writing camp+ Liberian Girl

English Version 0.7

*English Version*

When your heart beats faster for someone even with the little things he does, does that mean you love him or you just like him? Is there malice in that? But what if you like someone else and not the person who makes your heart beat faster?

What if you have a crush? What about the person you don't crush but he is the one who makes your heart beat?

How?

Those are just a few of my questions while looking at the school here under the tree. But what if the person you want to stand for wants someone else? Will you just choose the person who makes your heart beat but you don't love ?.

"Hays !!! I don't know because I thought of those?" I asked myself.

I took a deep breath and strained to convince my brain to focus on the book I was reading.

"PETER PAN"

But I don't seem to want to stop my brain from thinking like that so I just leaned on the tree.

What if I'm in the book? what if I'm the second lead? what if I'm the woman who forces myself on others but in the end I'm not the one to choose? Can I be Tinkerbell until Peter Pan finds the woman for him Wendy? Can I be the Prologue of his story until he finds his Epilogue?

I closed my eyes when I felt the breeze I don't know since a few days ago everything seems to be changing, Bryan from bad boy to good boy now he doesn't bully me too much and we continue to accept in front of Dad that we will be dating.

I also became close to Nathan, Chelly and Bryan as well as Christian.

Shane and Rose seemed kind as well. It's just that I'm not sure if he's showing plasticity to me, to us? or true that he has really changed.

"Deep down we're thinking there ah" I felt him sit next to me so I opened my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Can't we just relax?"

"You can't hurt me ... Does eyes don't lie." he then looked at me so I also looked at him, I was the first to avoid looking at us.

"I have a question.."

"What? What beauty product am I using? .. Well I was still in my mother's womb when my mother was really handsome, it just got worse now that I'm getting a little older" I just listened to her in her airs, I was wrong before I don't think This man has still changed, the wind is still here, signal number 4 ...

"It's crazy !!" he laughed and then asked me again what I was going to ask him.

"What if you love someone else and then someone likes you but you don't feel anything for the person who likes you? Who will you choose? The person you love or the person you love?" I asked him.

"He he he .... You know I've asked myself that before, whether it's the person I love or the person I love? ..." he said then looked at the emptiness.

"But if I'm the one to choose ... Maybe the person who wants me, because maybe that .. maybe you'll learn to love him more than the person you really want but someone else loves" When he continued I nodded at what he said and also thought.

Yes or no? If you choose the person who likes you, there is still a chance that you might fall in love with him, but it's a pity because you seem to have made him an option that if you don't choose the person you love, you'll just love him. It's like I don't want to, it's like I feel guilty when that happens. But if I chase after the person I love, maybe my hair will turn white, he still won't choose me because there is already one and it's not me.

"You know I'll just set you free now! Come on!" he said together and held out his hand to me, I took a deep breath first then I took it and he pulled me up. We first went to the library to return the book I had borrowed and then we continued on our way.

"The speed you really act as long as it's free!" he said making me laugh.

"Alas! I don't want to? Not everyone here will be free if there are any, you can just count them on your finger ... But thank you for freeing them ah" .

"Why are we here?"

"Shh let's just enjoy" he said then pulled me into the Carnival, the many rides were great and the many people were happy now especially the children.

"Bri !! let's go" I shouted when I saw the Viking rides I hadn't ridden here yet so I was excited to sit next to Bryan and just a few minutes later it started, the others were just shouting and still raising their hands in the air I'm just like that because it's fun.

"Ahhhhh !!!" I shouted then raised my hand in the air then we rode the roller coaster we are in front of now and I was even more excited because it's been a long time since I last rode the roller coaster the fun !.

"Let's go there!" I said and pulled him but he seemed tired so I turned to him and saw his sick face. "Are you alright?" remember my question

"You didn't say you were energetic in such things" he said as if wanting to vomit.

"I'm sorry just now because I went to carnivals again and had fun like this" I hugged him and repeatedly said thank you for the entertainment.

"Nothing, let's eat and then I'll take you to your house".

We were here at the barbecue just outside the carnivals, and while we were waiting for our ordered chicken, pork, and hotdog, we talked for a while, even though for a moment I could feel every stare of the women here on him. Earlier, before we left to eat, he dressed in CR for carnivals, so it grabbed his attention so he could continue to be an actor.

