Lost and Found

A freezing gust of wind blows through the cracked window shocking me awake. I jolt up, sitting up right in bed. I look at the papers now scattered across the floor, the homework I fell asleep doing, and check to make sure the girls are still asleep. Sara looks undisturbed on the floor in her red sleeping bag. Some of the papers laying silently on her. Becca is still snoring, no one else seems to have felt the chill air. As quickly as it came, it is already gone. Making me think I might have imagined it, if not for the papers lying on the floor there would be not proof it had even happened. Its early August and the night temperature averages around 85 degrees. Wind that cold doesn't make any sense.  I  get up quietly, making sure not to wake up the girls, gathering the papers. I glance at the clock as it ticks to 12:01.     "Well happy birthday to me." I mutter under her breath.  Becca jostles and her eyes open, glaring at me.     "Shut up and go to bed." she grumbles.      "My bad."  As I shuffle the papers together and slide back into bed. I roll away from the girls to look out the window. Its hard to see the stars, with the lights from the city but the moon is clear and bright. I drift off thinking about how strange that wind was, and how uneasy I feel. Something feels different. I cant explain it, like something is coming.      I wake up to the girls rifling through the drawers trying to find clothes. I have already put all my stuff in my duffle bag. I get up and mumble a "good morning" to the girls. They mumble the same back. I head to my duffle at the end of the bed and grab some clothes and hurry to the bathroom before someone else does.      I wash my face, and as I'm brushing my teeth I inspect my face. Turning 18 is a big deal I guess, for normal kids. I'm not, Becca and Sara aren't either. We are foster kids. The unwanted and abandoned, some of us. I have been in foster care as long as I can remember. There are no records on my parents. Apparently I was abandoned at a hospital when I was 1.  It's not a big deal anymore. Some kids have a hard time with not being wanted. It doesn't bother me like it used to, I don't know anything different then foster care and its not so bad. I have been in some bad places. Ones that would make me scared to go to sleep at night. Now I'm alright. I got lucky, Kevin and Lyndsey don't bother me. As long as I don't get in trouble and I am home by 11 they leave me alone. We are just a check for them, but that works for me.      Staring at my face I don't see anything different. Same deep brown hair with hints of red, straight nose, full lips, same oval amber and honey colored eyes. Slightly larger then average forehead, the smattering of freckles across my nose and cheeks. I give a fake smile, letting my dimples show. I wonder sometimes who I got these features from. I look down at the gold delicate chain around my neck. Its the only thing I have from my bio parents. The necklace has a gold heart with beautiful filigree details carved on the front and back. They look kind of like dark vines growing out the heart. There are 2 gems on either side of the chain, ruby's, apparently. At least that's what the pawn shop guy said.  I have tried to pawn it several times, I could use the cash. Every time I try to hand it over something stops me. I don't know why I cant let this necklace go. Whomever gave it to me didn't seem to have a hard time letting me go.  I wonder why they would give me something so beautiful and expensive. Maybe they cared about me, at some point.  I shake the thought out of my head, if they dumped me why should I even bother wondering about them. I look back up at my face, I don't know what I expected to happen, I didn't grow a 3rd eye or anything. I just feel like something is different.      The banging on the door tells me I gotta get out. I throw on my black T shirt, its simple but it clings to me in all the right places and the plunging v that shows off the right amount of cleavage ,  wiggle into my skinny jeans, and pull my long hair into a high ponytail. I walk out of the bathroom passing a grumpy Sara on my way. None of us are morning people, I make some coffee, quickly put it in a thermos and head out the door. I like to get out of the house before everyone else. Its nice to get to school early and be alone. Its strange, foster kids are so alone yet we never get to be alone.      I make it to school and sit on a bench a little ways from the entrance, I usually sit here this early. I like people watching. Seeing kids getting dropped off by parents, others driving in with the cars their parents bought them. I don't look at them in envy any more, I see them more like aliens, trying to understand the feelings they have,  the lives they lead, and what their thoughts might be like.      "Happy Birthday" Erin whispers in my ear. Knowing I don't want to make a big deal she keeps it quiet and I smile at her grateful she isn't yelling it.      "Thanks, what do you got today." I ask as she sits down with a coffee thermos of her own.      "We are out of creamer, so today it is black, like my soul." she giggles as she hands it to me to try. It was funny the first time she made the joke. Erin is a Barbie, in here pale blue sun dress with big sunflowers and gladiator sandals, she does not have a black soul.      "Gross, no one wants your nasty bean water."      She mocks offense as the turns to the side and fumbles in her bookbag. She pulls out a little pink box and hands it to me.  I open it and see a yellow cupcake with purple icing. I give her a look raising my eyebrow in question.     "Blueberry lemon, with buttercream, I made sure they knew not to touch that cupcake with cream cheese frosting." she states with smug look.     "You tha best! You know me so well. Wanna split it?" I ask her offering it up.     "Absolutely not, its your birthday! besides I brought my own." as she pulls out another box. We both start laughing. We sit there a while bullshitting until the bell rings and we go our separate ways.   The school day was pretty uneventful, a few teachers wishing me happy birthday, bringing me unnecessary attention. I get enough attention as is. I'm aware of how I look and guys have been looking. I was a late bloomer but after the summer I turned 14 I was no longer a gawky preteen. The baby fat I had been carrying moved to other places. My nearly flat chest pushed out to full perky breasts. My waist got thinner as my hips became more prominent. I was no longer a little girl. It was fun at first, hell it still is. I'm just not trying to be serious with anyone.      School ends and I make my way outside towards the buses. I don't usually take them but I can sometimes hang with Erin for a bit until she has to go. I am walking towards the bench farthest from the doors, its pretty close to the track field, I like to watch sometimes. I love running and I'm pretty fast. I am just never around for the sign ups so I don't get to try out.   As I'm walking towards the bench I see a car come into view an all black chevy nova with white racing stripes.  I would know that car anywhere. Out of the drivers side comes Javier, he saunters over and leans against the passenger side. Bending his knee so his foot is pressed against the car and his elbows rest on the hood. He is just under 6ft tall, his dark hair is short on the sides and slicked back on top, eyes so dark they are black. He has perfect golden skin tone that girls tan for weeks trying to achieve. As I continue to walk I sashay my hips a little, he knows what I'm doing and he gives me a seductive smile, flashing his perfectly straight white teeth. Its strange usually a look like that from him and my heart speeds up, today...nothing.      "Hey mami, you riding with me today." he states. That's how he always talks, he never asks always demands. He is used to getting his way.  A couple girls walk by giving him looks but he ignores them. I'm what he has his eyes on.     "I cant today, I gotta work." I lie. I didn't even plan on lying, it just came out so fast, surprising myself. Usually I'm always down ride, but I'm just not feeling it today. He walks over to me and puts his hands on my hips. He is slowly pushing me back until I am pressed against the garden wall. There are decorative cobblestones that reach my waist with the shrubbery and woodchips sitting on an elevated platform. He likes to play this game. This dominant, arrogant "you wont say no to me." It doesn't get to me like it might other girls. I know its a game, trying to see how far he can push me, how much I will take. He underestimates me, most people do but I don't mind. It gives me the upper hand and they have no clue.      I look up into his eyes and give him a sweet smile, "Come on baby you know I wanna go with you, but I gotta make this money."      "That minimum wage job you got, you call that money? come on I will show you some money." he brags     I shake my head, I know how he makes money. His family is well known for being shady. I know Javi is up an coming with his family, being the youngest he gets the benefits with less responsibility. He is 21 and likes to go to the high schools and malls trolling for underage girls. Maybe they are easy for him, they swoon for a guy with a car that can buy them alcohol and flash some cash. I'm not one of those girls.  