Written In The Pages

“Believe it or not, I’ve never been turned down before, honey,” He grinned. Many had fallen victim to this display of confidence. “It’s one of the perks of my job.” Jenny felt weak at the knees. She longed to rest her hands on his chest for balance, but she held them down firmly at her sides; she figured his ego didn’t need it.  The number of times Aiden Marshall had been rejected was astonishing. Not by the opposite s*x, of course. His life was an equal balance of past and present. In the past, publishing agencies and editors were tired of sloppily handwritten book ideas showing up every other day. He was ignored and his countless efforts were wasted.  His fame blossomed overnight; a flower that had spent years growing in the rain. Women from across the globe spent their nights fantasizing about him. Where had he gotten all of his stories from?  Aiden had made billions from writing and selling award-winning romance novels. His celebrity status meant that he had taken a one-way ticket to being a first-class womanizer. He was an opportunist and a pleasure seeker. Women would fall to their knees in his presence and they provided him with some intimate experiences that would soon contribute to some breath-taking chapters. Unlike most, Aiden was all work, all play. Completely and utterly incapable of having one without the other.  Jenny considered herself to be the unluckiest woman on the planet. She had been slaving away at work for years, just to buy her childhood dream; a top-floor apartment at the Aces State apartment complex. Much like Aiden, her job as a neurosurgeon allowed her to spend years paving her way to the top of the ladder. As much as time had changed, women still had to show their teeth and fight for the place they deserve.  When she first bumped into her neighbour in the corridor; she was painfully reminded of this.  “I always wondered if I’d be seeing a pretty little thing like you move in next door,” his boldness was impressive. Although, the comment had lost its shock value after his embarrassingly self-obsessed introduction. “So,” He dragged it out- clearly having little interest in any conversation that was not entirely about him. “Where’d you scrape up the money to find yourself in a place like this?” Jenny was already agitated. She had already started twirling a loose strand of hair around her index finger; an annoying trait she had inherited from her sisters. The only similarity they shared. “Well, I actually work in medicine,” That would shut him up.  Aiden found himself drawn in by her softly rounded lips. They had been drawn into a slight pout; he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t help but keep pushing her. Whatever the consequences, the game was worth it.  “Damn,” Aiden nodded his head. Jenny felt relieved that he hadn’t continued the sentence. As soon as his mouth opened, her stomach dropped. “Nurses must be getting paid way more than I thought, huh? Do you get to wear that cute little uniform?” He was glowing. The way that she really started pulling on that strand of hair really pleased him. Her facial expression was somehow the definition of anger and beauty all in one. He loved a fiery woman and she was an inferno with the potential to burn the world down to the ground.   Hours had passed since their brief meeting, and Aiden was restless. He felt uneasy, uncomfortable and troubled by the thoughts that he was unfamiliar with. Naturally, he decided that he would write his feelings away. A flawless remedy for all his ailments. A 100% success rate, so far. Aiden spent far too long living in the words he had written. He didn’t need any experiences other than meeting her, to write about her. The way her eyes could bring men to their knees. The delicate arch of her back. The curve of her inner thigh and how even thinking about it set his hand on fire. In that moment, all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his life picturing every inch of her body. If he could just break down the wall between their apartments, she would be there. Captivating images of her sleeping drowned his thoughts. His skin felt magnetic, drawn in and attracted to hers. The thought of her delicate figure pressed up against her bed sheets made him weak. Pulling his hair out of desperation, he decided that he couldn’t take it in his office anymore. Writing about her was punishing and made him ache in ways he couldn’t understand.  Not knowing where he was going, Aiden locked his apartment door behind him. Being a billionaire filled many of the holes in his life. It made him feel complete, but there wasn’t anything about his copious amount of money that could save him from this feeling. He spent the night walking around the city, despite the icy rain. His skin was numb, but the thought of her warmed him on the inside.  He had mindlessly found himself back at the Aces State complex. Home, he bitterly thought to himself. How can I call this home if it is the last place I want to be on this Earth? He reached out his hand to open his front door, but found himself unable to. Inches away from the door handle, his hand seized up. After a few seconds, he realised that his door wasn’t the door he wanted to be opening. Aiden shifted his gaze to the door a few feet away.  Without any caution or deliberation, he was already standing outside her door; he couldn’t think of any reason not to knock. However, he did hesitate. Not because there was an ounce of doubt in his mind, but because he could hear her singing through the door. Why on Earth is she awake at four in the morning? He knocked on the door lightly.  