ACCEPTANCE (A Nigerian Love story)

15. CONFRONTATION

Chapter 15: Confrontation 

HAFSAT'S POV 

One month later. 

Sometimes it's feel really hard to say goodbye. In some situations three days is more than enough to get close to someone. 

After working with so many nice doctors and nurses for almost three months it feels like we are already family. Even if we aren't in the same posting it always feels nice to meet on the hospital corridors smile and wave at each other no matter how much we are in a hurry.

As I sat to have lunch some colleagues in the hospital, I announced my transfer to another hospital. I didn't tell them that it was my father-in-law's request for me to move to the same hospital as my husband. 

They started whining and making sad faces. 

"Guys. I'm not leaving today. I still have my obstetrics shift to finish first. Sooo...we have about 3 weeks more together" 

"Yeah whatever" one of them said dismissively 

"Well, there are a few people you know from this hospital that went back there so you will be fine. " 

" Plus you have your husband there" Another wiggled her eyebrows. 

"Speaking of husband. How was you honeymoon? " Yemi who has dyed her hair to red asked. 

I returned to the hospital two days ago and they've been wanting to hear about my honeymoon which I wisely refused to share. 

I replied with a simple smile.

" Break is over. Come on lets go and save lives." I winked. 

They all groaned and I laughed. 

"How did we even get this much free time today?" I continued as I get ready to go out of the call room. 

On my way back from work I stopped to buy some watermelons which I've been craving lately. 

I didn't even see a single watermelon in Seychelles, do they not have it or were they out of season, I wondered. 

About our honeymoon............ It was more like strangers in a strange world. I didn't enjoy it. I actually wished we didn't go cause it didn't mend our relationship in anyway. 

Flashback

"Are you going to leave me again? " I suddenly asked Ammar as I saw him trying to leave the hotel room. 

We arrived Seychelles in day time. After changing and freshening up we stepped out for lunch. I made friends while we were walking around our hotel area and they invited me to go to the park with them. I asked Ammar and he agreed to join them even though his expression said otherwise. 

He barely said five sentences to me since we arrived. I had fun with my new friends while he just emotionlessly stared at us. 

We got back to the hotel room and I got ready for bed. I figured we would be tired after the long day but he looked like he wanted to go out. 

I hesitated but spoke again. 

"It's just that I don't know anyone here and... - " I started but he interrupted 

" I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to check on something" he assured me and left without even seeing my beautiful relieved smile. 

So rude. 

I slept before he returned that night. 

That was basically how we spent our three days. Me doing all the talking. Him doing all the..... Nothing. 

I had to call him to go everywhere with me. I knew he wouldn't even move if I didn't ask him to go sight seeing with me. 

It's so annoying that he says yes to everything. The only time he had an opinion was when we went to get gifts. 

So all in all my dream honeymoon was crushed thanks to the boring guy I married. 

End of flashback 

Ammar has been 'busy' with work since we returned from our so called honeymoon. He's always in the hospital and does more than usual night shift. Other days, he comes home really late with the excuse of 'too much work'. 

I never asked him for an explanation. Usually mummy is always the questioner. 

A month since our wedding and no progress. 

Some days I waited for him to come back before I sleep. There are times I don't eat dinner until he returns and I serve him before I serve myself and eat. If it's just us two, we don't even sit in the same place and eat but I still wait for him anyways. 

I can't help but wait for him no matter how much I try not to wait.

There are things I need to clear with him and I promised myself that I would do that today. So I gathered all my confidence and courage before reaching home. 

The house was quiet when I returned. Ahmad and Ammar we're still at work. 

Amrah and her small family had returned to their house in Kaduna. Adnan too had gone back to Jos where he's doing his youth service. Sadiq went back to school in Lagos together with Ammi, Auwal and Aisha. And finally Safiya and Sakina went back to school even before we returned from Seychelles. Notice, I can now differentiate between Adnan and Sadiq? 

Abba came last weekend and returned to work in Lagos on Monday. 

"Hafsat, is that you?" Mummy called from the kitchen. 

"Yes" I answered and walked to the kitchen. 

