Unpredictable

Episode twelve.

What do you want me to do fisabilillah? He asked. Do you want me to shout? Asked Muhammad raising his voice.

If it is necessary, yes. She replied. Nobody will blame you if you do. I am suggesting you let it out. You have not talked about her since it happened. You have not even cried yet. She said. It’s not that you have no one to listen to you. She finished.

Do you want to see me broken that much? Yea she died but remembering it tears me apart talk less of mentioning it. It really does hurt. Stated Muhammad.

It was true. Whenever her name was mentioned, he would wince. He could not eat or sleep. All he did after she died was to pray and recite the holy Quran. Salma noticed it. She made a mental note to herself that if being in love can destroy a person like Muhammad was destroyed,then she would never love any body. He looked sick and his face was pale and emotionless. Not that she could decipher. After loosing her father, she didn’t want to be close to anyone so she would not feel anything when she looses that person.

I know how it feels. She replied remembering how a car hit her father right in front of her eyes in the park. That day was the worst day in her whole life.

I loved her so much that i never imagined her death. Muhammad said as he slumped to the ground. He was finally letting out. It is too much for me to handle salma. Back then,only her smile would complete my day. That feeling of hurt when you loose that special person. It is the first time I am feeling it. And with these words tears started to cascade down his perfectly sculpted face,his hard,dark and chiseled features and a straight pointed nose which salma never noticed until now. He was quiet handsome.

You don’t really know how it feels. Have you ever been in love? He asked while wiping away his tears. I’m sorry i got a little bit…

No problem. She replied. His condition was devastating.

Salma felt bad for him so she squatted to the ground so she would be the same level as him.

Muhammad, what i have been in was more than a romantic love. He was my father. I do know the feeling. It will take time before you move on,but you will have to contribute for that to happen. Just pray for her because it is now the best thing you could do for her.

That’s what she wanted so stand up and clean your tears. Salma said grabbing the tissue box on the side table.

He collected it and they both stood up. It was the first time they talked heart to heart. He stared at her as he gave her the box back. He could not deny it but she was beautiful. She has big eyes and a slim nose with a petit mouth. He was surprised that she actually cared for him. Well may be not. She might be just a caring personality. After everything how could she care about him? It’s absurd and un heard of.

She was kind and caring. I never got the chance to thank her for everything. I lost her.

I lost everything. He said each word as if pronouncing them was painful. Do you really expect me to move on? Surely you…. He stopped midway,realizing what he was saying. Forget everything i said.

Muhammad it is okay. It is not that you have lost everything in the world. Loosing Kamila doesn’t mean that, it is a test from Allah. You have lost nothing. Just because she is dead does not mean it is the end of the worl… she felt a sharp pain on her right cheek before she finished her sentence. It was then she realized what has happened.

MUHAMMAD SLAPPED HER.

Unbelievable.

Yes it does. It means the end of the world. He stated.

Astagfirullah. She thought.

I knew it from the beginning that you have never loved her. Get out of my sight right now. He ordered but salma who was staring at him with tears cascading down her beautiful face was dumbfounded.

She could not believe he actually did slapped her. She was just trying to soothe him. Well that will be the end of it.

Did you just…..? She stammered not able to hide the shock or maybe bewilderment.

No answer.

Salma quietly left the living room. He was beyond her. All she could do when she got into her room was to collapse on her bed and sob. And that was what she did.

Muhammad stared at salma with a calculating gaze as she left the living room while settling down on a couch. He was furious and dizzy at the same time. His head was hurts so badly and his body was hot. He needed to relax.

********************

Salma came out of her room to grab a bottle of water when she found Muhammad lying on the couch. He had clutched his hands to his forehead and he was sweating profusely. He looked very sick.

Salma haters that she pities him after everything he has done to her. Unfortunately she could not just leave him that way. He was sick.

I think its better if you get to your room and lie on your bed. She said as she moved forward to touch his forehead. He was burning.

Does your head hurt? She asked.

He nodded his head indicating a yes.

