The Other 'I'

Things were all bleeding grey lately Everything lost its significance to me Seeking something to feel I never knew pain could sting so cruelly - I long believed that giving and forgiving was enough For they said that love give anything without any questions asked But if I may, I wanted to know why I could feel someone lurking in the dark… But why did I see someone I knew so well when I look back? * * * I was looking at space and feeling withdrawn when I heard a calm voice. “Can you tell me about him?” Dahan-dahan ko siyang nilingon at pinagmasdan nang mabuti. Him? Bumagsak ang mga mata ko sa sariling mga palad. Slowly, I was reminded of countless glimpses and scattered memories of him. Tila karera iyong umandar sa isip ko hanggang sa hindi ko na mawari kung anong unang sasabihin. Suminghap ako at dahan-dahang nag-angat muli ng tingin sa kaniya. Isang nakapapanatag na ngiti ang isinalubong niya sa akin. “I… I don't know where to start.” Ramdam ang pamumuo ng init sa magkabilang sulok ng mga mata, nagbitiw ako ng tingin at pinisil ang mga daliring nasa kandungan. It had been weeks since I last talked about him because I was scared to bring him up with anyone. But right then, my fear had doubled. Kasabay ng unti-unti ko muling pag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya'y siyang mabilis na pagbalik sa akin ng eksaktong tagpo, kung saan tingin ko’y nag-umpisang magbago ang lahat. At doon... doon ako nagsimula.