The Silver Creek Wolves: The Gamma's Heartache

8. Mandy

Blake helped me move my belongings to his room. You would think he was a kid making room for new toys on Christmas morning. He promised he would take me shopping, but my parents were bringing the rest of my things this weekend, so I told him to hold his horses.

After that, we snuggled into bed and made out for a bit before falling asleep in each other's arms. I really do love Blake, and I appreciate what he said and how he feels. I just don't know how I walk away from what I have always wanted.

The next morning after breakfast, Luna and I finalized all the plans for the dinner with my parents. I let her know how much I appreciated her help. She said it was an honor to have the Gamma from an allied pack join us for dinner and welcome them as future family.

With everything Blake and I had been through in the last couple of days, it seemed as though I had been here for weeks. I missed my family, but I was making friends and feeling welcomed here. The warrior training was continuing well, and the stronger warriors were beginning to emerge.

My parents heard that the King and the Prince were coming the following week, so they were bringing my whole family and my best friend since her parents insisted on her representing them in front of the King and staying the whole time.

While I missed my family and I wanted Jamie's advice, I needed space to decide what to do on my own. I would have to live with the consequences of my decision. They get to go home and continue with their lives. I have to face Blake one way or the other.

After I was done with Luna, I went out to the training grounds and met up with the warriors. Blake was busy putting them in their groups for the following week. They would have the next three days off to acclimate themselves to the area. get to know some of the other wolves of this pack and those visiting, and potentially find their mate if they were here.

Blake and I went around and reminded everyone that they are still required to run and lift, even on their days off, and they are to track their times and lifted weight. We also reminded them to behave themselves as they are guests here, and the King and Prince are due here any day.

Most were receptive and grateful for the time off. Some wanted to keep the training going. Blake and I were happy for more time to be alone.

Blake approached me after he was done with his last group, "Hey, I have to go to Western Star, I would love for you to come with me."

"I would love to. Would we have time for you to show me some of what my responsibilities will be when I become the Gamma Female?"

Blake's face broke out in a big smile and I almost hope he doesn't think I have made my final decision, but his next comment tells me he is keeping a level head, even if his face says his heart is hopeful. "If it helps you choose to stay with me, I will show you anything you want love." With that, he grabs my hand, kisses my cheek, and pulls me back to our room.

After Blake takes a quick shower, he comes out dressed to head to the office. If I thought his workout look was hot, his business casual pants that are fitted to his ass and his tight-fitting polo shirt have me all hot and bothered. I look at myself and feel extremely underdressed in my jeans and sweater. I run into the closet and change into one of my sundresses, a pair of flats, and a cardigan so we can head over to Western Star.

When we get there, Blake shows me my office and introduces me to the lady who will help me redecorate it so I am comfortable while I am here. Blake gets me situated and introduces me next to the heads of the departments. I schedule a lunch meeting with the head of training for the following week so I can get to know him and see what if any changes need to be made.

Blake takes me through a door in my office that leads directly to his. He leads me in and turns to hold both my hands. I realize when I look around that we are alone. "No matter where we are, even here, we are equals. You are here to help me run this company as we see fit. My mother was given the same opportunities, and she turned them down. Though, she did spend quite a bit of time in council with the Luna, another of your responsibilities as the Gamma Female. I know the Luna thinks highly of you already. You can have as much or as little work here as you want. Once we have pups, you can continue working or stay home. The choice is all yours."

Blake has no idea how much his words mean to me. Maybe I can make this work. I just don't want to get his hopes up yet, so I give him a small smile and a nod.

We finish the tour, and he finishes the explanation of my duties. Blake introduces me to a few more people, and we head back to the pack house.

That night I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything I had to think about. Part of me wanted to jump Blake and commit to him and never look back. What he showed me today seems like exactly what I want to do with my life. But if that is the case, why do I feel like I will be missing out on something if I jump in with both feet now?

On the other hand, if I walk away and do what I feel I need to do for myself, how much pain am I putting Blake through? I am also questioning our bond a bit. I know he and Thor feel it deeply. Opal won't stop nagging me, so I know she feels it. But I feel like there is something wrong with me because I still have this pull to be my own person before committing to my mate.

As I lay here in Blake's embrace, while the rest of the world sleeps, I yern for my mother's and my brother's advice. I miss them both dearly. Just a couple more days. Maybe my mom can help me understand why I am feeling this way. Just as I am drifting off to sleep I hear Opal in my head, "Rest little one, you will get your answers, but don't say I didn't warn you. You may not like all you hear." Well hell, how am I supposed to rest now. "Thanks a lot brat," I mumble to Opal under my breath trying not to wake Blake.