Addicted to the Worthless Wolf

Episode 5

Siah

What is that amazing smell? It smells like pine mixed with bacon and coffee. I got dressed and went to the kitchen to investigate.

I should have known it was Mr. gorgeous eyes. I was surprised to see him cooking breakfast. That sharp pine smell does something crazy to me. It sends waves of calming energy over me.

I don’t understand how Kain can have this effect on me. He’s so damn intimidating and yet he completely calms me when I’m upset. I was embarrassed when I came down to the kitchen last night still wearing his shirt, but I couldn’t bare to change it either. I instantly relaxed when I put it on.

“Good morning sunshine,” Kain said as he noticed me entering the kitchen.

“Good morning, what’s all this?” I asked him as I took in all the food he was preparing.

“I wasn't sure what you liked for breakfast. So I made a variety.” He shot me an award-winning smile, clearly proud of his work. “It looks amazing,” I said as I looked over everything.

He made bacon, eggs, French toast, pancakes, and cinnamon rolls. “I wanted to make sure we had a good breakfast. We have a long day ahead of us. First I want to work on shifting. We have to get your wolf under control. Then I want to show you around the pack territory and we will see where we end up from there.” Kain said as he handed me over a full plate and cup of coffee .

“Thank you for giving up your time to help me. I really appreciate it.” I said before digging into this mouth-watering French toast.

“It’s not a problem at all. My dad is the Alpha here and I’m next in line. I want to be the one to teach you. Besides, it gives us an opportunity to get to know each other better.” Kain continued to explain a little bit about the pack as we ate and then he cleaned up breakfast. I think this is the most I’ve heard him talk since I met him, and he seems overly happy today.

Once we finished eating and cleaning up breakfast, Kain led me out the front door. With everything that happened last night, this is the first time I got a good look at our surroundings.

I tried to listen to Kain as he was pointing out and explaining the different buildings around his family home, but I was in shock at the mere size of their territory.

I remember them telling me they had around 200 wolves in their pack, but it didn’t hit me until now. The land is flat and you can see 4 rows of two-story houses with other roads going off to the side. It looked like the forest completely surrounded the area. The houses all had decent yards and were spread out a little.

"Do all of the wolves in your pack live here," I asked Kain.

"No, not all of them, some choose to live in the nearest town, which is about a 20 minute drive from here. They like to be closer to their jobs while also being close to the pack. They still come here a lot to run and visit. This is where we hold all the pack business and host all the events, so the majority of our pack lives here. Our land goes well beyond what you can see."

With everything else going on, I guess I didn't consider that you would need your own town to house 200 werewolves.

I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know all these people. In my experience, the more people that are around, the less safe you are. There is a large house on each side of the Alpha house. Kain said they were the Beta and Gamma houses. Just off to the right was a very large two-story building. I think Kain said it was the pack house or dining hall or both. I don't know. This is too much.

I could feel myself starting to panick. "It's OK Siah, we're going to take things one step at a time, there's no rush to meet everyone." Kain said as he moved in front of me to get my attention.

"Follow me over to the woods. There's a clearing a little way in that will give us space to let your wolf out, and we will be alone."

I followed Kain out through the woods and it only took about 30 minutes to walk to the clearing. It was absolutely beautiful.

I felt so small standing in the middle of the open field, surrounded by tall trees with the morning sun shining down on me. You could hear the birds chirping. It was so peaceful. I could see myself getting lost in thought out here for hours.

Kain turned toward me, "We need to figure out how to get your wolf under control. I have a few suspicions as to why she's acting so wild."

"Can she be fixed," I said.

Kain laughed, "I promise you she's not broke. Her needs are just not being met. For starters, she has been drugged and locked inside of you for years. Wolfs need to run. Also, she needs a pack to keep her sane, and by the sounds of it, you have never had one."

"I guess I can understand why she's so mad," I said.

"Wolf's survive by being part of a pack. It gives them protection and they have a need to be close to other wolves. When a wolf loses its pack, they are considered a rogue, and they are dangerous. Without the closeness of a pack, wolves feel abandoned and they slowly start losing control. Most rogue wolves eventually go insane and lose their human sides."

