Love is War

Chapter 65

Sometimes I cannot understand why we do things even it hurts us the most, even if we are uncertain of things but once we set our eyes on the price, there will be no one or nothing that can stop us. That’s what I feel right now. What am I doing right now, is the biggest gamble that I have done all my life.

I used all my speed to reach the last destination where I last saw Alexis, and I needed to jump over the barricade. The bleeding just got worse because I did not tend it quickly, and when you are chased by bullets and some guy that has a high caliber sniper, with mad skills, maybe anyone will prioritize escaping them before tending their wounds.

My adrenaline wore off, and then in just one moment, all the pain that I should have felt later on, flooded my nerves. I can feel my lips bleeding because of how hard I bit my lips even when I am biting on a towel. It hurts like hell and I lay on the ground, gripping on my sheen as hard as I can, hoping that I can just block the pain that I am feeling right now by just blocking the nerves path, so that the pain won’t reach my brain, but it does not work like that isn’t it?

I wanted to shout but that will only give information to the enemy and they can find me quickly, or the Shinigami’s bullets will get to me first. Penetrating to my head, scattering my brains to the floor before I can even find Alexis.

Speaking of Alexis, despite the pain, I ignored the pain, and I looked around on the area but to my dismay, I did no find any Alexis in the area, where is she? She might have proceeded before I can reach this place or she heard my message to move and she obeyed.

I wish that she is here right now because I really need help right now, to tend my injuries but it looks like that I need to move on my own again. I grabbed the radio to inform Eagle that my arrival will be delayed. I pressed the button on the radio that will connect my feed towards them.

“Eagle, do you copy?” I whispered to the radio because it is the only strength left in me. After the adrenaline, it is almost like that my energy was drained almost as instantly.

“Miss Nova, Eagle here, over,” he replied and I am relieved that he is still alive.

“Are you there on the exfil point yet?” I asked him, and released the button waiting to receive his reply.

“We are almost their Miss Nova, just hold on there for a minute and we will reach you,” he said and that’s good and I don’t want to inform them about my status right now because that will only lead to unfortunate accidents that I might regret.

“That’s good, then I will see you there in the exfil point,” I replied then released the radio, and I am breathing heavily right and because of lack of strength to tend my wounds, I am now suffering on a blood loss and I don’t know what to do right now.

I can feel my life being sucked away, as my consciousness begins to drift to nothingness again, and honestly, I think this is my grave here. My hands became numb and I let go of the radio. I tried to move my hands, but I can’t feel anything which concerned me. Well, this is very alarming, my whole body going numb, and my eyes are getting heavy.

I am well aware the moment I close my eyes will be the end of me and never to open it again, even if its much easier to let go, I did not allow it to win, I fought believing that there is still hope for me to be saved and Alexis will come back for me. I am sure of it because I know her and she is doing her job no matter what is the cost.

I rested my back to this white wall behind me and I can hear them already on the move to chase us, I can still move my hand, but weak and numb, I can still grab things but it is weird not feeling anything. With my weak hand, I tried to pull myself on the corner that will improve my chance to hide from them.  

I struggled pulling myself in that corner, but still desire to live on. I am still hoping that somehow, I can get out of this place in like some sort of miracle, I am still hoping that will happen, I don’t care how but... I want to get out of her.

So, this is fear... it’s been a long time when I felt this and now, I can recall why I don’t want to feel this feeling again. With how helpless I am right now, there is nothing that I can do but to hope. Hope that there will be my knight in shining armor to come and rescue me in this hell.

My tears, I can feel it though my cheeks and my brain, it won’t do what I say, I am really terrified now, on what should I do. I am helpless...

I can hear them running behind and like a frail puppy I inserted myself tightly in this corner, and there a moment that traumatized me played back in my mind, and that is when I am just a very young child, and that’s when my mother died. I am 3 year old, little girl that time and one night, some random strangers started firing at us randomly.

It was a rainy night, and my mom invited me to go to a convenient store so that she can buy me my favorite hotdog. I was happy that time, a child that’s been given what she wanted. We brought an umbrella and we shared it on our way there. The winds are strong, and it almost took the umbrella away, but mom was strong and she managed to hold onto it until we arrived at the store safely.

“Hey, we are here,” I can feel her warm touch on both of my cheeks, and even when I am, shivering because of the cold drop of rain, I still managed to open my eyes. When I saw her kind eyes. I smiled towards her.

“Mommy,” I gleefully mentioned her name. “Yay! We are here,” I jumped in joy, as I saw my favorite hotdogs, being heated in an oven. I pointed at it with my finger and mom turned to it as she smiled towards me.

“You want that?” she asked me in her baby voice. I nodded at her while I look at her smiling gleefully as we walked towards the hotdogs, but before that mom went somewhere else, and as I watch her walk towards another over where the breads are heated.

She got a paper bag, tongs which she will use later to get the hotdogs without getting burnt, and she gets two pieces of bread. After that she went towards me and I happily watch as she went towards the oven, this time its the hotdogs.

She called me to her and I hop towards her, I don’t care about the others, that is currently looking at me right now. All inside my mind that time is to get those hotdogs. I am very excited tasting it, dad did not allow me to eat it more often because he said that it is bad for my health.

But this time we escaped, not that kind of escape where the mean guys are locking us up, it’s just to eat hotdogs hihihi. It happens to be in this convenience store and mom told me that, this is the place where she met dad when she works here one time.

I can’t remember how it all happened clearly, because mom told me about it when I was younger.

“What do you want?” she asked me pertaining to the flavors of the hotdogs that’s in the oven, I opened my arm telling her to carry me because I am too short, to see what are the flavors available right now. She got the message quickly and she grabbed both of my arms and she carried me.

This time I have a clear view of the different hotdogs that they offered here, I already tasted the chicken hotdogs and the cheese dogs, that is why I wanted to try something new right now, so that the experience is worth it.

“The manhattan mommy,” I told her, it looks like the chicken hotdog but with a slight greenish color.

“Are you sure honey?” she asked me and I nodded at her quickly. “Okay we will get that,” her sweet voice is as calming as ever. She puts me down gently and looked at me. “Don’t go away from me while I get the hotdogs, okay?” she said, and I nodded at her. “Good girl,” she pats my head and I giggled softly.

My attention was caught by an aisle of chocolates not that far away from her, so I thought that it is okay to go there because she can see me easily, after moments of thinking about it seriously, I ran towards the chocolates to grab some.

It was near to the glass panels that served as a wall for this convenience store, but something caught my attention when I was about to grab the chocolate.

A man standing menacingly on the other side of the streets, I feel creeped out as I can feel that he is looking at me straight in the eye. For some reason, it is like that I engaged with him in a staring contest but was interrupted by mom.

“What did I told you earlier little missy?” she scolded me softly and I looked down.

“I just wanted to grab some of this chocolate for you and me,” I replied. She was surprised for a moment and her face became the kind mom that I know.

“Oh, I see, that’s great, let’s go and pay for this,” she said and grabbed my hand while we walk towards the cashier. I looked at where the man is again, but he is not there anymore.