He was wearing a Black polo and as usual he was wearing black socks and then he was wearing a hat like Michael Jackson, I asked him why he seemed to look like what MJ was wearing?

"Wait, I just noticed that you seem to like to wear a polo then slacks and also your hat for MJ's right because of your shape" I praised him.

"Because he's my idol. Not only is he the King of Pop but he's also the King of Fashion, then my idol is kind"

"How come you said you didn't know each other"

"Why? Because he's just the first artist I've seen help change our world for the sake of our youth"

"I have a question, don't be angry! Why is MJ white? Isn't he black american?"

"Ahh is that it? .." I nodded "So he's white because Michael is sick his disease is 'VITILIGO' vitiligo is a kind of disease where you really turn white and there is no cure so my lodicakes turn white" he replied.

"Ahh ... Isn't he gay after he sold his soul to the devil?" I asked him.

"You know don't believe what you read and hear in the news .. Actually we are the same, because I used to judge him too, I used to say his gay, that he bleached his skin, that he was weird, but you know when I tried to research about him that's the time I really said sorry to him even in the picture, I really said 'MJ I'm sorry for judging you without knowing the truth' Because it's hard to live when you're Michael Jackson You can imagine that no matter where he goes, he is always in the news, no matter what bad words are said to him and others accuse him, no matter what he does in disguise, he is still known and then it seems like part of his life that is really followed by the Media from childhood to his last moment "I could feel the anger in his voices.

The sadness of living as a Michael Jackson isn't it? wherever and whenever there is always the media waiting to tell him bad things and accuse him of things he never did.

Yes, he already has all the talent for dancing, singing, and writing his famous songs but he didn't get what he wanted with his PRIVACY ..

Our food had arrived so we started, I was about to bite the pork when he restrained my hand.

"Wops ops ops !! let's pray first" he said so I took off the pork and prayed.

"Amen!" we both said then ate .... I ate a lot there ah the taste of the sauce and the taste of their mixture with the grilled ones.

"Bunny head? Knock knock?" he suddenly yelled at me while we were inside his car and driving and I was present sitting here.

"Who's there?"

"You?"

"You who?" what can its trip be and my name was tripled

“You are my heart and my soul my inspiration,

just like the old love song goes,

you are one of the few things worth remembering,

And since it's all true,

How could anyone mean more to me,

Than you .. "he held my hand then sang those notes, then he turned to me then smiled happily.

"I'm sorry, bye" I waved until I could no longer see his car so I slowly lowered my hand towards my heart which was beating so fast again.

"Pa? Are you still awake?" I asked from outside Papa's room when Papa opened the door and I immediately hugged him.

"Is it still like that? But it's unfair in my heart and mind?" I asked Dad as I hugged him.

"Why did something happen?" Dad asked me then he slipped out of my arms to look me in the eye.

"Tell me, who fought with my beautiful Son" I'm is to answer Dad's question I just hugged him.

"Nak remember that sometimes it's not wrong to follow the heart than the brain. I love you Nak" Papa smiled at me then kissed me on my forehead so I said goodbye to him to sleep.

When I lay in bed I thought and when I remembered everything that happened before and what Dad said I was even more confused I didn't know who and what I would prioritize.

I'm not beautiful, I'm not sexy, I'm not that smart either, but why me? why does he like me? it looks like I brought him and the worst I fell in love with ?.

*****

'flashback'

"Kabi, let's stop this ..." Bryan suddenly said to me while we were still on the trip.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"Let's stop .... let's stop from pretending .." he said then stopped the car in front of our house.

"O-okay if that's what you want—"

"Let's make this real" he interrupted what I said which surprised me.

"B-maybe that's tired Brya—"

"I love you ever since I saw you in that damn library, way back when you were still weird and nerd" he looked at me those eyes were familiar to me ..

"But I know I can't have you. Cause you already have Nathan in your heart .... how I wish I was him" was the sadness in his voice.

"Don't you notice? I always bully you cause I want your attention ... I want your attention only on me, I just want you" there were tears dripping from his eyes so he avoided looking at me.

"But I know I have no hope because ... Who am I for you? I'm the only man who tortured the woman I want, I'm the only stupid classmate of yours who is always taxing you just to get your attention"

he hit the steering wheel and then cried in front of me.

