Lost and Found

Chapter 12

   I get into a rhythm that is nice, I have started eating my meals with the pack, which is amazing. I feel like I am apart of something. They are treating me less and less like the side show oddity and more like just another wolf. I still haven't met many and don't know any names but its cool to be there, to see everything in motion. This is how they live, this is how I live and its a good life. Its been a couple weeks and I haven't really gotten to see blue eyes again. Just a couple times in passing but not at meals, making it difficult to strike up a conversation. I wonder who he is, but I am definitely not gonna ask. If I ask about him then he will have the upper hand and I cant let that happen. 

    Training is getting better and better, my sparring is improving and working with Octavia is a struggle. She pushes me harder to the point I am passing out several times a session. I don't know if its because she believes in me or hates me. She is pretty hard to read.  The days turn into weeks and weeks into months, before I realize it I have been with the Black Moon pack for 6 months. I have fallen into a routine and I am comforted with the consistency. Even though the training gets harder, it also gets easier. The more they throw at me the stronger and better I become. I have advanced to my age group now and its nice to get to train with everyone else.  I am no longer the oddity and now just another wolf. My relationship with Ez hasn't improved much, I hope with how far my skills have come that he would be proud, but he hasn't given me much. The pack still does not know about my ability, while keeping secrets have always been easy for me. Hell I used to lie through my teeth and not bat an eye. Keeping something this big from everyone around me is starting to eat at me. I am feeling guilty, the closer I get to other wolves, the more I get attached to my life here the more I feel like a fraud. I know that what I can do is big, otherwise Alpha wouldn't have told me to keep it a secret. It makes me wish I wasn't feeling so at home here I can lie easier if I am not attached. Alpha doesn't come around much he seems to have shut down a little, so I seek my need for family attachments with the Beta family. Idris and Camille treat me like one of their own and they all know what I am so I don't have to lie to them. 

    We now have a routine and I eat breakfast with everyone in the pack house. I have my usual spot between Isis and Cairo, its crazy how close I feel to them. We are enjoying breakfast when suddenly the usual chatter dies down. I look up from my plate of French toast and sausage to see Ez walking towards the table.  He walks towards Idris and Camille and everyone just stares at him. 

    "I heard you have been taking your meals here, I thought I would join you. If you don't mind." He says standing behind Idris looking over at me. 

    "Of course." I don't even get the words out when the people around the table shuffle to make room for their Alpha.  I have been eating with everyone for months and Ez has never once came down here with everyone. He takes his seat across from me and starts loading his plate. The chatter starts to resume but not with the same enthusiasm. 

    "So how are you liking it here?" he asks. 

    "Its fine. I feel like training is going well and the food is good. I don't really have any complaints other then the lack of free time to chill." I respond.  I notice a couple strange looks flashing my way, and I am not sure what to make of it. 

    "Yes you are on a pretty strict training schedule. From the reports I have been receiving you are excelling beyond expectations. I am planning on attending your training soon to see for myself."

    "Is that something you normally do? Going to training sessions?" I ask a little confused. He gives a small chuckle before he responds.

    "Well when we have a new wolf it is something I do to ensure that my reports are accurate. When we do have wolves trying to join we want to be sure they will not be the weak link. We understand some packs training does not start as early or might not be as rigorous, but I need to be sure they can adapt.  Besides I wanna see what you can do." He says with a sly smile. I laugh, its nice to see him feeling proud, hell its nice for me to have something to be proud of. "I will come by today." He says.

    I stop eating and look at him for a second. "umm are you sure you don't want to come another day? like maybe next week will work better for you?" 

    "Are you nervous?" He asks

    "Not at all. I just know know how busy you are, and I don't want you changing your schedule on my account."

    "Well I guess its a good thing I am free today. I dont have to shuffle anything around." He leans back smiling, I think he like seeing me squirm. 

"Cool sounds good." I respond. Trying not to show the sudden rush of heat to my face, I am suddenly feeling really nervous. I was hoping he would say something like later this week, not today. I take a deep breath, I really need to prove myself, I want this to be my home. We finish up breakfast and part ways, my nerves giving way to determination. I will be better and Ez will see that I have come along way and I deserve to be here.