I mess with Ricky because I know what to expect. He's obvious when he thinks he's smooth, ignorant when he thinks he's being smart, weak when he gets angry. He is easy to read, consistently trying to manipulate young girls, but it as easy to manipulate him as he thinks it is to manipulate other girls.  he's not someone I could actually catch feelings for. He's a good time, he is hot and he thinks he's dangerous, to some he might be but to me,  I've seen worse.      I don't get the chance to respond. "Excuse me are you done here? cuz I gotta take Sel to work if you don't mind."       Javi just eyes her up and down taking a second before he steps away. "That's cool, I will see you when you get off. Catch you later blondie." he gives me a loaded look. Telling me he will be there at the end of my shift and I better be ready.      "See you then." I say as I blow him a kiss and give him a wink. He just smirks as he gets in his car and drives away. I smile knowing how easy he is to play. I know he's thinking he will get lucky tonight. Not gonna happen. Don't get me wrong I'm not a virgin or anything, but I know Ricky is messing with a few other girls and he isn't into using protection "it doesn't feel the same" he tries to tell me. Boy please I am not that stupid.      "Why are you with that guy? He's trash." Erin says breaking me out of my thoughts.      "Not all of us were lucky enough to meet our soul mate in kindergarten. some of us actually have to date around." I respond.      "I know you did not just call what you two do dating. He takes you to watch him play basketball, smokes with you and tries to get you drunk so he can f**k you. "      I just smile, Erin is the type to always have my back. We come from different places but loyalty is everything for us.       "Why don't you go out with Devon's friend Vincent. You know he likes you." Right on que Devon walks up and puts his arm around Erin's shoulders.      "What's up, what are we talking about?" He asks. They are ridiculously cute together. They look like they belong in a forever 21 ad. She stands about 5'8" thin with long dark hair, dark blue eyes,  and high cheekbones I would kill for. She says he gets them from her Cherokee ancestors.  Devon is 6ft, light skin, with dark hair and soft brown eyes, he has little stubble on his jaw which only shows off his perfectly chiseled it is.      "I am just telling Selena here that she needs to drop that dirt bag Javi and should go out with Vince, Wouldn't they be great together?" Jake gets serious and gives me an intense stare. I already know where this is going.      "Why are you messing with Ricky? Do you know what kind of guy he is? have you seen what he did to Tina? and I'm pretty sure he is still messing around with Erica . I heard her talking about him the other day."      I just shrug and Erin pipes in  " Exactly!! Tina's eye was really bad, it took her days before she could see out of it and she says he didn't break her arm, but I don't believe that for a second."      I sigh, this is not the first time we have had this conversation. "Like I said I know what he is. I have dealt with worse and I don't cause him any problems so he hasn't laid a hand on me. We aren't together or anything so he can do what he wants."     "Oh so you're ok with him beating up women? like they deserved it for causing him problems?" Erin gives me a look like she cant believe what I just said.      "You are misunderstanding me. What I am saying is I know the kind of guy he is and I'm not trying to get him to be my boyfriend. We just have fun. He hasn't hit me and for now we are cool."     Erin just shakes her head. "Whatever, if he touches you I don't care what you say I am calling the cops on his pedophile ass. What kind of 21 yr old creep trolls for high school girls. ew. " she shudders in disgust.      "Well thanks for the save. As much fun as I'm having right now with, bashing on my choices I think I'm gonna get going now."  I say feeling a little annoyed.      Erin sighs and and then shakes her upper body, ridding the bad vibes. "Fine. I'm over it. So what do you have planned today? you wanna come with us?"     She already knows what I want to do, and its not playing 3rd wheel.  "No thanks, I'm just gonna head to the woods, relax a little."     Jake gives me a weird look. he doesn't get it but I know Erin does. "No worries, text me later if wanna chill."     I nod and wave good bye as I start walking away. I head towards the nearby forest preserve, I spend most days when I'm not working, here. I love being outside surrounded by nature. I don't know why but it feels like home to me. I find a grassy meadow, away from the trails so I don't have to be disturbed. I am laying back, with my eyes closed, soaking up the sun when I hear someone.      "Don't scream"