"I'm s-sorry" I apologize to him. "I'm sorry If I didn't notice you I'm sorry if I can't love you" I told him then got out of his car and wiped the tears that ran from my eyes I turned my back while doing that so when I heard the departure of his car and I looked at it until I could not see it

"I'm sorry, bye"

'end of flashback'

*****

I hope tomorrow I wake up and everything will be fine.

'Oh My Gee !! guys did you hear the news? '

'They deserve each other'

's**t, I've been admiring them for so long !!'

I just didn't listen to them and went to the classroom when I entered I immediately saw Bryan who was also looking at me now but I just ignored him and just continued walking until I sat in my chair and listened to music on my cellphone while waiting. Ma'am coming in with us.

"Good morning class!" ma'am greeted us warmly so I hid my cellphone and listened to our topic today.

"And before I say goodbye I just want to congratulate Ms. Chelly Natasha Ortiz and Mr. Nashrael Thanious Cebrey for the engagement, stay strong and stay in love forever" said ma'am our classmates applauded here and she smiled Nathan and Chelly to ma'am as well as us.

When ma'am left, I got up and quickly ran and went to the rooftop and there I cried and cried while thinking.

Are they so close to each other? Is that why Nathan can't love me because there's someone who can happen to him and what's even more painful is that the person I identified as a friend is the one he can marry.

Is Chelly the woman who always causes Nathan’s smiles? Was Chelly with Nathan the day I saw her smile as far as her eyes? was Chelly the woman Nathan looked up to when he helped me? Is that why Bryan always tells me not to love him Because I might just get hurt?

But why? yes she is beautiful, rich, smooth, and smart then famous and I know I don't have one of those but why?

"What did I tell you not to love him?"

"It's all your fault !!" I shouted in front of him.

"Me? Why did I warn you to remember?"

"If only you hadn't messed up my life ..." I stood up in anger.

"Edi, what? Edi, I hope Nathan is here now, isn't it? Chelly and I have been together for a long time. We're only 14 years old. Yes, my friend Nathan used to be my best friend, but that all changed when you entered my life! I met You! "

"This is your fault!!..."

"It's just me .... Just love me, I promise I'll change I'll give you everything you want as long as you want me ..." he cried in front of me but I didn't send my anger over him from the mockery and fighting with me then.

I pushed him when he tried to approach me and hold me then I ran away from him I even heard him call me but I did not look at him.

I came home in tears and I just cried and cried in my room, it's not their fault that I fell in love with someone I know can't reciprocate my love for him.

I'm angry with myself, I'm angry because everyone who is close to me is slowly disappearing from me.

I heard my cellphone ring so I answered it without looking at who was calling me.

"H-hello?" I replied as I wiped the tears from my eyes and cheeks.

"Hey are you okay? I saw you earlier in a hurry to leave, are you okay?"

"ah? ... Yes I'm okay Chelly" no, I'm not okay.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to go there? Where are you now?"

"Don't let me just rest at home because I suddenly had a headache earlier" I lied

"Are you sure—"

"Congrats to you Nathan" I interrupted him while suppressing my sobs.

"Thanks for coming to our wedding ah you and Bryan!" he said excitedly.

"All right, I'll look ... I'll go downstairs, I'll just sleep"

"All right don't forget to drink your medicine okay, bye" I turned off my phone and calmed myself.

Now I realize that they are right for each other and I was just very hurt because I thought I had hope in him, I thought he also felt for me, but I just thought that was all.

They are both kind, beautiful and handsome, the family is capable and most of all they are things because they love each other and I should be happy there. For Chelly and Nathan, it must be for myself.

I woke up because of the noise below so I got up and decided to go down to see what was going on there. When I went down I saw a lot ready and there was more lechon and cake, wait, what's up?

"This oh give it to uncle" I looked at him far away from Bryan I saw last time I took the gift he gave.

"What's this for?"

"I knew it ... today is tito's birthday!" he said I was surprised so I looked at the calendar in the living room. Yes, it's my dad's birthday but I forgot about that?!?!

"I know you're mad at me and I also know that you lost your mind that it's Tito's birthday today because of what happened yesterday"

he then smiled at me. "So that's why I just bought a gift for my uncle"

I don’t know what my reaction would be if I was still angry with him? or I'm still really confused until now, I hope that my sadness and anger with myself will end so that I can learn to love the people around me ...

****

Song title: You

By: Carpenters

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