Hidden Lycan. (COMPLETE)

Chapter Eighteen

I sat with my legs curled under me, picking nervously at the food on my lap. My hair still wet from my shower formed a shield around me, blocking me from the boring eyes of the four men around me. I still wasn't sure why they were all staring at me so intently, or what they wanted me to say. I wasn't entirely grasping what was happening myself. So instead of answering, instead of talking, I hid behind my hair. Because that's the coward I was. 

A heavy sigh had me looking up through the gaps of hair. Alaric leaned back putting his hands behind his head. He looked bored and down right angry. But why? It's not like I chose this, I sure as hell didn't chose to have him as a mate. But did we actually choose him? Was he included? I was terrified of him. Why would she choose someone that scared me so deeply? 

As I looked between the four men before me I saw the differing emotions. Some like Alaric was anger. But Lucas and Xavier looked hopeful, almost giddy over the idea. Eli, though not smiling, actually looked..happy. Some of the tension had drained from his shoulders, the stressed look on his handsome face relaxed a little. Did I cause that? I wondered as I watched him. I noticed how the storm within his eyes was barely there, how it was now calm and almost soothing. He almost looked like he was at peace. 

"Well are you going to say anything?" Alaric growled, tearing me from my thoughts. "I..I don't know what you want me to say." I admitted. Alaric snarled. "Who did your lycan claim?" He demanded. I flinched back at his tone, causing the others to stand and growl in my defense. "Other than Eli, I don't know." I whispered. "It's not like she always speaks to me. It's just whispered, barely there. One word here and there. She...I wanted to help all of you. I couldn't stand the thought of any of you being hurt. But I also can't help but wonder why she would choose someone that terrifies me." I admitted. 

Alaric's eyes snapped to mine. Hurt crossed them briefly, but long enough for it to have cracked my heart. That small amount I saw, told me everything I needed to know. She chose him, the pain in my chest from seeing him hurt told me so. "She chose Alaric." I whispered. Everyone gaped at me, but my eyes never left his. "How do you know?" He sneered. "When I said I didn't know why she would choose someone who terrifies me, it was brief but it was there. Hurt, pain crossed your eyes. That was all it took to break my heart. Seeing you in pain, knowing my words caused it." I shook my head and sighed. "I'm sorry." 

Alaric roared as he stormed out of the room. "How can I..she choose more than one? How can I have more than one soul mate?" I asked looking up to them. What I saw when I looked up made my chest squeeze. Lucas and Xavier were both looking at me like I'd broke their favorite toy or killed their dog. The pain and hurt in their eyes tore me apart. I shot up out of my seat not caring I sent my food flying onto the floor and threw my arms around the two of them. "Don't look at me like that." I begged burrowing my face between them. They sighed as they both wrapped their arms around me and held me tightly. 

"I guess this means she chose us too?" Xavier mused. I couldn't help the laugh that left me. "Yes." I said. "She did. I guess she chose all of you. Though I still don't understand how I can have four soul mates." I said pulling away from them. I shook my head as I bent down to clean the mess I'd made in my rush to get to the guys. Xavier grabbed my arm stopping me. I looked up to him in confusion, but he just shook his head and pulled me to my feet. "I'll clean it. Let Eli explain the mate situation." He said gently. I nodded and sat back down on the chair and pulled my knees to my chest. It was a habit, one I'd obtained a long time ago. 

"She wolves are rare." Eli began. "Wolves have taken mates from humans, fae, even vampires to try and help have pups and have she wolves. But whenever a she wolf gets pregnant with a she wolf, the child never makes it to term. So when there is an unmated she wolf, her wolf can choose more than one mate to help other unmated wolves. It's rare a she wolf chooses four, she normally chooses two at most. But you being lycan just means she is more powerful and needs more mates with her." Eli explained. 

"So, she...me, being lycan means she needs more mates because of her power?" I questioned. "What does power have to do with anything?" Eli smiled and grabbed my hand. "A male wolf would normally protect his mate. But a lycan is fiercely protective of her mates. He or she would kill for them should the need arise, which explains her behavior earlier today. She saw her mates in danger and she attacked. Her power, your power determines how many mates because it is a display of not only her power but ours. It shows we are worthy of a lycan. The more powerful the wolf or lycan, the more mates she draws to her. Power draws power." 

"Okay, so basically. Her power and all of your power draw, or call to each other, which drew our wolves together without us even knowing until now?" I asked. "Yes, that is right." Eli said nodding. "You all know that your power means nothing to me right? You could all be human and it wouldn't make a difference to me." They all smiled but said nothing. I huffed as I ran a hand down my face in exasperation. What does all this even mean? Where do we go from here? 

I pulled my hair over my shoulder and started braiding it as I thought. A soul mate? Four soul mates? What was I going to do with four men? How was I going to handle four men? Do I want to juggle four men? It seemed odd and a bit weird to have four men vying for my attention. A normal person only had one, right? Did I want to be the strange new addition to the werewolf world that has four mates? Hell did I even want to join the werewolf world? I've stayed hidden so long, acted human being a wolf seemed more like an act than the one I was putting on. 

I shook my head as the questions kept rattling around, confusing me and giving me a headache. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I whispered. "This is all so much to take in, in one night." They all stood as I did and followed me with concern filled gazes. I couldn't bring myself to look back though, because if I did I know I'd stay and try to comfort them. And right now I needed to get my head on straight. I needed to try and get answers to the many questions my mind was throwing at me. 

A relieved sigh left me as I sat in the chair on the balcony. Other than my place on the dock by the lake this has become my favorite spot, especially at night when the moon reflects on the lake. I leaned back and looked up to the endless sky filled with stars that cast faint glows. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked. "This is all so new, and Alaric scares me. How can I be with someone who scares me? How can I be with four men? How does that even work?" 

"One step at a time." A cold but even voice came from behind me. I tensed at the voice, I never heard a knock, never sensed a presence. He sat in the chair beside me but I didn't look over to him, I kept my eyes cast at the stars. "Why do I scare you?" He asked, his voice softened ever so slightly. That small change made me look at him. His normally cold blue eyes flared with emotion that he would usually keep hidden, his stoic face was now scrunched in confusion. "You're always so cold, so hateful. You've made it clear that you don't like me. Your very presence sends shivers down my spine. I know there is more to you, I've seen it, but you hide it behind this hateful, stoic and non caring attitude that is meant to keep people away." I shook my head slightly. "I don't want to be scared of you, but you make it hard." 

Alaric's blue eyes flared again before his usual icy gaze met mine. He grabbed my hand in his and squeezed to the point of pain. "I can't promise anything." He said, his teeth bared. "But I'll try." I gasped at his words. He was willing to try being my mate? Was that an option? Just try and see if it works and if it don't just break it off? That's not a soul mate, that's a normal human relationship. I didn't argue though, I knew this was hard for him and I was grateful he was trying for me. I smiled, and placed my free hand on top of his and squeezed lightly. "Thank you." I whispered.