Blue Dream

A will

“Master? We have felt your pain for three days now,” Jaw says, “I’m okay though. I will get better,” I say, “please do. It makes us angry when you hurt,” Jaw sighs. I put my hair up in a bun, walking out the room.

Three days since. I thought we would be over it. I walk down the stairs and see Ren walking up the stairs. I look down, continuing and He ignores me, walking past me and into his office. Another pain to add. “Luna,” Issac bows and walks past me too. “Hungry? Raven is making breakfast,” Matthew says as I enter the kitchen, “mm, I’m not that hungry, thank you,” I nod at him. “You both look f*****g dead,” Matthew then says. I ignore him as Raven kicks his leg a bit, “ouch, babe,” he rubs his leg, “Matthew, please go see if the pack wants to eat,” she folds her arms across her chest, “fine, fine. I’ll go,” he walks away after kissing her. Something Ren would do, I was missing his touch. His presence.

“How bad is it?” She asks me, “Raven. I want to leave this place… I thought my coronation was going to be filled with happiness and it ended up with me broken into a million pieces, I don’t deserve to be Luna of this pack,” I get up and walks away, before my tears can emerge again.

I hear talking and it’s Ren and Matthew’s voice. I slowly listen in, “Ren, she’s really f*****g broken right now. How can you stand seeing her like that?” He asks. Ren had bottles of vodka on his desk and some on the floor. Ren chuckles, “broken? She doesn’t want to talk to me so I can fix the broken she has. She disrespected me,” he says. “Ren… seriously? Stop being an asshole. You’re drunk,” Matthew sighs, “f**k man, she would talk to me if she was broken. I’m here hurt,” I frown. I slam the door open and go to him, “Ava,” he gets up quickly, dropping the bottle, “f**k you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” I scream and throw his things at him, “Ava, wait! Ava, calm down! Ava!” Ren shouts as the things hit next to him, crashing and Matthew stops me, “hey, hey, chill… please,” I push Matthew off, “don’t ever look for me again! I’m here, broken because you wanted to ruin my coronation! You should have f*****g stopped it if you didn’t want me!” I run away, “s**t, no. Ava! Wait Ava, please,” Ren chases after me. “Jaw!” I cry loudly as I run into the forest shifting. I see Jaw appear, growling loudly at Ren, “stop! You’re not allowed near her, damned Alpha! I warned you,” he snarls, “Jaw. Please, let us escape! Just, don’t hurt him,” Vera whimpers. “You’re lucky, Master is letting you live,” Jaw says and I don’t feel his presence anymore, “Ava, please. Ava… I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. Ava, don’t go,” Ren mind-links me, “screw your sorries! I disrespected you? It wasn’t my f*****g intention!” I block him from mind-linking me again. I felt the push of him trying to break the wall. I jump the border and hear him howl loudly. I heard the pain in his howl.

I enter Flora and Christopher’s house running to her and cries, “oh my god, Ava!” She drops the basket of beans and hugs me, “what happened? Ava!” She walks me to my couch, “I-I can’t breathe… Flora, Ren…Ren hurt me. Flora!” The tears were too much. I nuzzle her, “make this pain stop! Please! It’s too much!” For three days. I haven’t ate.

I stir in my sleep slowly, opening my eyes, “she’s still asleep?” I hear Christopher’s voice, “yeah, she cried until she fell asleep. She’s really hurt over this, Chris,” I hear Flora say, “I know, they’ll make up. They’re mates. We just need to give them time, Ren needs to giver her time…”

“You and I both know her time is months sometimes,” Flora whispers, “Ren better prepare,” my heart still ached. I ignore it, going back to sleep

“Want to eat? I ordered pizza,” Christopher says as I wake up and stretch, “mm, I’m not hungry,” I smile. My stomach growled, “you sure?” I sigh and take the piece, eating it. I feel the good flavor and eat it all, “how long have you been without food?” He gets up, looking at me, “three days?” I ask and nod, “what?” He was furious, “I’m okay now. I can handle it. I wanted to do it,” I reassure him before he goes and babbles to Ren.