Kain continued to explain a little more about being a wolf and pack life. I realized I'd learned more about what's inside of me in one hour talking to Kain, then I did in the last three years of knowing there was a wolf inside me. Maybe training with him won't be as bad as I thought.

Kain started explaining to me how to willingly shift into my wolf.

"In order to gain control of your shifting, you need to relax your mind. It does hurt the first couple of times, but I promise it will get easier the more you shift. It's the most painful when you try to fight a shift. Just relax and picture yourself in your wolf form."

I started bracing myself for the pain, but Kain stopped me.

"Hold on a minute, your going to want to take your clothes off before you do that or you will have to walk home naked. Dont worry, let me know when your ready and I'll turn around. I also brought a blanket so you can cover up in between shifts."

I started getting nervous. The last thing I want to do is take my clothes off outside and expose myself to the world. With the scars that I have, I never want anyone to see my body.

Kain took his shirt off so he was ready to transform into his wolf if he needed to. I couldn't help but notice how incredibly sexy he was. I might not want him to see my used-up body, but I could look at his rock-hard arms and chiseled abs all day and not be tired of it.

Kain turned around, and continued to walk me through shifting. He was true to his word and never turned around. This set my mind at ease some, while I focused on my wolf form.

Before I knew it, it was happening. I yelled in pain as my bones started cracking. I could feel my arms and legs growing, and before I knew it, I was on all fours. I did it! The pain wasn't near as bad as it was the other night.

Kain turned around and was beaming with pride. "See, I knew you could do it." I heard him say as he sat on the ground and reached his hands out to my wolf. "That's my girl, can I touch you?" He asked.

My wolf started snarling and growling at him while she stared him down.

"Slow down beautiful," I heard him say.

It was strange. I could hear him but it sounded like he was further away. I realized he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to my wolf. He stayed on the ground and he put his arms out to her, encouraging her to come closer to him. She eventually went up to him and started sniffing him. I felt so embarrassed, I had no control over what she was doing. It felt like I was a passenger in my own body. I could feel her movements and her emotions, but I had no control.

Kain smiled and continued to talk to her as she circled him.

"Can I touch you," I heard him ask her again. She stared into his eyes and then lowered her head ever so slightly towards him. He rubbed his hands on the top of her head and down her face. It was an incredible feeling, and I could tell my wolf enjoyed it too. I could feel happy emotions coming from her.

I think she really likes Kain. Everywhere he touched, I felt amazingly warm, and I swear I could feel sparks erupt around his hands. When he moved his hand, the spot where it was felt empty. Almost like my wolf craved his touch.

Then it happened, my wolf actually put her nose up to his shirtless stomach and sniffed all around his stomach and chest and then slowly lowered her nose down to his pants and laid her head in his lap. I was so embarrassed, and he just laid there and let her. Why did he even take his shirt off? He had a big smile on his face, and I was dying inside.

He continued to pet her head for a little while longer and then sat up and asked her to run with him. My wolf nodded. My wolf turned around, giving him some privacy, and within seconds he was in his wolf form.

His wolf was amazing. He was huge, almost double my size. The one thing that was the same was his sparkling green eyes. They had me mesmerized even in his wolf form.

His wolf took off running and my wolf followed. They ran and played for what felt like hours. Kain's wolf led me through the woods to another clearing that had a small pond in it. He led me up to the water and I got to see my wolf for the first time.

I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. Her light gray fur made my blue eyes stand out even more. She had a cute little white mark in the center of her forehead. It was shaped almost like a lightning bolt.

The first time I unexpectedly shifted, my father was screaming about how ugly the monster that I had turned into was. I can see now how wrong he was. I can sense that she's strong and I'm sure she could hurt someone if she needed to, but she was nowhere near a monster.

We eventually made it back to the clearing where our clothes were.

I got dressed and couldn't help but smile. I felt unnaturally calm and relaxed. I don't understand what just happened between me and Kain out here, but I felt almost connected with him. Instead of feeling tired from all the running, I felt energized.

