Following my parents' steps(SQ:The good girl is changing me)

Chapter twenty - We'll get through this together

Blake's POV:

I can't believe that Skyler has done this. She hurt herself because nobody wanted to punish her. This girl hasn't done anything wrong. I don't know why she had to do that. When I saw this, I felt really bad. I know that it's not my fault, but I feel like I have failed as a best friend. I was supposed to protect her, not letting her hurt herself. Well, now I can't do anything. She already did it. I hope that she will keep her promise and won't do this again. I don't want to imagine what will happen when her parents see this. There is a chance that the scars or lines, which she calls them, will disappear before they see them. The first day I met Skyler, I never thought that she might have so many problems. For me, she was a normal girl who liked to mess in people's lives. Now, I understand that there is a lot more behind this. She is hurt and that's why she wanted to help me. Skyler didn't want me to feel the same way as her, no matter that our problems were different. What I can do now is stay by her side and make sure that she won't hurt herself again. Maybe I won't be able to stop Missy, but at least I can protect my best friend. To be honest, I don't know we are best friends anymore after the kiss which I gave her, but in my defense, it felt right. In that moment, I didn't know what to do. I hope that I didn't confuse her.

Another day of me thinking about her. Maybe I shouldn’t kiss her. Now I can't stop thinking about this. I know why I did it, but maybe there was another meaning behind this which I don't know yet. I don't know if she is confused, but I am for sure. Now, I don't know how to look her in the eyes. She is still my best friend, but why do I feel like this will soon change. When I said that we could upgrade, I meant it as a joke, but I don't know if her response was too. To be honest, I wouldn't mind going out with her, but now it's not the right time. First, I have to make sure that Missy will stop going after Skyler. The other things are not important.

I woke up but didn't get out of bed. I checked my phone, but there were no missed calls or new messages. It's not like I expected some. My only friend is Skyler. Today we don't have school, so I don't need to get up early. I was about to fall asleep again when I heard a knock on the door. It was my mom. Why am I not surprised? Dad is not that interested in me. I mean that usually, mom is the one asking more questions.

- Good morning. How are you?

- I'm fine.

- Did something happen? You look worried.

- Skyler has done something bad to herself and I did something to make her feel better, but now I can't stop thinking about this thing.

- What did she do?

- I can't tell you, because you might tell her parents and they can't understand about this.

- Ok, then tell me what you did.

- I... I kissed her. I only wanted to make her feel better, but I think that I made it worse.

- Why? There is nothing wrong with kissing someone.

- Yes, but she is my best friend. I don't want this to change.

- Honey, Skyler will always be your best friend. The only difference is that you can do more things with her. - she said chuckling

- Mom, it's not funny.

- I am trying to say that you didn't do anything wrong. After all, you wanted to help her, right?

- Yes, there was no other meaning.

- Then you don't have to worry about this.

- I will try. Thanks, mom.

- No problem. Let's go for breakfast now.

- I won't deny that.

After breakfast, I called Skyler and we decided to go out today. The weather is nice, so some time outside won't do any harm. She has to continue wearing long sleeve clothes because her lines are still visible. I understand why she did it, but I wish that there was another way, which doesn't include self-harm. Maybe I can talk with her about this again. Let's hope that she will listen to me and, in the future, if something like this happens, she won't do anything to herself.

I went to the park where Skyler wanted us to meet and saw her sitting on a bench. I slightly walked behind my best friend and gave her a back hug. She didn't turn around, but I saw a smile on her face. I looked in her direction and saw a little girl playing with her dad. I don't know why, but fathers always have a special connection with their daughters. The same is for mothers and their sons. Maybe that's why mom is always asking how I am and if there is a problem. Dad knows that I am a boy who can take care of himself. I sat next to Skyler and pulled her for a hug. She rested her head on my chest and I noticed her lines.

- How long do you think that you can hide your lines?

- I don't know. As long as possible.

- Can I see how the disappearing process is going?

- Um... yeah. Why not?

She pulled one of her sleeves and I saw that they still looked new. This will take time. She can't even go to a doctor, because they might call her parents. I can use mine, but how can I know that mine won't tell her parents? I wanted to look at her other hand, but she didn't let me. This means only one thing. Skyler didn't stop doing this.

- Will you show me your other hand?

- Why? It's the same as this one.

- Because I know that you are hiding something and that it's another line.

- No, I'm not.

- Skyler, you promised me something. Does this even mean something to you?

- I'm sorry. It's just... there are so many things that I have to fix, so I decided to make another one to remind myself of what I have to change.

- I said this and I will say it again. There is nothing wrong with you. Just because someone doesn't like you, doesn't mean that you are a bad person. Maybe people were right about one thing.

- Which is?

- That you want everyone to like you.

- What? I don't want this. It's impossible.

- Then why do you want to change yourself? No one is perfect. Neither are your parents, but you can see they are ok with that.

- I don't want people to like me, but only to stop hating me. Since they still do it, maybe I did something wrong. I just want people to feel good around me. Nothing else.

- Why do you care what people say?

- Because their opinion is important. People talk bad things about people who have done something bad. I don't know what I did, but what people say hurts sometimes. Mostly they hate me because of my parents, but I have nothing to do with that. I didn't choose in which family to be born, or who my parents would be.

