Autumn Leaves & Pumpkins Please

eight | getting back with the ex

october 19th

dallas, america

I WAS WATCHING Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix when my mom came into my apartment. She walked into the living room, saw me, gasped and then laid her hand on her chest. I snickered at her, but she didn't find the event as funny as I did.

"Autumn!" she exclaimed – actually, it was almost screaming as if she had a shellshock – "When did you come home?"

"Yesterday." I stuffed my face with chips and chewed loudly. I really did hate me too, in general and in particular my eating behavior defined by loud chewing and loud swallowing, sometimes burping too, but only when the food was really good. I absolutely despised food-moaners, though, but maybe I was worse. Only did this s**t around very familiar people.

"Yesterday?" my mom dramatically grabbed her cheeks and pulled the skin down so her eyes appeared to be two times as big. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to ruin your fun. Where have you been?"

"Tom's." She looked around at all the rubbish spread over the floor in both the kitchen and living room with a disgusted expression on her face. "What for God's sake have you done to your place? I cleaned up your apartment three days ago before I went to Tom!"

"Tom," I groaned as I stuffed my face some more, "iws he ywour pwarwamour?"

"My what? Paramour?" my mom asked while she cleaned the room.

"Ywes."

"What about no talking while eating?"

"Fwuck thwat."

"You're nasty and unmannered. Anyway, Tom and I are dating."

"Grwoss."

I swallowed the chips and drank from my water. At least I was doing something healthy, mostly because of the major breakouts in my face. Who with the ripe age of twenty-one suffered from random acne break-outs? Exactly, Autumn Morris.

My parents had been divorced since I was eleven. I remembered them fighting a lot and it made me sad back in the days. Going through a divorce hit me harder than I ever had expected, but fortunately, I got over it without help from a specialist. My sister, Blanche, moved to England with my father, but I decided to stay with my mother. Ever since then we had gotten a lot closer and she had become one of my best friends. Lately, she had been talking to a man called Tom Davidson who lived around the corner. She met him during a baby shower. Legend had it that Tom danced to Teach Me How to Dougie when he wasn't at the gym – which he visited like all day. He sure was very buff, but to me, he looked like a big, masculine ape. No offense. I had a lot of things to hate him for, his sporty behavior, his fake-niceness, but I realized those arguments were shitty and I only tried to keep him from my mom, because otherwise I could lose her. It was immature, but I couldn't help it. We were two independent women who didn't need a man in their house.

When my mom sat down next to me with a cup of coffee and opened her mouth to start a conversation probably about my time in London, the doorbell rang. I jumped off the couch and ran to the door, because we never had any visitors, and opened it.

"Chris!" I was very surprised to see him and pulled him into a hug.

"Hey," he laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. When I pulled back, his blue eyes looked more blue than normal which only occurred when he was really happy. There was this shine of light in those eyes of his that brightened up the world around us. The gloomy weather suddenly seemed to clear up and everything seemed a bit more colored.

"You look even prettier than I can remember," he leaned in and started smiling. When our lips connected, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

His full lips on mine, his passionate kiss. His large hands all over my body, teasing me by replacing his grip constantly. He stopped kissing me for a second to look at my face, then he connected our lips once again. A wave of electricity went through my whole body, leaving me wanting more. More of him. He stopped kissing me again and gently pushed me against the wall of his apartment.

"Tell me how much you want me."

"I want all of you. All of you."

"All of me?" Hearing Chris' voice awakened me from my deep thoughts. He looked uncomfortably at my hand which had made its way to his crotch. I realized we still were outside my house and more importantly, that it was Xavier who I was thinking about. Fragments of memories of the night Xavier and I had s*x went through my mind during my kiss with Chris.

"Oh my god, sorry." My cheeks turned red and I looked down at the ground.

"It's okay, but it's just- well, we're outside so maybe here's not the right place."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"But it's great to know how much you missed me."

We went upstairs to my room afterwards, where he started kissing me again. I tried to not think about that filthy manwhore, but I found myself comparing him to my boyfriend anyway. Xavier was rougher and more manly kisser, while Chris was softer. Then I realized Xavier actually was very good at alternating soft kisses and rough kisses; one second he would push me against the wall and the other second he would give sweet pecks onto my lips. The alternating leaded to the effect of me basically drooling over him and wanting more, it turned me on so badly. That was probably why it was so easy for him to get me into bed. Oh right, and because I was severely drunk. He knew exactly how to handle a bit stubborn women, because sober, I would've never been that easy on him.

And there I went again, reliving our moments while I was doing s**t with my boyfriend.

"f**k," I mumbled to his lips.

"What?" Chris moved a bit away from me, but I pulled him back.

"Aye, just kissing, no talking mate."

We continued until I softly bit into his underlip. He backed away and looked quite offended.

"The f**k did you just bite my lip?"

"What's wrong with that? Isn't that turning you on?"

"No, that f*****g hurts."

"Oh come on, it wasn't even hard biting, it was soft biting."

"It hurts."

Xavier did like that. Why was my boyfriend such a f*****g p***y sometimes? I pushed him against the wall and connected our lips again, but he turned his head.

"Autumn, your manhood is scaring me to be honest," he said.

"Oh my god, Chris," I sighed and let myself fall onto my bed. "Do you want to have s*x or not?"

"Not like that. First you biting my lip, then you pushing me against the wall, what's next? You putting your d**k inside of me?"

"I thought you were into that?" I laughed.

"Ew." He got in the bed as well and hugged me. "Where even did you learn all that kinky s**t? b**m on Pornhub?"

"You want to know the truth about my knowledge?" I ask.

"Spill."

"Xavier Montgomery when we were having sex."

Chris started laughing. Loud.

"Yeah sure, had I already told you that Beyoncé taught me how to talk? My first word was Jay-Z."

I sat up straight and poked his chest.

"I'm serious."

"Autumn, please. You're too ugly."

"f**k you?"

"Okay." He started unbuckling his belt and grinned at me.

"Chris, seriously. I had s*x with Xavier Montgomery. He will be taking over the company Lily-Rose is going to partner up with, so that's why I met him."

"What?" Suddenly, my boyfriend looked very worried with his brows frowned.

"What?" I mimicked his tone, "So shocked that I could ever get someone that hot?"

He got out of the bed and crossed his arms. It was surprising to see him looking so madly at me, but on the other hand did it annoy me. I was only trying to be honest, maybe not in the best moment possible, but I did it.

"You seriously f****d Xavier Montgomery? Author of the book Fireflies of Your Lies and son of the owner of BRO-S?"

"Yes."

"What the f**k, Autumn!"

"What!"

"I can't believe you f****d someone like when? A day after our break-up, two? And then get back with me as if nothing ever happened?" Chris was pacing up and down my room with a frustrated facial expression. As he spoke, he made full use of his hands, which meant that this really trigged something.

"Are you f*****g hearing yourself?" I stood up too and faced him, "Aren't you the one who f****d that stupid girl behind my back, whilst we were in a relationship? Wasn't that you?"

"We're not talking about that now, Autumn, stop bringing that up."

"Is that your only defense, you hypocrite? What if the tables were turned and I was the one who f****d a random boy while we were in a relationship? I'm one hundred percent sure that you would f**k another girl, the same f*****g day!"

"No, I wouldn't. I would still be caring about you one day after our break-up and you most certainly didn't."

"So you stopped caring a long time ago? You stopped caring four months ago when you met that girl you've been f*****g with?"

"Autumn, I told you that that isn't a thing anymore."

"Get the f**k out of my house."

"Autumn."

"Get the f**k out!"