Empty (18+)

"Emptyness.... It's an weird feeling. Did you ever feel something missing in your life? You're perfectly healthy, but feel like something is wrong with you? Mentally stable, but feel like you have major issues? Your life is perfect, but something is missing? If you have never felt that, I probably could never explain it. All i can say then is, it's an forever realisation something is missing or wrong, but you don't know what it is.The happy smiles people put on their faces and the feelings that comes with it, is an foreign concept to me. Just like every emotion people descripe to me. This is what's stuck in my head. You ever felt that?" is i say to my victim. *muffled sounds* "Oh yeah , let me remove that for you, but don't scream okay?" and i regret doing so right away. Victim: "AAAH SOMEONE! HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!" I hit her with my fist and she shuts up right away. I ask her; " now my speech. Did you ever feel that way? Even for an second?" My victim tells me stuttering between her sobs; n..noo .. i c-can't s-say i-i ever f-felt that w-way." I sigh and say; "ofcourse you didn't. Nobody ever does. I can see you're scared as f*ck right now. And in the time I stalked you, you also never showed it."  Victim: " is that why your *gulp* g-gonna k-k-kill me?" Me: "It wouldn't matter if you did, cause this isn't about you." I grap my knife from the table and look into her eyes as i plunge my knife into her. I twist and keep looking into her eyes until i see her life fading away. She's screaming and scratcing my hands in atempt to get the knife out of her as her instinct comments her to do and not thinking about the fact that it would make the blood flow out of her faster and surely killing her. I drag the knife across her stomach and see the realisation in her eyes that she knows she done for now. Now it becomes self pity. She starts crying.  What would she be thinking now?  Why her? It was an random choice.  How could she have avoided this? i prepare very carefully, but it would have been possible. Why am i doing this? Easy, research. *coughing* Oh yeah back to the test subject at hand. I pull out the knife and cut her loose. As my victim desperately tries to look for something to treat her wound, i study her. The emotions she shows and how much she shows me. I study her priorities. My victim realises she can't find any and looks at me. i look back. Suddenly the weirdest thing happens. She turns into an wolf. I'm stunded or i should be. i just tilt my head. She comes charging at me. I grab my metal bad off the table and swing at her as she jumps into the air. Launching her into an wall. She yelps and somehow gets up again. Okay time to stop this experiment. I run to my tool bench and grab the chainshaw. As she collects herself, i try to start the d*mn thing. She charges again at me and jumps into the air in atempt to bite my head off. Seconds before her teeth snap before my face, i could start the chainshaw and plunge it into her belly. I push her to the ground and split her to the head up.  I drop the still running chainshaw and take an deep breath.  I guess i can extent my research to mythical beings.  I stop the chainshaw. I collect her blood in jerrycan and chop up the wolf-girl into pieces. I throw them into an hole in the ground. The only piece of ground without cemend. I pour gasoline on her and start the fire.  As i watch the fire is think back to where  and when it all started. The speech i gave are my thoughts. When i was 7, i read that human emotions are the highest and strongest surrounding death. So i put that to the test. I grabbed my little brothers pet dog, an knife and killed it. Right afterwards i got my brother and showed him so i could study his reactions. My theorie was proven right with this test and i learned a lot about human emotions right then and there. Only my 7 year old brain did not think about what would happen afterwards.  While my brother was crying, my parents came into the living room where this all happened and gasped. My father yelled at my why i did this, cause i was still holding the knife. I looked at it and realized somehow i should not tell then the real reason why i did it. so i told them the voice made me. I was thrown into therapie and that was the end of it, or so they think.  Now i fake my emotions, but also learned i needed to really understand emotion. Someone was bound to find out i was faking and copying mine. With that they could also find out my research. It's not that i wanna keep it a secret, it's just that society wouldn't accept this and living in prison is not gonna help my research. The only feeling i have, is researching emotions and reactions.  The room i'm currently in is an warehouse i own. I had it made soundproof and one hall to myself. The other 3 parts i rented out. This money goes straight into my research. My room was strictly off limits to the others. They needed something, they should call me. In this room was everything i needed for my research. An chair for the victim to sit in and be bound. And table with al sorts of weapons and torture devices. An desk with an computer set-up with an profiling board next to it. An bookcase filled with biology books, psychology books and notebooks filled with my own research. an toolbench, an small batchroom, and small bedroom, open kitchen and the 'hell hole'. The hell hole is an deep hole in the ground not covert with cement. It was the hole i used to dispose of my victims and burn them to asses. Deep enough to be used multiple years worth off bodies. If an body was on fire it was like looking down to hell, so that's why i called the hell hole. i come back to myself and grab my note book from the bookcase. This notebook was marked Victim 018. I changed her believes from cult like to werewolf. some of the weird behavior i noted i now gave werewolf behavior? as motive.  entry note#407: *i descripted al the emotion she had during the proces off killing her.*  Conclusion: With finding this new spicies, i still feel nothing.  TEST: FAILED. I sigh and put the notebook back. I go to the profile board and grab everything on it and also throw it into the hell hole which was still burning the body.  I clean the room with bleach and take an shower. I go behind my computer and delete my victims whole online life. From social media to their digital footprint of her phone. Nobody could ever find something from her again online. Hence i was dubbed the never-exicted killer, cause online speaking she now never exicted. I check the time and see it's time to go to unversity. I grap all i need and look the door off my private hall. In this hallway i can hear sounds and voices of the 3 other small bussineses. An empty warehouse is always looked into for missing people and an busy warehouse in the middle of the city would be very low on the list, but never off it.  I go to my uni in my normal car and an walk into class. I can see an new group of people. Somehow the whole group looked at me. They did something weird with their noses and looked angry. correction very angry. very interesting. 1 guy looked shocked to see me. Did he known me? What was happening? .... Shit, can they smell the wolf-girl on me? Do they know now?  I know they know now, but I'm not scared. I just wanna contine my research and have anyone take it.  I need to go back and secure my research.  Suddenly an hand is on me, forcing me in place. It's the shocked guy.  Shocked guy: "sit with us." They don't know i know about them knowing it's me. and me knowing they are probabyly also wolves. I can't fight an group of them. Wolf-girl i barely survived.  Shocked guy: "I want to get to know the other werewolves here." I'll go with that for now.