baby girl is a bundle of screams. Only seven months younger than the twins, she already knows how to turn them into putty in her tiny pudgy hands. The twins simply adored her and treated her like their own sister.

Jordan and Christina just had their first baby boy after years of trying. They were so excited they went crazy over the baby supplies. It helped that both their income could sustain them until their third generation.

I haven't heard from dad at all the past five years and it hurt that he had taken off again. I mean…I was still angry at him for chasing Chris away yet again but that didn't mean that I didn't want him around. He's still my father for God's sake!

Years of therapy still didn't make any difference on my leg and I was tired of walking around with the crutches that are constantly chaffing my armpits. I didn't need to tell anyone that but it seemed necessary for the moment.

Coming back to my twins.

About James, he's fine. The slight complication was just that at one point of him coming out, the umbilical cord was around his neck so by quickening the process of him coming out, the doctor could prevent the cord from coiling too tight.

Jonathan seems to have gotten his uncle's genes somehow. He can make me laugh any time of day. He never seems to be fresh out of jokes and he can always see me when I'm sad or angry and make me happy again.

James on the other hand is quieter and he seems mature for his age, no matter how much he likes to fool around with his brother. He talks to me. He tells me things that he observes sometimes and he always manages to calm me down.

I don't know what I would do without them, actually. They seem to have been sent down to me for a purpose. Not just to be my children…I mean…I can never seem to be unhappy with them around. Would it be too much of a cliché to call them the lights of my life? Because they are.

Anyway, back to the present. As I wobbled back to my bedroom, I heard scuffles on the floor by my bed and I smiled slightly. The twins weren't sleeping like I told them to.

'Oh my…I am so sleepy I could just fall right here on the floor.' I said loudly, feigning exhaustion as I stretched and yawned. I heard giggles and I giggled softly myself.

I padded across the room and threw myself on my bed, making it jiggle a bit. Their giggles intensified a bit. I took that as a cue to find them.

I turned a bit and identical faces popped out from under the beds and I screamed bloody murder. They screamed too as I laughed.

'Mom! You knew?' Jonathan asked as both of them scrambled up to the bed and got under the covers, snuggling close to me.

'With the racket you made, I'm surprised Poland didn't start a riot with us here.' I said as I got under the covers as they giggled. 'I told you she could hear us!' James giggled as he laid over my stomach to poke Jonathan's stomach.

'Okay boys…you were supposed to sleep half an hour ago. What's your excuse…I'll humour you this time.'

The boys stumbled over themselves to explain, one voice competing with the other that ended up in a fight among themselves which I put an end to with a loud ear-piercing whistle. They turned their heads to me and smiled. 'Get in bed you little conniving monsters.'

They giggled before getting under the covers with me in the middle.

I fumbled with the bedside lamp and switched it off. All I could hear were the boys' soft breaths as I looked at the ceiling, lit by the moonlight.

The thought of Chris invaded my mind yet again that night.

Will I ever see him? Will the twins ever get to meet their dad? Where is he? What is he thinking of right at this moment? Thousands of questions ran through my mind, and surprisingly, they were the ones which put me straight to sleep.

The next morning, I decided to bring the boys out to the park where Chris and I first had our date. I yelled for the boys to not run off too far but of course, being boy twins, they had to do the exact opposite of what I said. I let them as I looked for the bench where Chris and I sat as we talked just before Logan interrupted us. I choked on my tears as I remembered how Logan had stopped us that night. I won't be able to do anything with either of them anymore. Especially Logan. Oh God I miss Logan so much.

'Excuse me,'

I hastily wiped away the tears on my cheeks before turning to see who it was. My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my throat.

It was Chris.