Breaking

Vivian’s POV Vivian stirred in her sleep. The early morning light was creeping in to her slightly open window and falling square on her face. She turned over on to her side, instinctively reaching her arm over to the other side of the bed to feel Robert’s warmth. As her hand hit the soft yet slightly cold sheets, she tensed, closing her hand into a fist. An audible sigh escaped from her lips as the realization hit her. It had been only 5 months since Robert had tragically passed but she doubted she would ever get used to his absence. Vivian begrudgingly opened her eyes and pushed herself to a sitting position. She glanced down at Robert’s pillow and allowed herself to dream, even just briefly, as she thought of how he would normally be there with tousled hair and a small amount of drool cascading out of the corner of his mouth. She loved him. She always would, but she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on the ache, at least not today. With a slow deep breath Vivian swung her legs over the side of the bed and started to get ready for the day ahead “What should I do first?” Vivian said to herself aloud, even though there was no one there to answer her. “Yoga it is.” She said with a sigh. She’d been sighing more and more lately, a bad habit brought about by living alone after 15 years of being married. She made a mental note to try to make that the last sigh of the day. After working up a sweat and spending a good amount of her mediation time trying to stop thinking at all, Vivian rolled up her yoga mat and set off to the bathroom. Vivian turned on the shower to a nice steamy temperature and stepped in. Trying to focus on getting clean was so hard when all her mind wanted to do was think about Robert and how he would be so proud of her for working out this morning. He used to give her such a hard time about not taking care of herself better that after he passed she made it a goal to honor him by honoring her body. She lathered the shampoo and massaged her scalp as she thought about how he used to call to her from the other side of the shower curtain. “Hey Vi! Where’s the toothpaste?” He would shout at her. “In the drawer, just like always.” She rolled her eyes but smiled none the less. He was always asking her for little things. He wasn’t forgetful or un-observant, she realized it was just his way of letting her know that he was there and that he needed her. As she rinsed the last of the soap from her body, she smiled. She always felt better after showering, it was just so therapeutic, a symbolism of letting the crap go and just being. As Vivian stepped from the shower to dry and style her hair she glanced at her phone and realized she was running behind as she spent too much time day dreaming in the shower. After rushing to dry and style her hair, Vivian put just enough makeup on to give her some color and to add a layer of camouflage for any stray tears that might make their way down her cheeks later that day. She glanced at her phone once again and let out a sigh. “Not another one!” She said and put her palm to her forehead. It hadn’t even been an hour and already she was sighing. She was really going to need to pull herself together. She was supposed to meet up with Lily and Peter in just over half an hour and it was a twenty five minute drive to their usual brunch hang out. With that, Vivian pulled on a pair of burgundy fitted pants, a delicate cream top with embroidered cherry blossoms that floated in the breeze, a pair of black ballet flats, and the gold bar necklace that Robert had given her for their 10th anniversary. She rushed down the stairs to the garage, grabbing her bag from the kitchen counter on her way. Once in the car she turned on her classic 80’s rock music and checked her GPS. She was going to be late. She grabbed her phone to send Lily a message. “Hey Lil. I’m running behind. I’ll be there about 5 minutes late as long as traffic isn’t bad. Tell Peter I’m sorry. I know he hates it when I’m late.” Send. Lily was her best friend and Peter was Robert’s. After Robert’s accident they both dedicated themselves to helping her not feel so alone which gave birth to these weekly brunch dates. Lily would leave her two little ones at home with her husband and Peter would take the morning off of work even though it was a Tuesday. Vivian pulled up to both of them waiting outside the restaurant for her. She glanced at herself in the rear view mirror and despite being rushed she actually felt beautiful today. Her long brown hair was cascading in perfect loose curls and and she saw a hint of hope in her stormy blue gray eyes. She always felt better on days she got to see Lily and Peter. She gave herself an encouraging smile and hopped out of the car. Lily, ever the enthusiastic one, squealed and skipped over. Throwing her arms wide she embraced Vivian with a crushing squeeze. “Geez Lil! It’s not like you didn’t see me last week.” “I know, I know, but I missed you!” Lily said with a gigantic grin on her face. In a lot of ways Lily was the exact opposite of Vivian. Shoulder length blonde hair straight as a pin with freckles on her nose and cheeks. Lily was always the outgoing and energetic one. Ever since they became friends back in elementary school Vivian felt like she was Lily’s shadow, but they were joined at the hip anyway. Both girls glanced over to Peter. “It’s good to see you again Vi, even if you are late.” He smirked in his baritone voice with a small smile forming on his rugged face. Peter was handsome in a hardened sort of way. His hair was dark and his eyes were even darker. He had golden brown skin that shimmered in the sunlight. His perfectly toned arms stuck out from under his tight tee as he reached out and squeezed Vivian in a short but firm side hug. Vivian smiled at the warmth of his hands on her shoulder. “We should get some food now, I’m starving!” Lily chimed and rushed inside. Peter grabbed the swinging door and held it open wide gesturing to Vivian. “After you.” He said, ever the gentleman.