52
1979 Words
[Nasaan ka, ghorl?] si Ate Noreen iyon, kausap ko siya sa facetime.
She doesn't know anything yet. I never told her. Siguro, kung malalaman niya ay sobrang magugulat din siya at siya ang alam kong tao na ponakamanghihinayang. But there is no point on hiding it anymore, malalaman at malalaman niya pa rin naman kahit anong mangyari. Mas mabuti na rin namang sa akin mismo manggagaling ang kwento.
Ate Noreen is lying on her bed in her room right now. Wala siyang magawa at kanina pa kami magka-chat nito. Naisipan ko lang talaga siyang tawagan.
"Sa hotel. Let's grab a drink," pagaaya ko.
Nalatayo siya bigla sa kama niya at nanlalaki ang matang tumingin sa akin. [Wow, Ayannah Miles Vegas, commited to someone, and here she is! Asking to have some drink with me? What the hell? Pinayagan ka ba ang boyfriend mo, ha?]
I am not committed to someone anymore….
Tss." I rolled my eyes. "Just go here."
[Hala, 'te! What time is it?] Tuluyan ko na nga siyang nakitang tumayo. I winced when I saw her in her spaghetti strap, and…
"Hoy! Are you just wearing a d*mn thong?" I asked horribly.
Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. [Oh? So, what? Ang init kaya!]
Umiling-iling ako. "As far as I know, lolo and lola are not there. May mga kasama kang house helper na lalaki riyan. Even drivers! Ikaw lang mag-isa riyan! What if-"
[What if they will go here and, what? Do bad to me? Ayannah, you are just hallucinating! They won't do anything bad to me! They know the consequences! C'mmon!] She cut me.
"Whatever," I whispered irritably. "Come here! Bilisan mo! And, bring beer! Do not forget! Wear something decent, too!"
Mabilis talaga si Ate Noreen pagdating sa ganito kaya wala pa man ding isang oras ay narito na ang bruha.
"Wow. You really brought hard liquors," I said sarcastically.
She chuckled. "Of course! Minsan ka lang naman mag-aya, e, lulubusin ko na 'no."
I opened the balcony and put the liquors on the table.
"Anyway, pinayagan ka nga ba ng boyfriend mo? Ayaw kong malagot sa kaniya, ah!" she asked. "Sabagay, we are just here in your room. Wala namang masamang mangyayari sa 'yo, so you are safe. I will make sure of that!"
I slightly shook my head. She is scared. Noong nag-inom kasi kami ni Ate nang hindi nagpapaalam kay Levi ay pinagalitan siya. I did not know that, though. Tsaka ko lang nalaman kung kailan kinabukasan na. I just explained to him.
I sat in front of her. Nauna ko nang binuksan ang isang beer at naglagay sa shot glass. Pinuno ko agad iyon at nilapag ang bote sa gita namin. Own shot.
"Woah, woah." Ate Noreen was so shocked. "Do you have a problem?"
Naglagay din siya sa kaniyang shot glass. I took my shot and the familiar fire in my throat happened again. D*mn, alcohol!
"We broke up already, so you don't need to worry anymore," dire-diretso kong saad habang nilalapag ang shot glass ko sa mesa.
Her jaw dropped before she could even drink her shot. "W-what? Are you really? What? Can you repeat that? Oh my, gosh! Are you serious, Ayannah Miles? Don't playtime me!"
Ngumiwi ako. "I am not kidding! I am serious. We are done."
Naglagay akong muli ng shot pero inagaw niya ang shot glass ko kaya bahagyang natapon ang beer. "What the f*ck!" I shouted because I got wet a bit because of her sudden move.
"I need your normal state to f*cking explain everything to me!" Halos magdugtong na ang kilay niya nang nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. "Why did you two broke up?"
"We just ended… That's it." I sighed heavily. "You know what, Ate? I cannot explain you the whole part of the story. All I could tell you right now is that the love that you believe is all lies. It was not true at all. I was betrayed by him."
I bit my lower lip because tears started to stream on my face again. Naramdaman ko ang paglapit ni Ate Noreen sa akin at niyakap ako. I cried on her chest.
"Oh my…" she whispered. "Sweetie, oh my god. I don't know what I…"
Wala na siyang masabi kaya hinagod niya na lang ang likod ko. I can't believe I cried even if I just drunk one shot! I thought I will cry
Nang humupa ang iyak ko ay ngumiti sa akin si Ate Noreen at pinawi ang mga luha ko.
"C'mmon. We break, but we also rise again." She smiled. "Do you want to tell me the whole story?"
"May linggo na rin kasi, and I want to forget so bad," my voice cracked. I started telling her the whole story, but I exlude the names of Alas and Krisha dahil biktima lang naman sila rito. I am glad that I was able to end the story without crying.
Nagpakalasing talaga kami ng gabing iyon at doon na rin siya natul0g sa room ko nang sumunod na mga araw. She just can't leave me.
I'm now checking the logbooks. I'm the in-charge for the employees attendance for today and I'm glad that we are complete so my workload is almost done.
"Aya, 'di ka pupunta sa exhibit ni boyfriend? Nakibalita lang ako sa mga kakilala ko na ngayon daw 'yon, e," one of my mates, Andi told me. Siya 'yong kasama ko ngayon dito sa lobby.
I stopped browsing the logbook. No one here knows that we already broke up. Ang alam nila ay kami pa rin. Hindi ko naman sinabing kami na noon pero sa araw-araw ba naman naming magkasama ni Levi ay mapapansin agad nila, we are not denying it though. Pero ang hirap pala kung magmu-move-on ka na pero 'yong mga tao sa paligid mo ay pilit pinapaalala ang nakaraan. It sucks.