I spent the day with Flora, distracting my mind. We went shopping for clothes and other things. We went to see a movie and everything. My mind was stress-free for a bit. “Ava,” it was Raven, “don’t… tell me what he’s doing, please?” I frown, “o-okay then… it’s just…bad here,” I hear the pain in her voice, “what’s wrong?” I ask, “Ren is losing himself to vodka. He hasn’t ate, nothing,” I frown, “if he wants to talk. He better stop that childish game,” I reply angry, “I know. Crap, Matthew is coming,” she breaks the mind-link.

“Is he okay?” Flora asks and I shake my head, “no, Raven says he’s drinking,” I whisper, “yeah. That’s Ren alright, typical of him. When he’s in a big depressed mood, he drinks his nights away. He really doesn’t do s**t but stay in a room and drink until he can’t feel,” Christopher sits next to Flora, “really?” He nods, “yeah, happened when his father died too. Then when his mom vanished due to the heart break of losing her mate,” I didn’t know that, “I didn’t know,” I whisper, “he’ll be okay. He knows when he to stop,” I frown, “what happened?” He asks. I hope this time he can stop. It would be bad for us both if he overdosed on alcohol. I explain everything to him and honestly, he was mad at me… not Ren, “Ava… I know you can’t understand, what an Alpha feels. Okay? But I give this arguing to Ren. He had a right to be angry, as an Alpha.. he wants to be the only one in charge and protect his pack, when another Alpha’s presence is overpowering that territory’s Alpha, it’s like challenging him. That Alpha is showing more dominance in a territory that isn’t his as if he was taking the pack away from him. An Alpha feels stronger and more protective of when his presence alone is the only powerful one, to put people in their place,” he was making sense, “just like how me and him were. How would you feel if you had to be the center of attention for a special occasion and someone else comes and takes your spotlight, wouldn’t you be mad? Even though that was your day?” I nod, “I would be furious,” I answer truthfully, “exactly. That’s how an Alpha feels… their power diminishes when they feel someone stronger than them, because they think they can’t protect the pack in that situation, that they failed.”

I look out the moon, “Sam is angry,” Vera says, I bet.. Ren is drinking, I sigh, “no, because we left. Ren is preparing to accept your rejection if you reject him,” that hurt my heart more, hearing.

“No, I would never,” I tear up. This pain was far more excruciating than any other pain. He thinks I would reject him? He thinks that low of me? I was confused, “mm, Sam says they felt it,” I hold my heart, “felt me rejecting him?” She hums, “yeah. We both tried to reject them, they felt it,” I wasn’t I was only trying to push him away for a bit, not to feel like it was a rejection, The tears roll down. My cheeks and I try my best to hold back the wall of our mind-link. If it’s true, once the wall crumbles, the emotions will be overflowing. I had to keep it up. “Raven?” I ask. Silence. They must be having fun, I smile and frown. I look back from the outside seeing Christopher and Flora kiss each other as they laugh. I was missing that.

Another day passed by. Six days in total, I’ve been staying with Flora and Christopher. The pain didn’t come down from the high. It was still up high and it hurt. I was not eating. I didn’t want to.

“Ava?” It was Matthew, “Matthew? Matthew! Hi,” I sniff, “talk to him… please? It’s been the worse six days, Ava. He’s only been drinking, he doesn’t even f*****g realize, he hasn’t given us orders, to do anything. Me and Issac have been doing everything,” I get up, “what?” Now I was worried, “Ava, that f*****g guy loves you. He’s more than in love. You can’t beat him up forever because of a mistake, he isn’t perfect. You’re making him out to be perfect, then get hurt when it’s not how it is, Matthew tells me. He was right.

I was expecting so much from this whole mating bond, but it is actually the same as human relationships, there will always be dark days. “Where is he now?” I ask, “in his office. It stinks of Vodka. That’s all he’s been drinking,” my heart stopped, “what? No food? Nothing?” Silence.

I was frowning, looking at myself in the mirror.

It was the seventh day. I was finally getting a will go back. Christopher’s words etched themselves on my mind and heart. Matthew’s words etched themselves into my heart and they kept reminding me.

I was going to make this right.