She was preparing dinner with Zainab. I greeted them both then got a bottle of water from the fridge and gulped it down. 

"Zainab I thought you were going to be back late today?" 

"Yess. But! Last two lectures were cancelled and ..happy me. So I came back home early" She squealed 

I laughed. 

"I smell like hospital. I will just take a shower and come down to help" I said. 

And with that I sprinted out of the kitchen like an excited 13 year old and went straight to the attic. 

**

We were waiting for the soup to finish cooking before we switch off the gas cooker and head out of the kitchen when Ammar and Ahmad returned home. I quickly got them both a cup of water then collected Ammar's bag and kept it in the room. 

Everyone ate their dinner at the time they wished and as usual Ammar asked Zainab to serve him because his 'wife is invisible' to him. And as usual I told her to sit down and I got him his dinner instead. 

After 9pm everyone vanished to their room to study or work or watch or sleep, whatever they wished. I needed to talk to Ammar so I let him enter the room first cause I was afraid if I entered before him he might decide to work somewhere else till I sleep off. 

He's really good at avoiding me. He loves to play hide and seek.

I sat down in the chair of the coffee table and turn to face him on the bed where he was organizing some papers. 

I played with my fingers then cleared my throat before I began. 

"Why do you ignore me?" I blurted. He looked at me confused. "Or do I smell?" 

"Ehn?" He raised a brow.

"Not that I'm trying to seek your attention all the time but I am your wife, I think I deserve some attention. You act like I don't exist. You only talk to me when you have to,  not when you want to. I was uncomfortable at first so I thought you were too but you didn't change. I really don't understand you. This family is really nice, you are giving me a hard time. I'm surviving because of them. But I am not married to them, I am married to you and I am suppose to be able to breathe because of you....they should only be a bonus .... in...in my life." My voice cracked as my eyes filled with tears. I was trying to send a message through his thick skull but he was looking at me like I was making no sense. 

I sniffled and continued. 

"I am just asking you to not treat me like I am invisible. It's really humiliating when you ask Zainab to do things for you while I am right there. I am saying that we should try to know each other better, to understand each other. I don't plan to live like this forever and I don't know what you're thinking but I'm sure you don't plan on living like this forever either. And I most definitely don't want to live with regrets. So we should give this relationship a try. I will do my best till I can do no more. I am trying already ...." I sighed and pleaded.

"I am really trying to be a good wife but you just don't care. I don't know what you are thinking or planning. I don't even know what you think about this ..thing..this marriage. But from how you act I'm guessing its a negative feeling." I paused to catch a breath. 

I had no idea where all that was coming from but I was sure my braveness is like that of the lioness I  am. 

I was hoping he would say something by now but he didn't. 

This guy is going to kill me alive with his annoying silence. 

"I'm not sure if you get the point of all what I've been saying but there is something more important I want to point out." I hesitated not knowing how to start. My husband just kept looking at me waiting for me to continue. 

He most be a good listener. Now I know that being just a listener can be annoying as hell. 

LORD! I'm about to go crazy. 

"You know it's sunnah that a new couple pray two raka'at when they get married. To ask Allah for guidance, protection and support and the like" I stopped to read his expression. 

He furrowed his eyebrows looking at the paper on the bed. I became scared but I wasn't about to stop. I just hope that I didn't hurt his ego. I mean he should know this right? But maybe he forgot so I'm just reminding him. We all need to be reminded about one or two things once in a while. 

"And you know the du'a you're suppose to make on the wife. We didn't do that either. I'm just trying to remind you. .....okay maybe you did the du'a but I was taught that you have to place your hand on the wife's head in order to make the du'a" I rattled 

Oh and the special chicken and yoghurt and dates. I heard alot of stories about it and I anticipated it too. 

He closed his eyes and sighed. I noticed him mouth 'Subhanalah' and 'Allah akbar' . He opened his eyes and our eyes met but I quickly looked away. We stayed quiet for about five minutes before I finally gave up and made my way to the bathroom so I can get ready for bed.

"Perform ablution so that we can pray now."