Dear Crush

Crush 18

Dear Chen,

Tuesday.

I expected to see you early in the day today but I lost hope while watching the clouds go by through the window and the time ticking every minute.

4 pm I prayed.

I asked God to let me see you really quick for today so I have the motivation and energy to continue studying for my midterms.

"You have only one day," I said to the red jacket folded neatly beside my red bag

"It's already 4... He's probably on his way home now..", I said to myself as I try to get my focus back on my biology notes

I mocked fate for playing with me again.

I got pissed at myself for expecting to see you today.

But as I stood up to leave the study space I now call as my "favourite place", because of my memories there with you, I saw you walking towards my direction.

I was already smiling because of my friend's text for me but as soon as my brain recognized that the person in the white fitted shirt is you, it sent a signal to my facial muscles to smile even wider.

I couldn't help but do so.

I looked at you straight in the eye.

I was taken by surprise!

I didn't expect you at all!

You came out of nowhere!

You know what made my heart beat even faster?

Because I realized before I even looked at you, you were already looking at me.

You can correct me if you read this but my eyes don't lie.

I couldn't take my eyes off of you.

Everything was in slow motion.

The way you blinked and the way you walked.

As we were getting closer to each other, I said to myself, "He already sees me smiling so might as well smile at him"

I gave you an indirect smile.

It was really for you but I didn't want you to notice it is for you.

It's complicated.

Girls are complicated.

We walked towards each other while holding each other's gaze.

I didn't take my eyes off of you and you did the same

From my peripheral view, the guy you were walking with was your brother.

I was 5 feet away from you when you and your brother did a little handshake... I guess you were saying bye to each other

As you were doing that you were looking straight into my eyes.

I held on to my breath as I almost brushed my arm with your arms...

As soon as I past by you I placed my hand on my chest because I needed to catch my breath.

My heart was beating even faster.

I had mocked fate and so I ended up getting what I asked for.

Dillon I hope you didn't think I was a creep for staring at you... I didn't mean to...

I couldn't help it.

But you can't blame me because you were also looking at me!

Well I guess you were probably looking because you were wondering why a stranger is smiling so widely at you

Now it's three times counting today.

If I see you or not tomorrow, it won't make a difference to my conclusion.

Red is my lucky colour.