- People are just jealous of their success. Don't mind them and stop worrying about people's opinions. Focus only on the good things. You are an amazing person who loves to help people and she's ready to do anything for the people who she loves. I am proud of you and glad to have you as my best friend.

- To understand that you don't care who my parents are, or what I do.

- No. Actually, I like them. Your dad and I understand each other very well. About you... I don't care what you do, except if we are doing something together or you try to hurt yourself again. - I said with a serious tone at the end

- I won't do this again.

- How can I believe you? You broke the promise.

- I know and I'm sorry. I promise not to do this again.

- Let's say that I believe you. Now, what do you want us to do?

- I don't know. We can go somewhere. Do you play bowling?

- I haven't played for a long time, but I'm up for it.

Skyler stood up and extended her hand for me to take it. I won't lie that this feels good. Both of us walked to the nearest bowling alley. My friend wanted to pay for the game and me for the food, which we'd eat later. To be honest, I wouldn't mind paying for both, but I don't want to treat her like a poor girl. We started to play and I have to say that she is not bad at all. Actually, she is very good. Up to now, we have thrown the ball only three times, but she is already leading and has one strike. I feel like I would get beaten up by a girl.

After an hour of playing and three rounds in total, she won. The sad part is that I didn't win any rounds. I thought that she would start laughing at me, but no. There was something else. Her look was different from when we came here. I don't know what happened, but she looks upset. I looked at Skyler, but she didn't say anything and went to sit on a bench. Of course, I had to follow her. She kept silent so I pulled her for a hug and felt a couple of tears in the back of my shirt. I didn't say anything and when we pulled apart, I carefully wiped them.

- Skyler, is there a problem?

- No, I just felt sad. I don't know why.

- It's ok. Let's go for food now. I need to feed my feelings after this lost game. - I said and she laughed

- Ok, let's go and feed you.

We walked to a diner for food. While we were waiting, I saw that Skyler was somewhere else. I'm not surprised. Every girl daydreams once in a while. Soon our food came and I had to wave my hand in front of her so she could notice it. Both of us started eating in silence. It's visible that she is thinking of something, but I don't know what. It's not like this is my business. While we were eating, she said something which made me look at her.

- If there was another girl with the same problems as me, what would you do?

- Nothing, because you are my best friend, not her.

- But what if she looks better.

- I don't care. Why are you asking me all of this?

- Because I want to know why did you kiss me? This is the last thing that I deserve after everything that I have done.

- Well, you were upset and that is the first thing that came to my mind. I'm sorry if I did something wrong.

- No, you didn't. I just...

- What?

- Nothing. Forget it.

- Now you made me interested.

- I think that I liked it too much. - she said and looked at me

What now? Is she trying to tell me what I think? No, this can't be true. Moreover, I have never dated a girl. Yes, I have liked some, but that was it. I just didn't expect her to be honest and tell me this. Now, I have to tell her something, but I don't know what. She surprised me with this.

- I... I don't know what to say.

- Nothing. As I said, forget it.

No, I won't. Maybe I have to be honest and tell her the truth. I don't know how she will react, but it's better than keeping it for myself.

- Even if I want, I can't forget it. Do you want to know why? Because you were already in my head and this only made it worse, but the worst thing is that I liked it.

Skyler looked at me, not believing her ears. Yes, I said it. This is how I feel. We finished our food in silence. I don't know what to tell her anymore. Later, I took her home. Maybe it's better if we stay away from each other for a while or at least until we figure out what is going between us. I hope that we can still be best friends.

- Ok, I will leave you now. Call me if you need anything.

I was about to walk away, but she stopped me.

- Wait! I have to tell you something.

- What is it?

- I...

- Yes?

Skyler didn't say anything and just kissed me. That came out of nowhere. Of course, I kissed her back. That's it for being best friends. I hope that her parents won't mind it. I don't think that they will, but now we are not talking about friendship. Soon she pulled away, grabbed my hand, and made me go inside with her. It turned out that she wanted a cuddle buddy for a movie. I didn't say anything and only chuckled. Skyler went to the kitchen for food and soon she came back with popcorn and candy.

- You know that friends don't kiss. Even if they are best friends.

- Who said that I wanted you to be my friend?

- What?

- I'm kidding. The thing is that I wanted to do this since you kissed me, but I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry.

- It's ok. As long as your dad doesn’t kill me, we'll be fine.

- He won't. First, because you two look alike a lot more than you think, and second, he saw what I did.

- How?

- If you think that I can hide something from my parents, think twice.

- Actually, you hide something. - I said looking at her arms

- This is something else.

- So what are we now?

- How about best friends with benefits?

- I don't mind at all.

The rest of the day I spent with Skyler. I am afraid that the benefits will be more than the best friend part. Well, up to now, I have received only cheek kisses, but this is enough. It's not like I will complain. I won't lie that I like this. A lot. Her parents didn't say anything, which means that I am safe, or at least for now. I guess that all they want is their daughter to be happy, no matter with who. Well, every parent wants his or her child to be happy. I feel like I will have to talk to Mister Wright because I have no idea what to do. I mean his high school girlfriend is now his wife, so he must have done something right. Anyways, there is enough time for that. Now I will focus on my best friend.