Hell is empty! The Demons are, here.

Do you think you can outrun them? I reach around under the blankets trying to find my phone to check the time. I fell asleep with it in my hand trying to avoid sleep, and failed like usual. 4:44am... DAMN Almost time to get up to let the dogs out but ill keep resting until then. I, I shouldn't have closed my eyes again. The nightmare. It eats away at me whenever i actually remember it, and boy do i wish i couldn't remember it the odd time i happen to. 5:13am... I couldn't outrun them today.. Guess this is where my day starts.. There's already an incredibly heavy feeling around me, my Demons for today maybe? Self hate? Resentment? Depression? i wonder what demons left hell to visit me today. as i get out of bed and place my feet on the floor, i can feel it take over my body in its cold, dark manner, slowly cloaking me and my minds thoughts for the day.. No will to live. This is painful. The thoughts of "i didnt ask to be born." "i didn't want forced to live this life" "what even is the point of life?" startto flood my thinking, i cant slow it nor can i stop it, sadly. surely the day will get better.? The suns shining through the blinds as the outside world starts to come to life. The showers switched on and warming up as i let the dogs outside for the toilet, therapy today. It takes allot of motivation to get in the shower because it means seeing myself naked, and that invites more demons to the occasion. Getting out of the shower then becomes equally as hard because it means being cold until im dressed. 10:00am Therapy... its only the second session, i hate it already. How many of those people feel the same as me?