He hadn’t felt this nervous since he was 20. He’d always had the looks, but his confidence had come in a package with success. One to one interviews and meetings with big-time publishing agencies made his eyes water and his hands would shake so violently that it would look like he was pretending to type on his computer. With each idea that was approved and book that was published, his soft edges were chipped away until there was nothing left of who he used to be, only pure chiseled perfection.  “Hang on! Give me one minute!” Jenny yelled through the door. Her heart was racing, who could it be at this time? She rushed into her bedroom, searching for her night gown. She refused to answer the door in her underwear. She couldn’t calm her thoughts, Maybe it’s a noise complaint? Jenny tried to reason with herself. Singing at four A.M might not have been her brightest idea. What if it’s a burglar? It was times like these that she found it hard to reason with herself. Her train of thought was an unstoppable force. The second she cracked her door open, she felt both relieved and worse.  “Well, this is unexpected,” Jenny breathed. Aiden was intrigued by her flushed cheeks, and unusually heavy breathing. He couldn’t help but notice the way her chest moved in time, and the silk robe she was wearing. She felt like she had been put under a microscope. Completely uncomfortable, she crossed her arms across her chest.  “The thing is, I was bored,” Aiden lied through his teeth. “I could hear you singing. I thought you might be able to entertain me for a while.” He looked her dead in the eyes and dragged his hand through his thick, perfectly messy dark hair. “I really could use you as my muse.” He pondered, inwardly confident of the fact that that is the last thing she would want to be. Jenny would never have been able to tell that he had no idea what to say next. She wanted to stomp her feet like a toddler. She could throw a tantrum for days over Aiden Marshall. She had spent years learning to compartmentalise facts and feelings so that she was the best surgeon in her class. Aiden was making her stupid. Instead of caring about his sexist and patriarchal comments, she cared about him. “Jesus, you must be freezing,” She gasped; Aiden was standing in his own puddle. “Come in, I can get you a change of clothes.” He wrapped his hand around her wrist when she tried to pull him in.  God, Jen, pull yourself together. You’re acting totally into him- reel it in! She scalded herself.  Aiden didn’t want to let go of her. How could he? When he felt like the heat in her arm had scorched his skin so that they had melded together. He longed to touch more of her, all of her, but the explicit scenes in his head would drive him to insanity. “I can just head to mine, and get a change of clothes, sweet- thing,” The words rolled off his tongue. This was like a stage performance to him, and he couldn’t get enough of it. All that mattered to him now was that Jenny wanted him. Turning away from her, he winked. Pain flared in Aiden’s core, but he was able to grin and bear it; he knew he’d be back.  Funnily enough, he didn’t think it would be too soon. The next evening, he found himself at the nearest bar. He’d figured that it would be good for him to meet someone and spend the night somewhere else to really clear his head. For Aiden, there was no clearer head than waking up with a crippling hangover in the bed of a woman he had never encountered before. This became a hobby for him when he realised that it gave him more than enough fresh material for his books, and when he realised that women were queuing up at the bar, just to talk to him. Addicts never seem to realise that they have a problem. When Aiden saw Jenny at the bar, he didn’t know what to do. Should I pretend that I haven’t seen her, or should I just find another bar? He decided to solve the dilemma the way he always did. Option three. He walked up to the bar directly next to where she sat. Before saying anything, he asked the man behind the bar for another of what she was drinking; a pina colada. Aiden already had a glass of whiskey in hand, so he pushed the drink in her direction. Neither of them said a word. Maybe, Jenny was too shocked to see him so unexpectedly. She folded her arms across her chest; she wasn’t angry or annoyed. She couldn’t help but feel like she could’ve picked a less revealing dress to wear tonight. Whilst Aiden’s gaze rested intensely on her eyes, he couldn’t help but think about what rested underneath her arms, underneath her very thin, red dress. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to spend the night with her. God, every night for the rest of my life, he moaned to himself.  “Thank you for the drink, but you really didn’t have to. I do get paid enough to be able to afford my own luxuries,” Jenny smiled.  “Oh yeah, nursing is sure keeping you going, right?” He retorted, taking a sip of his drink. He knew all too well that she was a neurosurgeon, so he decided to pay her some overdue respect before he ended up with one of her six inch heels lodged somewhere in his brain. “So, what’s a big-shot neurosurgeon like you doing staying up until God knows what time in the morning and out getting tipsy in the evening-” He paused for breath. He had so much to say to her. “-may I add, looking like that?” He gasped slightly, gesturing to her body. Despite the room being packed with hundreds of gorgeous, interesting young women, he found that he didn’t want to look anywhere else.  