Tears Of Marriage

It all started after I married Sharon whom I met in campus and we fell in love so I married her ,we were happy In our marriage not until I realized after that My wife had been cheating on me for two months now. I discovered it after I got her deleting messages from her phone. This was not her norm. Ever since I started dating her she had never deleted her texts nor did she walk around with her phone. So when I saw the sudden change in behavior, my eyebrows were raised. At first I didn't want to believe it since I loved my wife so much and I never wanted anything to happen between us. This trend continued for some time to the extent of her not having s*x with me. Whenever I touched her in bed, she complained that she was tired or not in the mood. I remember one day, after she reported from work she told me that she was so tired and I should excuse her for the night. Imagine having not played s*x for the past three weeks and yet you are married and your wife is still giving you some time off. The excuse; she is tired. That night I decided to confirm my worries, I went to bed early and pretended to sleep. My wife joined me in bed but instead of sleeping, her eyes were glued on her phone with earphones hanging from her ears. She was smiling all the way and I could not understand how a tired wife can stay awake up to midnight? After she slept, I took her phone to check the messages but it was locked. This raised my suspicion more. Why should she lock her messages if there is nothing cooking? I checked her call logs to see if it could give me a clue. Here I found one of her colleagues from work who has been a frequent caller. To my surprise, this man could call my wife more than four times a day. What I didn't understand was why call her when they were usually together in the office? Moreso every Monday, this guy came to my home to pick my wife as they went for the workshop. He was a married man and a leader in a local church. Since it was only call logs with no evidence at hand I opted not to ask her but instead do my own investigation and have concrete evidence so that I don't ruin my marriage just because of being insecure.  The following day, my wife left earlier than usual. She had a special assignment to finish up before the deadline. As usual, I didn't touch her though I felt like having s*x. It hurt me but there was nothing I could do about it.  After she left, I contacted my friend to express my fears to her. She was her colleague and I just wanted to confirm if there was any special assignment my wife undertook. Since I didn't want to make her realize that my wife had left, I asked her if she had gone to work, which she declined, telling me that they were having a remote day. This meant that none of them was to report to the office on that day. My wife had lied to me. With my worries confirmed, I decided to play her game, I called Fidelis; Fidelis was the wife of Henry , who was my wife's colleague. I told her I wanted to talk to her husband but she told me he had left. He said he had an appointment with the pastor and since it was a remote working day, he thought it wise to go there in the morning so that he can be home later in the evening before it's late. I tried to join the dots. My wife left and Henry is not at home too. There must be something on, I told myself. Since I knew the pastor's home, I decided to pay him a visit just to confirm what Fidelis had told me. True, I found Henry there talking to the pastor. I called my wife to check on her but her phone went unanswered. Twenty minutes later, she called me back telling me that she had left her phone in her handbag and she was in the office. This could not add up since I heard soft music in the background. After this call, I texted Fidelis asking her if we could have a cup of tea later in the day. I needed a feminine figure around me. I had missed that feeling of love from my wife and I needed someone I could talk to and since I was suspecting that Henry was sleeping around with my wife, the best person to talk to was Fidelis. To my surprise, she agreed to meet me without hesitation. But she gave me a condition; we can't meet in the village. It must be away from the village to safeguard. I looked into her eyes and I saw hurt and betrayal. Her voice was dry and she seemed lost in the world of thought. The smile on her face after my compliment faded away. She looked at me straight in the eyes and asked me a question that I never expected. " Greg, are you sure I am beautiful?" I was speechless. Fidelis was one of the ladies who deserved the adjective beautiful. She was thirty two but looked like in her early twenties. She had round hips with medium sized butts. A thin waist and her upper body slightly enlarged by her rounded boobs. She had a flat tummy despite being a mother of two. She kept her skin natural. She was smooth and glowing. Her lips were well curved with the medium sized nose hanging delicately above her upper lip giving her face a magnetic effect to the eyes of men. Her white eyes are well spaced with dark eyelashes and eyebrows completing her facial beauty. Her hair freely obeys gravity. No chemicals, no wigs. Naturally she was. " Yes, you are beautiful, Fidelis. Henry must be a lucky man to have you as his wife." I answered her. "Thank you Greg, your words just reassured me that I am human. I wish I could listen to such words