Not His Mate

They always said it was meant to be. For as long as I can remember, they said I was his, and I would be grateful to be chosen. But I never wanted him. Sure, he was the Alpha’s son. And yeah, he grew into that tall, dark, and handsome guy every girl should dream of. But I didn’t. My dreams were filled with images of blue skies, green mountains, and a house in the middle of nowhere with smoke curling from the chimney and disappearing into the bright morning air. In my dreams, Logan wasn’t by my side. I didn’t know the man who was. My dreams never revealed his face, but somehow I knew he was a stranger to me—at least, for now. The ripples of muscle along his back as he stared out across the feathery blades of grass, the way his hair flowed in the light breeze, they all felt like home, though I knew I was nowhere near mine. I didn’t dare tell anyone about my dreams. It would have been a sign of wanting to leave our pack and go rogue, and everyone knew a werewolf without a pack would eventually lose his or her mind. But still I dreamed. “Krista!” My mom’s voice cuts through my daze and brings me back to the present with a snap. “Yeah?” I turn to her as I slice through a potato and drop the pieces into a bowl. “You need to focus,” she admonished. “A good wife has dinner ready before her husband comes home from the hunt. Your birthday is less than a week away, and you need to be ready for your new life without me to teach you things.” “Of course, Ma,” I sigh and look down grudgingly at the potatoes. My birthday. It should be a day of celebration, reaching adulthood, finding my mate, all the things everyone in my pack looks forward to. And yet, I’m terrified of the impending storm I can feel brewing on the horizon. If I don’t feel the mysterious tug on my heart that says Logan is my mate, they’ll all be devastated. Disappointed. And I wouldn’t be too surprised if I was disowned. But I know deep down, my mate is not here. It isn’t Logan, the handsome future Alpha of the Black Shadow Pack. I won’t be uniting our low-station family with his high-class one and improving our position in the pack. Despite Logan and my lifelong friendship, I know that’s all it will remain. My heart aches at the thought of disappointing my parents, but at least soon, I won’t have to hide my true feelings any longer. My true mate is out there somewhere. And I’ll have to leave my pack to find him. *** When the sun finally peeks over the trees surrounding our cabin, I roll over and toss my blanket off my legs. I’ve been awake for hours, dreading the feeling in my stomach that tells me exactly what I predicted. I look over my reflection in the mirror. I have the same pale, freckled skin, and my athletic frame is still slight with a little muscle from all my running. My light brown hair still falls down nearly to my waist, and my green eyes are dull as I search my soul for the tug toward Logan. There’s nothing different in my reflection today than there was yesterday. I sigh as I pull on a pair of jeans and a plain gray T-shirt before I creep out into the living room. No one else is awake yet, and I can hear my father’s rumbling snores as I turn on the coffee machine to begin what is certain to be a dreadful morning. While the coffee brews, I tiptoe back into my room and pull a duffel bag from my closet. I toss in the essentials, jeans, shirts, sweatpants, toiletries, and an extra pair of shoes. I’ve never been the sentimental type, but I look around my room with a crippling feeling of regret. I didn’t get enough time here. Eighteen years seems like a long time, but it’s just a blink of an eye. And now that I know for certain Logan isn’t my mate, and neither is anyone else in the Black Shadow Pack, I won’t be allowed to stay. I zip the bag shut with a sense of finality and loop the long strap around my chest. I grab the cash I’ve been saving for years from underneath my mattress and stuff it into my pocket before I take one last breath in my room. Then I close the door and head back into the kitchen. I’d contemplated if I should leave before my parents woke up, but they deserved an explanation before I disappeared. So I set my bag down at my feet and sip my coffee until I hear the groan of their bedroom door opening. “Happy birthday to the future Luna!” my mom squeals as she zips around the corner and then stops with a look of utter confusion. “Krista, what…what’s going on?” Her eyes drift over my stoic face, down to the duffel on the floor, and back to my steady gaze. “How’s the birthday girl?” my dad booms as he marches into the awkwardly silent kitchen and nearly deflates. “Krista, what is this?” “Logan isn’t my mate,” I say flatly. “And I don’t know who is.” My mom lets out a heart wrenching sob as she turns to bury her face in my father’s chest. Even his eyes water as he gulps audibly and then clears his throat. “We’ll be sure to tell Alpha Liam what’s happened,” he says after a moment. “Then I guess I’ll be going,” I reply with a half-smile. “I hope our paths cross again. I love you both.” My mother looks up with tears streaming down her face. I can’t tell if she’s more upset about me leaving or about not gaining her status as the future Luna’s mother. Either way, it feels like I’ve been punched in the chest as I rinse out my coffee mug and set it in the sink. I won’t bother Logan with a goodbye. He was just as set as everyone else with our future together, no matter how many times I tried to convince him I wasn’t as certain as they were. He’ll turn eighteen in a few weeks, find his true mate, and it’ll be like I never existed. With that gut wrenching thought in my head, I walk between the trees and into the forest. *** It feels like I’ve been walking for weeks, though it’s only been days. I haven’t been able to hunt in my wolf form, and the lack of food is starting to weaken my movements. I can feel the energy draining out of my feet with every step, but I know I can’t stay in one place too long. I have to avoid other pack territories, so my path meanders along the bordering lands that branch out around the Black Shadow Pack’s territory. Packs don’t like rogues, and I shudder when I realize that’s what I am now. We all grew up with the stories of rogues who wandered the forests in search of their mates, scrounging for food and water until they became so desperate for sustenance, they entered another pack’s territory. Such an intrusion wouldn’t be taken lightly, though the kinder packs would merely capture the rogue, while the more barbaric packs have a tendency to kill rogues on sight. A rogue’s life would never be easy, and I know at least part of that is because wolves aren’t meant to be alone. Yet, here I am. I don’t have a pack, no family, no friends, just a lifetime of walking until I find my mate or lose my mind. So which will come first? These thoughts swirl around in my head while I gingerly skip over a small creek and land in the soft mud on the other side, but the moment my sneakers touch the ground, my stomach churns. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and it feels like a boulder is laying in the pit of my belly. Someone is watching me.