Her submissive Beta, Her dominant Alpha

Acting out his pain

Four months later

*Micah*

"Are you out of your mind, Micah? Do you want to ruin your life? Because you're well on your way." Luke's yelling at me through the phone.

Lately, that's how every conversation has been with my pack's Gamma. I know I'm pushing Luke's patience to its limits, something I never thought possible. He's always been more of a friend to me, with the patience of an angel. Lately he has served as Beta too, with Luca and me not talking… hell often he has been stand in Alpha for me on top of everything.

"What's the issue this time, Luke? What have I done now to rile you up?" There could be several reasons for him to be mad, but I don't know which ones people know about.

Luke sighs. "Where do you want me to start, Micah? Acting like an i***t at that big charity event? Refusing to talk to the media or other guests... behaving like a diva? Or how about the bar fight with the famous rock star? Or maybe, just maybe, sleeping with that Alpha's wife and causing a huge alliance to fall through? That's just this week, Micah."

I bite my lip. It's been a rough week, what can I say? That rock star had it coming. He was talking about Amber... my Amber. The woman who changed my life and is now ruining it without even being a part of it... or maybe because she's not in it.

I've tried everything, thinking I'd forget her if I stayed busy. I didn't think I was capable of love before I met her, and I still managed to screw everything up.

Now, it seems, I'm ruining myself, my life, and my pack. The worst part is that I don't really care. Nothing matters anymore.

"Sorry, Luke. I don't mean to annoy you. I just can't pretend to be nice and happy when I feel like this." I rub my face with my hand.

Luke sounds a bit less angry. "You know, Micah, acting out, getting a reputation as a hot-headed diva, and sleeping with anything that moves won't bring her back."

"I know... I know. But she won't even talk to me. She's blocked my number. I've just been trying to forget her." I tried calling her and talking for the first few weeks, but she ignored every attempt I made to contact her.

I still have her key, which she must have forgotten she gave me. A few times, I've let myself into her house when she wasn't home, hoping to feel close to her. It makes me feel like a creepy stalker, though.

Luke talks to me like I'm a child. "You need to pull yourself together, Micah. You've got a premiere to attend in two days. Can you please try to clean up and act normal for just one evening?"

"I don't want to go. Luca will probably be there." I groan. I haven't spoken to Luca since that day either.

Luke sighs. "Yeah, of course, he will be. Everyone's going... and you're going too. And you're going to behave. This is your last chance, Micah. If you screw this up, I'm done."

"Fine, fine. I'll go, and I'll try not to do anything stupid. But if Luca doesn't leave me alone, I can't promise anything." I close my eyes, wishing Luca had kept his mouth shut.

"I mean it, Micah. This is your last warning. See you later." Luke hangs up, and I slump back onto the couch.

I stand up and pour myself a scotch. I know I shouldn't, but I need it. Lately, I've needed it way too much.

Three hours and several scotches later, I find myself outside Amber's house, drunk and desperate to see her. When no one answers the door, I let myself in.

I walk through the house, looking at her things, smiling at the memories they bring back. Eventually, I end up in her bedroom.

I know I should leave. I'm not wanted here, and she could come home any minute. What would she say if she found me? She'd probably try to kick my ass, and in my current state, she might succeed.

Her bed smells like her, I realize as I throw myself onto it. I curl up, crying like a baby, inhaling her scent. Soon, I'm fast asleep.

*Amber*

It had been a rough night. The band was demanding, the music loud, and the fans rowdy.

Lately, my heart hasn't been in it. I feel dead inside, like my motivation is gone.

I want to hate Micah, but I can't. I'm angry with him, but part of me still loves him. However, I can't make use of that love; he's shown me that.

As for Luca, I was very angry and disappointed with him too, but we've been friends for a long time. After about a month, I forgave him when he begged for my forgiveness.

He told me he did it because he was in love with me, but I told him we could only be friends. I only love him as a friend, so no more benefits, and he seemed to accept that.

Honestly, I haven't been with any man since then. I'm confused; I don't know what I want anymore. I no longer feel like being in control. That was a facade, a way to keep men at a distance, not letting them close enough to hurt me.

But I just don't like the idea of anyone other than Micah being in charge of me. I don't trust them enough.

Micah certainly seems to have moved on. He's seen with a new woman every week. Most recently, his pack lost a significant alliance because he couldn't keep his hands off the other Alpha's young wife.

Unlocking my door, I think about how good a long night's sleep will feel. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better. Maybe the hole in my chest will be gone, and I'll feel whole again.

As I enter my bedroom, I nearly scream. There's someone lying in my bed. But then I recognize him. What the hell is Micah doing, sleeping in my bed?