When Love is Gone

Chapter 2

This is the second time I've felt like this. The first time was when Grachelle told me about her pregnancy which turned to be fake. And now, I'm feeling it once more as I am seeing her again after years of being separated from her.

My hands and my knees were trembling and I felt like an invisible hand kept on strangling me. Cold drops of sweat were pooling at the back of my neck and my breath decided to play hide and seek with me. I can't seem to catch it as I struggled for air to fill my breathless lungs.

It was just a matter of seconds that our eyes met but I felt like it was almost an hour. An hour of torture, an hour as if my soul wanted to leave my body and follow where her eyes go. It didn't matter that the life in her eyes died when she saw me. I just want her to look at me again as if she would be the reason for me to breathe again.

I can't stop looking at her. I felt envious of those people she was smiling at, looking at, and talking to. I wanted to go near her, ask her how she's been and ask her about the man whose hand was at the back of her waist possessively holding it.

Her small waist that I used to hold whenever I was at the peak of owning her body, marking it mine.

I closed my hand into a fist.

Now, another man was holding what was mine.

The anger made my blood boil. I wanted to go where they are and remove that hand and worse, break it. Tell that man to back off because Grachelle is mine...

But before I could do it, reality slapped me on the face.

She used to be mine.

And she's not mine anymore.

"Man, are you okay?"

I was forced to take my eyes off her to look at Brennan.

"Looks like you're gonna choke anytime now. Is it your first time to see that kind of a stunning woman?" he jokingly said. Of course, he doesn't know about Grachelle and me. He came from one of our companies abroad and got transferred here months after Grachelle went away. And everyone in the company was silently forbidden to speak about our past after Grachelle left.

"I'm fine."

My throat was so dry it was a surprise even to me that I was able to speak.

"Lucky bastard," Brennan whispered. His eyes were not on me anymore so I went to see what he was looking at.

I felt like a knife was stabbed right at the center of my chest when I saw it.

The man was whispering at Grachelle, earning him a sweet smile from my wife.

Ex-wife. The voice in my head hissed.

Fùck, yeah. Ex-wife. She's already my ex-wife and it sounded so bitter in my mouth.

She stood with so much poise and grace. Her stance screams elegance and power, a lethal combination of a very confident woman.

Looking at her now, I can say that she's far from the young woman who was so in love with me. I was used to her adorable stares before and to her timid yet sweet smile whenever our eyes met. And now, she's looking at everyone, smiling at everyone, and giving attention to everyone...

To everyone except me.

Another pain sliced me as I looked at the people around Grachelle.

Everyone was waiting for her attention like excited puppies and I can't deny to myself that I'm like them, too. I was expecting, waiting, and anticipating. I readied myself in case she'll look my way. But she never did. It seems like she's gonna burn on the spot if ever her eyes will meet mine.

And it hurts. It's as if I am a disgusting thing to look at. And what hurts me more was the man beside her who was possessively holding her. Touching her.

For the nth time, the same thought entered my mind.

I was supposed to be that man.

I was busy trying to stay on my feet and not just walk away from that sight I almost didn't hear what her father announced.

"Everyone, my daughter Grachelle Nathalie Atkins! Let's welcome her back to our company," Mr. Atkins proudly said to which everyone gave a cheer.

"Let's get inside. Stop ogling there," Brennan hissed at me.

I followed him mindlessly until we were gathered again. Grachelle, together with the tall man and her parents were standing on the mini stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you will just render half of the day today because tonight, we will celebrate the return of my prodigal daughter." Everyone except me laughed at the joke of the old man. I felt like his words were cutting through me because I was the main reason why Grachelle decided to leave almost four years ago.

"See you all at Marianne Hotel tonight at 8 everyone," Mrs. Atkins declared. Everybody could see how happy she is right now that Grachelle is back.

"I'm gonna buy a tuxedo for this," Brennan excitedly told me. When I didn't answer him, he looked at me with a frown on his face.

"What?" I asked in a bored tone.

"You aren't yourself since you saw Mr. Atkins's daughter. What's wrong with you, man?" Brennan curiously asked.

I looked away trying to avoid his gaze.

"Nothing. I'll see you tonight."

I walked away as fast as I could and went to my office. I never even heard my secretary, who was already at her seat, greet me.

