Black Roses

Chapter 16

Oh My God…It's Chris. Talk, Cohen…TALK! It's Chris God damn it!

'Bridget.' I am his wife therefore my next action would not look desperate in the eyes of people who know.

I jumped up and hugged him so tight he would probably need an oxygen tank after this.

'Oh my God, Chris. I missed you so much. Why did you have to leave? Why did you do it only to appease my father?! I love you God damn it! Isn't that enough?!' I blurted my innermost feelings right then and there. I couldn't help it anymore. It had hurt me too much not to talk about it. I mean…I couldn't very well just tell all this to my five year olds could I? And I was too scared to open up to my brothers or my best friend, for fear they would go out to hunt Chris down and end up like Logan. Oh God Logan…

'I'm sorry Bridget.'

I pushed him away and hit my fist on his chest. 'Sorry is not enough, Chris! Five whole years without you…what were you thinking?' I sobbed. 'I needed you so much and you weren't there…what were you thinking?'

He pulled me back into the hug and I bunched the front of his shirt into my fists and pulled him closer. 'I missed you so much.' My voice was muffled but Chris seemed to hear as he said. 'Me too.' That made me cry even harder.

'Mommy! Jonathan hurt me!' I spun around, still in Chris' arms. James ran smack to my legs as he latched on to it for dear life. His head barely grazed my thighs. I placed my hands on top of his head and waited for Jonathan, who scampered up to us with a frown on his face. 'I wouldn't have if you hadn't sat on the twig I wanted to use!' he huffed, sticking his lower lip out and crossing his arms over his chest.

The grip Chris had around me loosened and I bent down to comfort James. He looked up at me with the same eyes as the man behind me and I smiled through my tears.

'You're crying too, mommy?' James sniffled.

I looked at Jonathan and was surprised to see that he was gaping up at Chris. I turned and saw that Chris had the same expression as his first born son.

I turned back to James and I found it disturbing that all three of them had identical expressions on their faces. I couldn't help but laugh.

Wiping my tears from my face, I stood up, pulling James and Jonathan with me. 'Chris…these are yours.'

Chris looked from me to them a couple of times before settling on me. The look on his face told me that he was mulling things over in his head, trying to make sense of it. 'Mine…they're mine?' he asked in a hoarse whisper. Nodding, I bent down and asked the boys to greet their daddy.

Both of them were hesitant but slowly, they made their way to their dad. No knowing what to do, James grabbed Chris' hand in his and pulled him down. Chris went down on his knees and James pecked him on the cheeks. Jonathan followed suit and in a moment's breath, the two boys were in their father's arms.

Clichéd Hallmark original movie moment, I do think.

After a few moments of hugging, Chris picked them both up with strength I never knew anyone could have. I mean…the boys weren't exactly a bag of feathers. But I cave. I mean…they looked so adorable together. I cannot believe Chris missed five years of this.

'Can we go home?'

How could I say no?

'Hey Bridget,' I heard Chris whisper in the dark.

It's been almost a month since Chris moved back to our apartment and we had both just put the twins to bed.

'Yeah?' I asked, searching for his hand under the blanket. When I finally found it, I held on to it, softly drawing circles on it with my thumb.

'I'm sorry for everything that happened.'

'You're back,' I assured him. 'That's all that matters.'

We were quiet for a while before I heard him call my name again. I turned to him with a gentle smile, beckoning him to go on. With the soft light from the street lights outside, I could see Chris smile back.

'Let's renew our vows.' The idea stunned me, yet at the same time, it thrilled me. 'In front of our family and friends.' His voice turned an octave higher.

He rattled on and on about how we could have our perfect wedding. I could plan whatever I had originally wanted with our first wedding. I could make it as grand as I wanted. He told me how he had managed to work his butt off that he was now the partner at the firm he was working in.

All the time, I couldn't help but think of Logan and dad. Especially dad. If this was the wedding I wanted to plan, dad had to walk me down the aisle and give me to Chris.

'…and you don't even have to worry about the guest list. Your dad's set it up and everything.'

Wait what?

'Wait, what?'

