Love me

chapter 19

“He is someone very important to me.” Alexander said his mood turning gloomy. That was Addison’s cue to act cute, “Is he more important than me?” Alexander laughed at him as he pouted his lips but he did not answer the question. What was he supposed to say? That Xavier meant the world to him. Not a single person could compare to him. He was not about to hurt the poor child’s feelings.

Xavier had gone through the worst to find Alexander. His father’s men were after him but because of Ellen he could easily dodge them but that did not apply to Alice’s. So far the information he had got from the past four towns lead him to Waternana. He arrived the previous day and he had not gotten any information so far. He was thinking of moving to the next city because it was taking too long to get information about Alexander. He did not want to waste his time on meaningless things when Alexander could be dying wherever he is. That was his idea until he heard a commotion from one of the stalls. He went to check what had happened but when he arrived at the scene the crowed was scattering. He stopped a one of the woman and asked what happened. “That Alexander will not live to see the following day after what he did.” Xavier did not know how to react when he heard Alexander’s name being mentioned. “Where is he now ma’am?” he asked desperately, worry visible in his eyes. At last he had found Alexander’s whereabouts but he was in trouble. And according to this lady’s words, it was not a minor issue but a major one. “Why should I tell you? Do you want me to die as well? You must not be from here or else you would have known that we are not supposed to talk or pass information about that sophisticated family.” The lady huffed and walked away from Xavier not saying another word. Xavier felt like he just moved million and one steps back. He was so close in finding Alex and now he feels so lost. The worst part is that he was currently in danger that is why he was panicking. For what he had heard from Alexander when they had a joined dream, he was injured and without doubt if that lady said he was not going to live to see the day, there were more chances of her being right than wrong.

Back in the mansion.

Alexander was a b****y mess, literally and figuratively. He was covered in blood that oozed from his veins causing a river of blood to run down from every part of his body to the floor he knelt in as his father whipped him mercilessly. Without fighting back Alexander accepted the whips. He felt he deserved them even though what had happened was not his fault. He felt that he failed as a brother. “How dare you put my one and only son in danger you rogue. How dare you even lead him out of the mansion? If my son dies it will be on you. His blood will be on your hands and I will not let you have a peaceful life or death, mark my words.” Abraham roared tears tickling the corners of his eyes. He wanted to kill Alexander then but he did not want him to have a quick death. “Clean this mess up and pray that Addison wakes up.” Abraham shot at Alexander as he dropped the whip and headed to the room of his son holding his long furry rob at the sides as he ascended the stair case. Alexander had cried and begged for mercy many times that his silent tears were something common. Who was he going to cry out loud for? No one cared or loved him in this family. Forget this family, the town alone despised him for a reason he was not even aware of. Nobody loved him. The only person who loved him was his mother and she was no longer with him. He thought that Xavier at least liked him but he started to even doubt that. Maybe he also felt pity on me as I was nothing but an outcast, Alexander thought to himself, the salty water rolling down his face causing his wounds to sting but pain was something he was used to and did not even care about. “You better clean that blood from the floor, it does not look pleasant at all.” A maid yelled at him. Even the least important people treated him like an animal showing exactly where his position was. He slowly stood up as he went to fetch water from the well in a not too far distance. His body hurt with each step he took and to make things worse the bucket was not at all light and it was without the water. This was the moment that he wished he had died. How stupid of him to even believe in a weird dream he had. He felt like an i***t as he passed the workers of the mansion. “Hey, Alexander. Ha ha ha, who did you think you were huh? The son of the master. You sure don’t look like one write now. Ohh poor you. If I were you I would hand myself especially now that even the only person who actually gave importance to you is now laying on his death bed and it is your fault. You really are nothing but a curse and a waste of space.” The workers mocked him as they followed him to the well as he did not stop when thy called for him. Every word said to him cut deeper that a knife. He felt exactly how they described him. He did not know the purpose of his life. Alexander was suddenly brought back to life by the sharp pain he felt from the kick of one workers in grey ropes that looked like they have not been cleaned for days. He fell down almost falling inside the well. He was rapidly kicked in the stomach like these people were only using him as a stress reliever from their own problems because they knew he would not be able to fight back. After sometime they left, leaving to deal with the pain and the loneliness inside him. The silent tears rolling down his cheeks once again.  Just a year and few months back he was the happiest person then suddenly everything came falling down. He was not destined to be happy at all.The little hope that was left in his heart perished, the joyous Alexander completely left him body leaving only an undescribed Alexander within his hallow body. All of this would not have occurred if Xavier left him alone. Deep in his heart, Alexander knew that this was not because of Xavier but he needed someone to blame for his unfortunate life. And the darkness that had clouded his brain and eyes forced him to blame Xavier. It was him who refused his father’s orders dragging him to his problems. He was like this because of him.

Alexander walked back to the mansion and started cleaning his blood from the marble floor. His action seemed useless as he kept on staining the floor again causing a frustration flood his mind. He found himself yelling loudly as he violently scrubbed the floor. Tears running down his cheeks. He was crying out loud. He could not handle the feelings that were bubbling in his throat. The lump that cut his breath. The heart that clenched causing unbearable pain. Suddenly a whip meat with his skin. “Shut up you piece of trash! First you hurt my son and now you are making noise as if this is your house!” Beatrice roared. She was angry and said and she did not want to be pissed. His son was laying not waking up after the accident he had meet with under this moron’s vision. Beatrice continued to hit Alexander, “This will be your punishment until Add wakes up. Until he fully heals.” She said and dropped the whip on the ground leaving a crying Alexander on the floor. Even though pain was something that Alexander was used too, the pain of the leather whip was never something he could get used to. The pain tingled on his body like he got an electric shock, not knowing how to stop it. All he could do was lie on the ground and cover his mouth so that ne does not make any noise as he cried. He got up and clean the blood on the floor and hung the whip in its place. He hurriedly went to the room he was given to sleep on so that he could cry himself to sleep. He could not even make it there as he fell to the ground overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness and pain. He cried out, “Mother look at your son. He is officially nothing. He has no one with him. He is alone even the heavens are against him. Why would they be for him, I am nothing but gay, am I not. I know you knew mama. What would be the reason for you to constantly remind me that God loved me the way I am. Does he really love me? Do you really love me God or did my mother lie to me just to make me feel better about myself. My mother never lies to me though, so you must love me. Then why am I suffering like I have committed an unforgettable sin?”