Kain

As I walked Siah back home from our day in the woods, I felt like my head was in a cloud. I cant believe what just happened. I planned on spending a few hours with her shifting back and forth so she could get used to shifting. Then give her a little time to get acquainted with her wolf more. Then I planned on showing her around our pack.

As feral as her wolf acted the other night, I thought for sure it would take her time for her wolf to feel safe and comfortable enough to relax and allow people around her. Especially a man, after what she's been through.

I was completely shocked when she not only recognized me as her mate but fully accepted me.

When she locked her eyes with mine and started taking in my scent, I felt like my world stood still while I was waiting to see what her next move was.

The minute she laid her head in my lap, I knew she not only accepted me, she was claiming me as her mate before she even met my wolf. At that moment, I knew the best thing to do was to let our wolves spend time together and bond for awhile. Siah hasn't said a lot since we started walking, but I can tell by her smile she enjoyed herself. I'm glad I got to be with her the first time she saw her wolf. I can tell she appreciated it.

The day turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined, and seeing the smile on Siah's face, was priceless. I would do anything to keep her smiling. I hope she had as much fun as I did. I cant tell if she feels our connection and bond yet or not. I can tell my scent comforts her, but I can't tell if she feels the pull and attraction the same way I do. I'm trying everything I can to resist touching her too soon and scaring her away, but all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and pull her into the tightest hug. I need to feel her in my arms. Her pouty lips are begging for me to kiss her, but I know she needs time. The wait will be worth it.

The human mind takes a lot longer to heal than a wolf's, and I'm willing to give her as much time as she needs. For now, I'll cherish the connection we shared today, and I can only hope she feels the same way.

Siah may not see her strength yet, but her wolf definitely does. She is strong and confident. She knows exactly what she wants and she's determined to get it. I need to figure out how to get Siah to see her worth. She's so polite and formal with me, it drives me crazy.

I cant wait until I can break down her walls and finally get to know who she really is. I want to know what she thinks about, what her desires are, and what she dreams about. I want her to be free from the past and happy.

My only hope is that she realizes she's already found her place in this world, and that it's right here beside me. I've only known her for a few days, but I already know I'll fight endless battles to protect her, and I'm never letting her go.

When we got back to the house, Siah turned to me and politely smiled. "I had fun today. Thank you for showing me how to shift more easily."

"Your welcome. We have a lot more training to do. Once you're comfortable with your wolf, I want to teach you how to fight in wolf form and human form. I want you to build up your strength so you can protect yourself. I don't want you to ever worry about someone hurting you again."

Siah looked at me, and her eyes got huge. "How much do you know about me?" She asked.

"Not a lot, Damian just told us how he found you and that you were being hurt."

"What exactly did he say?" She asked.

I couldn't lie to her, "He just said that your living situation was bad, and that you were being abused physically, mentally, and sexually."

I think all the color just drained out of her face. I cant tell if she's sad or angry or both. What did I do wrong?

"Have a good night." was all she said as she basically ran up the stairs to her room.

What the hell just happened? I thought today was a great day. We connected some and we were both happy when we came home, but it's only 3:00 and she couldn't get away from me fast enough.

When I went upstairs to get cleaned up, I could hear crying coming from Siah's room. I stood in the hall listening for awhile, as I tried to figure out what I did. My heart was sinking with every sob that came out of her. I couldn't take it anymore and I knocked on her door.

"Come in," she said in a sad voice.

I didn't want to embarrass her, so I figured food was a safe bet.

"Are you hungry? I'm headed down to the dining hall to get dinner if you want to join me."

"No thank you," she said.

"OK, do you want me to bring you something back?"

She stared out the window, and wouldn't look at me. She didn't answer me, and just stared like she was lost in her thoughts. I started walking closer to her as I waited for her to say something. When I got up next to her she turned away and looked at the wall.

"No" was all she said.

"Talk to me please, I know something is wrong. That yellow wall is not that interesting." I couldn't take it anymore. I cant read her mind. I put my arm around her and spun her around to face me.

"I'll wait, we can both sit here and starve together until your ready to talk."