I heard the smile in his voice and I reached over to my side to switch on the bedside lamp. I sat up in the bed and Chris copied my actions, all the while with a smile on his face.

'I thought that would capture your attention.' He muttered lightly. 'I've been in contact with your dad for the past four years or so. I've been trying to explain the situation through letters. Finally…eight months ago, he replied to my letters.' I sucked in my breath. 'Yeah, I was surprised too. But since then…I don't know…I guess we came to an understanding. He told me that if I came back to you and you took me back, he'd willingly give you up to me.'

To say I was overjoyed would be a total understatement.

'Have I told you lately that I love you?' I asked, coming close to him, nuzzling his neck with my nose.

'You could always tell me again.' He replied, a bit breathless.

'I love you.' I said, accentuating every word with a kiss, ending with a gentle kiss on his lips.

I try but I can't seem to get myself to think of anything but you

Your breath on my face your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth

Baby breaths tickled my nose as I adjusted the train to my dress. Yes…I'm finally getting the wedding I had always wanted since I got married to Chris.

The dress, which cost more than my measly one year salary, was…simply divine. It was a two piece snow white gown; a long sleeved low v-neck splendour with satin embroidery along the plunge line, and ten meters of pure silk, billowing down to the floor was the skirt.

My hair was swept up in a messy do with a few stray locks framing my face. My makeup, a light touch just to give my face a creamy complexion once it hit the light. My shoes, simple ballet slippers with a slightly high heel.

All in all…the perfect combination I had in mind.

A knock at the door made my heart jump before I dragged my long train, walking to the door. It was dad.

The three months we had all taken out of our lives to prepare for the wedding, dad had been the perfect gentleman when it came to dealing with everything. He had managed everything on his own. Of course, all of us had to pitch in but dad did almost everything, the food, the décor, the guest list.

He was also civil towards Jeremy and Chris and I took that as a good sign. I had my doubts at first, let me tell you. But even Anthony backed dad up every chance he got so I believed him. So here he was, smiling and crying at the same time in front of his only daughter and youngest child.

'Bridget…' he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on my forehead and I ushered him in. He sat down and I bent down in front of him, not worrying at all about my skirt.

'You look exactly like your mother on her wedding day…'

My heart skipped a beat as I recalled a picture I once saw of mom and dad's wedding. She looked so flushed and happy at the time. The picture didn't do her any real justice because I remember that mom was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. To be compared to her, that was just…wow.

'She would be so proud of you, darling.' Dad said softly through his tears.

'I love you daddy,' I replied as softly as him.

'I give you my utmost blessing in this, Bridget. I really hope you would be happy for as long as you both have each other.'

I stood up and hugged him tight. My tears flowed down my face and I thank The One Up There that my make-up and mascara were water-proof.

'Come on, dear. I have to give you away.'

The walk down the aisle was frightening and joyous at the same time. I could see Uncle Micah and Aunt Rosa beaming at me, my brothers and their families and significant others smiling and crying at the same time, my friends, my cousins whom I haven't seen for such a long time, and teachers as well. But all my eyes had attention on was my husband. His hair was neatly combed and he looked gorgeous in his suit. Beside him was Mark, standing tall and proud, smiling at me. And right beside him were my two boys. They were actually still, standing there beside Mark, holding the tiny pillow that had our rings.

My heart couldn't stop its erratic beating as I came nearer to the raised platform. I felt dad's reassuring grip on my arm and I almost burst into tears but I made it all the way to standing in front of Chris and I went through the vows which had almost everyone sniffling and the last part of the whole ceremony.

'By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.' The priest turned to look at Chris who in turn was looking at me. 'You may kiss the bride.' Chris slowly lifted the veil off me and the kiss, which I thought would be spine-tingling and firework-inducing was so much more.

Nothing around me was relevant. The deafening sounds of the clapping, my skirt being tugged, the sobs I heard behind me…they were just there without being…there. It was so hard to explain the feeling that I was feeling right at that moment.

All I knew was that the kiss Chris was giving me, was exactly what I had been looking for ever since the drama of my life unfolded. No…it wasn't even the kiss. It was Chris.

Chris gave me something I wanted to so much.

He gave me peace.