WHO CAN WE TRUST!!

trust!! that is an easy word and also heavy. who can we really trust??. well to some people trust is bought and to others they don't know who to trust, including myself. we find ourselves being hurt by people we call lovers maybe even family and it hurts a lot to admit that they broke us. A long time ago I used to ask myself, why do we women let men treat us badly, why?. That is a question I never had an answer to, but as time went by I came to understand that it's not them it's us, we are the ones letting all these things happen. what happened to us women leading, opening our minds Telling these men how we really feel and how we want to be treated, what happened to women rule the world. it's not not fair how we sit down and let these men treat us like trash. I won't lie to you I was once there and it sucked to be in a position where you can't choose just because you're afraid how life will turn out to be. f**k life! I want you to get up and at least try to fight before saying you can't, what if you can huh? what if you fight and succeed . I never knew how much it would cost me to choose myself over everything , I lost people I never expected I would, people who used to smile with me but behind their smiles lies someone who doesn't want you to make it. It doesn't matter who you'll lose in the process of finding yourself, what matters is who you will become in the end. And I won't lie to you, the road is not easy . There will come a time where you'll start even Questioning your worth but what I can tell you don't lose yourself. Have you ever gone through something that ripped you apart?, something you've never thought would happen to you because you're kind , loving and caring. If not lemme tell you a story I read once and it reminded me of a time I went through something like that. So there was this girl who was quiet and just starting to know what love is. She used to live with here mother who was sick, she never knew if she was sick, and to her life was normal. All the girl wanted was a family that was happy and stable, but she never experienced that. As time went by the mother started feeling weak and had to stop going to work because she couldn't even lift a chair up. So what does she decide?!, she called her brother and asked him if he could take one of her daughters, and the brother was kind enough so he agreed. The mother decided that the older one should be the one to go and that's how the two sisters were separated from each other . The younger one was left with the dying mother and she had no idea. So time went by and the mother wasn't getting better. She decides to go to the hospital to know why she's not healing and what the doctor said is that she doesn't have much time left. So the mother comes home looking troubled and sad but she couldn't tell her younger daughter the sad news. A week later she wakes up and tells the daughter how she loves her and added that she had to go, but she will come back, and the daughter didn't see any wrong with that, so she goes to her aunt and stays there for four days , what she didn't know was that she will never see her mother again and that she will keep knowing that her mother will come back even if it takes forever. But to her surprise she didn't know that her mother was dead. when the news reached her, she broke and I don't think she recovered. she felt betrayed, unloved and she had this anger she never had before. she was angry to the world, God and her dead mother. why leave me without saying a proper goodbye, why lie to me. That was a question she prayed she had an answer to, When the time came to bury her mother . she was already broken and she did care about anything. she became cold. At the burial ground there she met someone who was going to be here worst nightmare, she called him the devil.and not far away from him her sister was sitting there looking at her like she doesn't even recognize her. The guy who was to take care of her as her mother and him had talked, introduced her to his family. And the family was surrounded by people who knew how to love and care about someone without feeling quilty. So there she was looking at them while her mind was talking to her saying how she can't trust anyone but she was a quiet person and everybody knew that. Slowly by slowly she started letting her guard down while she learned how to love and be open to people, not knowing that it will break her afterwards. well I don't really blame her. after that separation with her sister she was entirely brought up alone so having all of these people around her was new and fun. Life started making sence to her and she prayed that this time it would last. but you know how the saying goes, "every family has their own demons." the guy who was taking care of the girl lets Name him Jonny which it's not his real name.started having problems, with his work and wife. So he starts being dishonest and angry all the time. the wife tried her best to keep the family intact but you can't fix what's already broken.when you already have a sickness in you you'll try to either spread it or issolate yourself, for him he choose the cowards way, spreading. Let me ask you something. if you were the wife what could you do? stay or run so that you won't get infected. if you choose to run then your on the safe side, no one will stay with you knowing that you can't be help. so for her she choose to take her kids and run for the hills. Now it was just the girl and Jonny. when the wife left Jonny started drinking and bringing home different women who some were good some had other intession. but Jonny couldn't see that.he started beating the women he used to bring home and the girl could hear every cry for help the women used to shout for. One year down the girl got used to the yelling at night and the Alcohol smell till she started drinking to.well I won't say that it was her fault not will I say it was Jonny's but the environment she was raised in. she started pulling herself out and trying not to talk to leave because what she experiences she can't even start saying. Jonny started having dept that he couldn't even pay and slowly he started being depressed, he was not the type of a man who would talk about his failures and pain. He started seeing that the women who he usually beat are not coming back , so what does he do. The worst she never imagined could happen to her happened wait for part two