Ang d*mn it! Ngayon ba 'yong exhibit? Did he still accept that one? It has been four months since I last saw him. Busy siya kaya magagawa niya pa bang makapag-isip ng ipipinta niya roon? Maybe, he didn't accept that one. I forced him to do that so now that I'm gone, he probably forgets about that. Napaka-imposible….
"Andi, I will go back here later," I informed her. Nilapag ko ang logbook at umalis.
"Nice! Support na support kay boyfie! Gora mo yarn!" narinig ko pang pang-aasar niya pa.
I wish I didn't hear that, though.
Tinanggal ko lang ang coat ko sa office. I'm wearing just the black skirt and white sleeveless. Naka-bun ako kanina but I ponytailed my hair now.
I will go to the exhibit.
Even if I'm not sure if he really joined the exhibit, I still want to see him... even just a glimpse of him. This will be the last, dahil aaminin kong sobra akong nangungulila sa kaniya ngayon. Siya kasi ang lakas ko kaya ngayong wala na siya ay hindi ko na rin alam ang gagawin ko. I get tired so easilt u like before when I was still with him. Those were the best days of my life to be with him.
There's a lot of people here in the museum where the exhibition will hold because they publicize this. I find it convenient though, wala akong planong magpakita kay Levi kaya hahayaan ko ang sariling magpakulunod sa kumpol ng mga tao. Nasa pinaka-dulo lang ako, sa hamba lang ng malaking pintuan ng museum.
I tried to find him in the middleof the crowd but he's not there. Nagpi-picture taking na sila kaya mukhang tapos na. I sighed heavily. I think he didn't attend this.
I smiled bitterly, slowly turning my back because he is the only rason why I attended this, but I stopped midway...
"For the last artist who will show his masterpiece. Here is Mr. Lee Valkiery Velez, the owner of Velez art gallery," the speaker announced, and the crowd also clapped their hands.
I frozed at the moment before facing the middle again, and then I saw him. Wearing his grey button-down shirt folded just right his elbow. Wala siyang pinagbago, he still can stood around the crowd confidently... but he is not smiling. He's just wearing his cold expression, paminsan-minsang ngumingisi sa paligid.
Siguro sa mga hindi nakakakilala sa kaniya ay masasabing this is usual expression pero ako, 0ansin na panain kong wala siya halos sa sarili niya. For me, he looks miserable, almost down. Paramg hindi na nga natutulog.
Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko habang nakatingin sa kaniya. Until now, he does not fail to make my heart explode like this. Sa kaniya ko lang talaga nararamdaman sa kaniya ito, or at least, when i am with him.
I smiled genuinely but it did not reach my eyes. I feel so proud for him. He still made it even without me.
I glanced at his artwork presented in front. My eyes widened when I realized what he painted.
It was us in Paris.
Or maybe, not?
The backround is the Eiffel Tower with the rising sun reflecting to it, ang paligid ng painting ay napapalibutan ng kumikinang-kinang, it made the whole scenario magical and enchanted.
In the middle, there is a couple who are hugging each other. Nakayakap 'yong babae sa batok nung lalaki habang naka-yakap naman sa baywang no'ng babae yung lalaki. They were staring each other, smiling. In that stare, I could feel the love and peace.
How I used to feel when I'm with Levi.
"How much is this, Mr. Velez?" some businessman asked Levi.
Levi shook his head lightly. "It is not for sale."
I gulped hard. Hindi niya ibebenta. Anong gagawin niya riyan? Ang napagusapan namin noon ay ibebenta namin ito at ang napagbentahan ay ido-donate sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, that was our plan.
Oh, well, as what I have said. That was our plan. Hindi na niya gagawin iyon. Wala naman na ako sa buhay niya. Kung ano mang gagawin niya riyan ay dapat na akong mawalan ng pakialam.
Muntik na ako sa maduwal nang bigla siyang lumingon sa banda ko. I panicked. Wala sa plano ko ang magpakita sa kaniya kaya agad-agad akong tumalikod at lumabas ng museum. I don't know if he sees me but I'm sure that he looked at me directly, in my eyes.
"Kuya, let's go po, please," I commanded to our driver when I got to our car.
I gulped when I received a text message.
From Love:
I hope it was you.
It was Levi who texted me. I did not change his name, I did not even delete his number.
"Oh, sh*t," I whispered. So, he saw me? But his message is playing safe.
My heart sank when I received another message from him.
From Love:
But still, thank you, my serendipity.
I tried to contain my tears but it already flowed down my cheeks upon reading his message. It still hurts so bad.
Before I could even reply to his message, I immediately deleted his number.
Bakit hirap na hirap ako? Ako 'yong nasaktan niya. Bakit parang ako 'yong guilty na mang-iiwan? Bakit ako? Bakit?
Ganoon nga siguro. Ang nangiwan pa rin ang pinaka nahihirapan dahil hindi namin alam kung anong choice namin, kung makakabuti ba sa akin ang iwan siya, kung mas mapapabuti ba siya kung iiwan ko siya, kung magiging maayos ba ang buhay namin kapag walang kami.
Unlike sa mga iniwan, they have no choice but to move on. They have no choice but to accept that people left them with known or even unknown reason.
D*mn it.
People may come and go in our life in the most unexpected times. It only depends to the person if we will accept that as a charm or a bad luck.
But he is my luck, my serendipity.
Then suddenly, our sweetest memories will now become my bitter dream.
~~~
- Writer