Before Jenny answered him, she wondered if there was anything genuinely wrong with his brain function. Surely, there had to be some issues with his insular cortex and slight problems with his self-awareness; he was clearly overly concerned with that. She wouldn’t mind him popping into her clinic sometime soon for a check-up and a few regular tests. She’d quite like to get the chance to get her hands stuck in. He’d probably need a prefrontal lobotomy or two. Maybe, she pondered, he has a tumor that’s causing pressure within the prefrontal cortex. It would explain his inappropriate social behaviour, or his unusual expression of personality. Jenny could quite confidently say that she loved her job.  “If you must know, I’ve got a week off, and I have decided to make the most of it, because this doesn’t happen very often,” Jenny looked down at her hands. She had taken advantage of her time off and had painted her nails black; they were already chipping. She immediately felt ashamed, even when she tried, she never felt like she looked good enough.  Aiden continued to look at Jenny. The way she felt about herself was palpable. Her facial expression made him feel sad to the core. He wanted to help her, but a moment of realisation told him that he couldn’t empathise with her. Other than countless hours of writing, Aiden never had to give up anything for his career. Sure, it took a bit of blood, sweat and tears in the beginning, but he only ever gained from his work. Jenny, on the other hand, had given up anything and everything so that she could fulfil her career. Whilst it was completely out of his control, Aiden felt guilty. He was privileged and it had made him ignorant.  He rested his hand on top of her fidgeting fingers. “You do everything you can to help other people. I can’t even tell you how amazing that is,” Aiden smiled at her. For Jenny, that one comment almost made up for everything that had come out of his mouth before that. She returned the warm smile, and they spent what felt like hours staring into each other’s eyes. Almost as if they were trapped, or maybe, they had realised that they didn’t want to look anywhere else.  Aiden shivered, which broke his gaze, and the connection. He felt jittery, like a child waiting for the lunch bell to ring so that he could go outside and play with his friends. He made a mental note of this feeling; if he didn’t use it in his next book, he would be betraying genuine emotion. Although, being with this woman was something he lacked the ability to describe. He didn’t need to think about his money, his job, or even the future. The single thing that mattered was each breath, each heartbeat. Not a single cell in his being cared about anything else. He wanted to know her. Not just knowing that she likes to wear colours, because she used to get called a ‘goth’ at school, or knowing that she always wanted to be a vegetarian because she hates the thought of hurting another sentient creature, but she can’t help but pick off and eat the pepperoni on her pizza before she eats anything else. He wanted to know her in ways that people couldn’t even begin to comprehend.  Aiden was more than willing to take as long as she needed for his wish to be granted. She was the first woman he had stumbled across that didn’t complete him. When an individual is completed only by another, that is not love; it is called being dependent. The term 'other half' suggests that you cannot live without them. Of course, you can. It must be understood that you are not missing a half, you should be whole before you can even consider dedicating yourself to someone else. What he hadn’t realised is that all the time he thought he had wasted with unfamiliar women, hadn’t been wasted at all. He was growing; learning and making the necessary mistakes so that he didn’t have to do anything wrong again. It was all for her.  He wasn’t ever meant to be a billionaire just for the sake of it. It was so he could eventually end up with her as his neighbour. So that he could hear her singing in the hallway and bump into her on nights like these. So that he could worship her in the many ways she deserved; that's all he wanted. That night, the pair roamed the city like teenagers, running through the streets, holding hands in the rain. Alcohol had made them nostalgic of younger years, but it only influences what would have happened over time anyway. The rain was so heavy that when they kissed, it made it impossible to breathe. It was almost a reminder that life is too precious. Neither of them wanted to waste it by forgetting that that night had happened. They needed each other; physically, and emotionally. Hours had passed, and they were soaked through. Aiden realised that this was the average night for him, except for one key difference; he wasn’t alone. His hand gripped onto hers, they stood outside Jenny’s apartment door. Their hearts so full that the floor could have given out underneath them. Aiden knew deep in his heart, every romance novel he would write in the years to come would be about her. He didn’t need anything else.  “So,” Aiden dragged. He was unsure of what would happen now. “I guess I should leave you to get some rest.” He genuinely only wanted what he thought would be best for her.  Jenny couldn’t believe the words that had come out of his mouth. She had expected him to dismiss everything that had just happened, but she was wrong. “Shut up!” Jenny laughed as she bumped open the door with her hip and pulled him through by his tie. She could feel his heart pounding through his shirt.  The door abruptly slammed shut behind them.