Go to your room and I will get you a pain killer and a paracetamol. You also have a mild fever. And with that she disappeared into her room.

As for Muhammad, he did as he was told.

Minutes later salma entered his room with a cup of water,the meds,a towel and a bowl of water he supposed.

She gave him the water and the meds and she kept the bowl and towel on the bed side table.

Take this. She ordered again with out dignifying him by sparing him a look. She sat in a stool beside his bed and she started to soak the towel in the water.

Muhammad start at her still not able to utter a word. Her eyes were red and puffy. Well they were big enough. While soaking the towel he knew well what she was going to do. He couldn’t understand her. How could she help him after what he did to her. He slapped her. What kind of patience does she have? Doesn’t she get mad or angry at people. That is ridiculous. He kept on thinking while he stared at her. She squeezed the towel and dabbed it to his forehead.

Stop staring at me that way. I will leave as soon as I’m done. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. You. Don’t deserve this at all.

He felt embarrassed when she said so. So he looked away quietly.

Salma why did you marry me? He asked not looking at her.

She glared at him before replying. I have told you several times, I was forced to.

Why? He asked again.

Because whosoever forced me was inconsiderate of me. Your mother requested and my step mom wanted to get rid of me so she accepted the request. She replied.

Didn’t she care or love you m? Have asked again.

This time salma shot him a death glare before she said anything.

Do you think someone who loves me willl force me into marriage? And as a matter of fact,to someone who would slap me.

And the moment she said those words,Muhammad regretted slapping her. He had hurt her and there she was helping him.

Salma I’m sorry. I was…. I was… just….

Don’t worry. I will never be right when it comes to you Muhammad. I was the one who lost everything actually. The one who has no one. I have over stepped my boundaries when i said that to you. But it has been that way since he died. Living with nobody to stand for me,nobody to care for, and absolutely nobody to cherish me. It’s hard. Very hard. She said barely audible. It was more like a whisper.

He really did love you so much huh? He asked.

Of course. She replied curtly.

I miss him. My baba,the noor of my life. But that was then. There is no more noor in my life. It is all gone. All I have now is darkness.

Salma, you just told me that loosing Kamila is not the end of the world. The same thing applies to you. Said Muhammad.

No Muhammad. It’s completely different. He was my father. She said as tears cascaded down her big,puffy,red and beautiful eyes. The scene made Muhammad shudder. He really knew nothing about her.

Pray for him. He is in his permanent home under Allah‘s mercy and rahma insha Allah. He said trying to comfort her. It was odd. He was surprised it turned out that way.

LIFE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE. He thought.

He had never actually heard her out. Not even for once. She was just a person in pain who needed love and care.

His thought was cut off when salma asked him a question that caught him off guard.

Muhammad,you said you were also forced into this marriage. Why didn’t you divorce me then?

Hmmm. Mama told me that if i dare do that,she would disown me and i wouldn’t want that so i had to cope. He replied remembering the conversation he had with his mother the other day when he told he told her he wanted to divorce Salma.

Kamila,he started slowly. Used to tell me that if anything disturbs me,I should pray nafil raka’ats and it always worked. I guess that’s what I need now. He said attempting to get up when salma stopped him.

I don’t think so. She said. You are sick. Rest, when you feel better you can do so. She said sternly.

Ohh okay. He replied lying back on the bed.

I will leave now. I have things to do. I hope you will feel better. Salma said as she stood up to leave.

Thank you. Muhammad replied as he reached to clutch the towel salma has been dabbing on his forehead when salma removed her hand quickly as she made contact with him.

Her eyes flickered to his own and they stared at each other briefly before she looked away.

Muhammad cleared his throat feeling embarrassed.

It was damn awkward.

Ummm then, I’m leaving. She said as she headed towards the door when Muhammad called.

Salma?

Yes. She answered.

I’m sorry and thank you for everything. He said smiling at her for the very first time.

It’s okay. She said and left.

For some reason he felt bad after she had left. She was a good company.