Touch of a Rose

    "Rose hurry up, there's no reason for us to be late for our flight." As Mel walked over to me with her mid-drift sun dress and matching brown sandals, I couldn't help but sigh. Soon I would have to face reality and the real world once again. "What's wrong, didn't you have fun today?" laughing to myself, I realized just how childish I was being. After a full day of fun on the beaches of Waikiki, Hawaii, how could I possibly have anything to complain about? What could I not be satisfied with?    (Ringtone) *Loooooovvvvveeeeee, never knew what I was missing but I knew once we start kissin I fou*...Fumbling through her bag Mel rushed to answer her phone,     "Hello Eric?...No we still haven't checked our bags in… A surprise? Now you have to tell me, I'm curious…Come on at least a hint…What, that's not a….Eric hold on for a sec. Rose! Rose!? Walk with a purpose and stop dragging your feet, you're acting as if we're going to a funeral instead of home…Hello Eric?...Yeah, just Rose being Rose." As Mel walked ahead of me I could tell she was smiling by the way she talked. Catching up to her I walked at her pace. "Rose, go on ahead and get in line, I'm right behind you…Oh and Eric said Hi!" Somehow ending up with both our bags I made it into line slightly out of breath.     "Eric said Hi..." as I spoke the words I couldn't help but give a bitter laugh. Was this year away all for nothing? His name alone is enough to make my heart ache but what could I do, he belonged to my sister. Eric had been a close friend of the family for years and just as our parents or better yet my mother had hoped, he and Mel started dating not too long ago. Though most of that time was long distance due to my own selfish request to study in Japan and my mothers unreasonable one that I could only go if Mel came too. Honestly Mel didn't seem all that interested in Eric in the beginning, I know I'm just being petty but that's how it really was. Before Eric went off to college she completely ignored him and in all honesty it was me who he talked to and hung out with the most, even with our 5 year age difference. But when he came home after graduating, everything seemed to change, he was always with Mel, they were literally inseparable. He started a law school and it seemed as if our time together meant nothing to him.      He had chosen Mel, but who wouldn't; she was prettier, smarter, more talented, and a social butterfly. With her sexy curves and caramel skin and cruly mignight hair guys never stopped looking at her. She had hazel eyes that reflected the sunlight like gold and the way she could command a room simply by walking in was enviable. It seemed that any of my friends who met her quickly ran to her side, leaving me behind and alone. Why wouldn't they, I was a tall and awkward looking Afro Latina, without any exotic features to boast of. Despite being 5' 8" I wasn't all that into sports, especially after almost being assaulted at basketball camp in high school. If it wasn't for Mel and the rest of the team showing up, it could have been so much worse. Not to mention the rumors that spread after that incident which made me eventually have to transfer schools and Mel selflessly came with me at least that's how she put it. But Mel stood by me when nobody else would and really its one of the reasons why no matter what, I can't bring myself to dislike her. It was actually her idea that I start playing piano and since it was one of the few things I could spend hours doing, it quickly became my one escape from being constantly compared to my older sister in.      Then there was Eric, the first person to see me as me and Not 'Mel's little shadow'. But even he eventually succumbed to her charms. Although it was me who took care of him when he was sick with a fever when his parents were away on business. Only leaving early the next morning when Mel offered to switch off so I could sleep. There was also the time I stayed with him when his dog Simbad got really sick. Mel had accidentally given him chocolate and begged me not to tell Eric and since I was the one who was supposed to be watching Simbad of course the fault fell on me. Mel felt terrible but I figured it was better for me to take the fall since me and Eric were so close, WRONG! Simbad didn't make it, Eric ended up not talking to me for weeks. Funnily enough it was then that he and Mel started getting closer, Mel had to intercede for him to talk to me again.         Thinking about all of this is only going to make you cry Rose. We didn't spend this whole year trying to forget him only to cry at the thought of him. From behind me I could hear Mel coming closer,        "…I love you too, see you then…bye". She sighed as she hung up the phone, "I hope you're happy I came on this trip, you owe me big time." She playfully nudged me as she saddled up beside me in line. "Not that Eric could love me any less." her condescending words chaffed at my mind, I know she doesn't mean it but still.     "A whole year, I can't believe you let me drag you away from your beloved Eric for a whole year Mel, I wouldn't have done it even if you begged me." She just giggled,     "You mean the way you did in order to get me to go with you, that sort of begging?" her smile seemed to catch the eye of every man in line.     "You wouldn't come otherwise, your exact words were 'I don't see your sincerity Rose, try begging me'." Mel gave a doubtful look, while raising her perfectly threaded eyebrow.     "Rose you were practically on the verge of tears when you asked me to go. You said that if I truly loved you as a sister, I would go with you for the whole year. You went as far as to even bribe me, I had to give up Jon Hokins to go with y..."        "Ok! Ok! I get it. We both know Mom said she wouldn't let me go if you didn't come I didn't have a lot of choice here." Luckily my Japanese was better than her's so I was actually able to make my own friends. "What I'm trying to say is, there's plenty of girls' waiting to step in and take your 'precious Eric'. You never know, even I may jump at such an opportunity if one came my way." I acted as if something had caught my interest, not wanting to see if what I was saying bothered her, she was becoming more and more intolerable since she started dating Eric. Why? Why hadn't Eric picked me, why of all people did it have to be Mel? The silence was heavy until finally Mel spoke.     "Mmh, I wonder about that too, but just to be clear, you're precious to me too Rose, my precious little shadow." "Ugh, you know I hate that nickname." Mel's little shadow, that's what some of our relatives thought was a cute name to give the already older sister inferiority complexed me. "I KNOW you'd never do anything that would hurt me. Besides if Eric's and my relationship was as weak as to fall apart from a little distance between us or from the no s*x appeal you, then it isn't worth keeping." Somehow her words hurt even though I knew she was just joking. "Come on I was just joking , whats that face for, don't get your panties in a bunch. Anyways, Eric was supportive of me going with you on this trip, he cares for you too you know, sometimes more than he does for me." I felt a chill coming from Mel but when I looked at her there was nothing but concern and love in her golden flecked eyes. A sharp pain cut across my chest, if only she knew she wouldn't be saying those things to me right now. As Mel went to find out about our flight, I sat down on a nearby bench, just lost in thought.     It had been a year ago that I had practically thrown myself at Eric, hoping desperately that he would look at me, that he would see me. Not as a little sister but as a woman. Brief it may have been but I can still taste his soft lips and feel his minty breath against mine. Yet more so than that, I remember how he eventually pushed me away when he heard my sister's voice coming closer. He later told me that he and Mel had decided to date and he only saw me as a little sister, that I shouldn't use him like that.      Use him, ME use HIM...scoff     I was broken, I figured that was it, my relationship with him was finally ending. Yet, I was so wrong. After that incident he acted as if nothing had happened, as if things were better than ever. In truth, it was his selfish indifference that caused the most pain, his unchanging smile and constant behavior. Like I was some sort of child that had acted up and was now being forgiven.      After so desperately trying to cling to him and ultimately being turned down, I had anxiously wanted to run away. Which was how I came upon the idea to study abroad. I had heard about it from a friend and after a bit of research, figured it would be a perfect way to escape from it all. I'll never forget the long stressful days I spent raising funds to go to Japan. The agonizing pain that stabbed at my heart with every loving touch and secret smile they shared was what drove me. By just watching them, I felt as if I was being forced to endure the greatest of tortures. Looking on as the first man I had ever loved, loved my sister. Not to mention the trip was something I had accomplished with my own two hands. When Eric found out about us leaving he seemed a little hurt though I knew those feelings were mostly for Mel, I had hoped just a small portion was for me too.      In all honesty I just wanted him to hurt as I was hurting, even if only by a bit. I wanted him to have the one he loves far out of his reach, the same as he was to me. Yet now as I sat in the airport, I couldn't shake these grating emotions. After a year of being away from home, I had imagined a different feeling. Better yet I hoped for no feelings at all. Not eagerness, joy, or even this deep dreading that was gnawing at my very being,  I longed for nothingness. There were so many things that I had been pushing to the back of my mind during my stay in Japan. Now they were all rushing forward, screaming for my immediate attention.     "Rose!?" Hearing Mel's voice I shook myself back to reality, I was so deep in my thoughts, that I had almost forgotten where I was. Looking at Mel's concerned expression; I once again felt the throb of guilt pulse through my body. What am I doing? This is no time to be lost in my own thoughts. "Rose?"     "I'm fine, I'm fine, just a little tired that's all, it's probably just the jet lag."  After being bumped here and there for a time, we finally were able to make it to the check-in line. While we stood there, it wasn't long before our attention was brought to a man ahead of us, who seemed very frantic as he tried to talk with the attendant, whom appeared everything but willing to help him.     "Are you sure there are no seats on an earlier flight headed for Seattle? Please my wife is pregnant and she was rushed to the hospital, I don't care how much it might cost, I just need to get on a flight now! " The older bland looking lady he spoke, with wasn't in the slightest bit moved by his anxious pleas. As she searched her computer, in a very lethargic and couldn't be bothered manor.     "Sir, if you don't calm down I'm going to have to call security. Now, as I said before, there is NOTHING I can do. The flight is booked, so unless you're able to convince another passenger to give up there seat, you're not going anywhere. My hands are tied, so if that's all, please step aside so that those whom I CAN help may step forward." The situation had turned into quite the scene as the gentlemen stepped out of line. A look of complete defeat played across his face. He appeared to be so overcome with grief that the whole spectacle nearly broke my heart. As people whispered of the woman's disrespectful manor towards the gentlemen, none seemed too keen on stepping in to help. Just as he turned to leave I got an idea.