I sat at the swivel chair intending to work but my mind was flying off to where Grachelle is. I cannot even type anything on my laptop because my mind cannot form any word except her name.

Damn.

...

"What are you still doing sitting there? We have a party to attend, Ram."

Sara's loud voice cleared my foggy mind.

"Party? What party?" I coldly asked her. She was already wearing a red skimpy gown that shows her assets. Four years ago, I've always dreamt of seeing Sara looking so sexy and gorgeous like how she looks tonight. That's when I was still with Grachelle. But right now, with all her gorgeous looks, I don't feel any excitement or pride. I just feel emptiness inside.

"Aren't you invited to the welcome party of your dear ex-wife, Ram? I thought everyone was," she said in a fake surprise.

I frowned at her. I know that her sarcastic remarks are getting into something.

"Even if everyone was invited, do you think I would go and just show my face there?" I replied with the same sarcastic tone that she used.

"Why not? You're one of the stockholders of that company so it is expected for you to be there," Sara reasoned out. It seems to me that she's the one who's so excited to go.

I exasperatedly sighed.

"Sara, you know why I got those stocks. Isn't it enough for you that the people in the company talk about how I got them? About us?"

I sighed. I get so tired whenever she talks about my position in the company which she was so proud of. She just doesn't know or perhaps she doesn't just want to acknowledge how humiliating it was for me to have that position. I loathed it but I had no choice. It was the only connection I could have with my ex wife.

"I don't care about those gossipmongers, Ram! Those stocks were given to you for the suffering that your ex-wife gave you when you were married! It's just right for you to be compensated for all the deception she put in your mind!" She angrily screamed at me.

I stood up intending to leave her but she caught my arm and pulled me so that I was already facing her.

"Was that really the reason why you aren't attending your company's party again or was it because of Grachelle?"

I forcely removed her hand from my arm before answering her.

"How did you know that she's here, Sara?" I asked her in a cold voice.

I never told her about Grachelle's arrival and yet she knows and that made me curious.

She smirked at me irritating me even more.

"How do you think? I still have eyes and ears in that company, Ram. Didn't I always tell you that? I know everything that's happening in that company even if I wasn't there."

I kept my mouth shut as she bombarded me with her suspicions.

"Are you scared to face her, Ram? Scared that she might take what's she's given you? Or is it because you're getting jealous of the man she came with? Are you envious? Tell me, Ram, are you so affected by her presence that you're scared to face her with me?!" She was almost screaming which was making my head hurt.

I decided to just ignore her and turned my back only to be pulled again. I was not expecting the slap Sara will give me.

"You love her, don't you, Ram?! And you're damn jealous of the man she brought home with her! You can't face her because you're hurting to see her having a new man in her life!"

I gave her a cold stare in reply.

I got a hold of her hand before she could slap me again. She was used to physically assault me whenever she's angry and I'm growing tired of it.

"You wanna know the truth, Sara? Let me tell you the damn truth! Yes, I love her! Is that want you wanna hear? And yes, I was jealous of that man who was holding her and touching her! She used to be mine, remember? But because of you, because I thought I would only love no one but you, I've hated her! It was her who suffered more in that marriage rather than me, Sara! And those money you spend for your jewelries? For your designer clothes? For the parties with your friends? Those came from her! Those money belong to her!" I angrily spat every word at her before pushing her away from me.

She was silent and was still shocked from my outburst because this is the first time it happened until she looked at me like she can't believe what I've just said.

"You--you love her?"

It was a shock to see her tear up since it has been a long time since I saw her cry. I groaned before looking at her again.

"Now that you know the truth, will you still force me to attend that party?" I returned.

She calmed down before wiping the tears that wet her face.

"You're just saying that to stop me but I won't let your lies get a hold of me. Get ready, Ram. We will go to that party."

"What?! Haven't you heard what I've just said? And I'm not lying, Sara."

"You are!"

She screamed at my face shocking us both.

She cleared her throat after a few minutes of silence between us before she smiled sweetly at me.

"Of course, I've heard you loud and clear, Ram and I hope you also did hear me loud and clear. I will go to that party alone if you won't go with me," she warned me before leaving never giving me a chance to say anything.

I angrily punched the wall to release my anger after cursing multiple times.

I know that I didn't have a choice now but to go to the party with Sara.

I must protect Grachelle from the plans that Sara has in mind.

...