almost everytime in my life but they are too scarce for me. Once again thank you." She said, reaching out for my hand and squeezed it slightly. Then the waiter came to take our orders. Since it was almost lunch time, I chose a heavy meal for myself. When the waiter turned to her she just said the same. Five minutes later and our food was served. We started talking on various topics ranging from social life politics and finally found ourselves discussing Love. This topic took most of our time and also provided answers to my many unanswered questions. "Greg, do you believe in love?" She asked. "Yes I do. Love exists between two souls." I replied, looking at her. "She shook her head in disapproval. "Love is just a word that humanity uses to get what they want and after having it it's disregarded and thrown away like garbage." Her statement startled me. Does she mean she never enjoyed love in her marriage when she looked so Happy from outside? "What do you mean by that, Fidelis?" Love is a gift from God and we should love each other just as God loves us." I added. "Greg there is where the problem starts. Most of us tend to bring God in issues so as to subdue the effects of neglect. Sometimes I wonder if God really loved us. He could not have allowed some things to happen to us. To make matters worse, those of us who proclaim to love God are the same people who cause havoc in other people's hearts and wreck their lives. She said with a lot of pain in her voice. She seemed carried away. "Fidelis, I wish I was a preacher just like your husband, I could have taught you the Bible but from the simple verses I have read, it's clear that God loves us. He always fights for us during the hour of need. He provides solutions to all our problems and above all helps us overcome temptations. "What do you take love to be?" I asked her. "Love is a venom, it's a vice upon which the foundation of all evil is built. Love is nothing, completely nothing. Love is wicked." I saw anger building up in her eyes. ",No Fidelis, love is the best thing that can ever happen to humanity. When love is pure, we all enjoy it. Just like water, we can't live without love." I said. "Greg, why do you compare love with water? Water gives us life but love gives us nothing." She said, " You are wrong my dear, water looks so calm and harmless, it's the only source of life and nothing can live without water but the calm and harmless looking water is the most destructive weapon of nature. Nothing can stand against the wrath of water, no other weapon matches it; not even an atomic bomb." I explained. "I don't understand you Greg" She said. Am sorry Fidelis. But love is the best thing that can ever happen to you. The only problem is that if you are in love with the wrong person, then you will never know peace. Your heart will be troubled. Sorrow will follow you like madimoni. Love is like water my dear, just as water gives life so does love give happiness, the same way water can take away life, love can also take away the little happiness that we once enjoyed." I explained to her as she listened keenly. "Greg, your wife must be lucky to have you as a husband." She said after sipping her orange juice. What she didn't know was the fact that my wife changed. She is the one giving me trouble. She has taught me things the hard way. I wished my wife could understand that I am a man too and I have a human heart that needs love just as other men do. When I married my wife eight years ago, she was the most obedient and loving woman I had ever met. Trouble started after she got employed with this NGO. In the beginning,we used to do everything together. I could cook for the family as she bathed our son. She could join me in the kitchen afterwards to keep me company as I cooked. When I was tired from job, she could bathe me and I could do the same when she was tired too. This ceased the second month of her employment. It hurt me but there was little I could do. I tried to make her happy but it seemed like her happiness was somewhere else but not in the house. She started quarreling over nothing not forgetting shouting at our eight months old daughter. This made me worried since this has never happened before. I remember she once slapped me on my way to work just because I had not prepared our son for school. Anyway, in short my wife changed, making me the most miserable man in her marriage. At first I thought it was job stress but I started doubting her fidelity when passwords started changing on her phone like her underpants. The only thing that I didn't want to do was to confront her only to find out that my suspicion was not true, I needed evidence; concrete evidence. " Your husband must be lucky to have you too. You are an amazing woman." I replied. I was being honest. Fidelis was beautiful and I am sure most men desired to share a table with her just as I am doing today. I wondered why her husband should cheat on her with my wife. Why?  "Thank you Greg, at least you have made me happy even for a moment." Fidelis said as she reached for her purse and paid the bills. On leaving the hotel, I spotted my wife boarding a taxi. She was not in the clothes that she left home without. I wanted to shout at her but I realized it was a waste of time since the taxi was already off and I was with Fidelis. I tried calling her but she could not be reached on the phone. It was off. As if she was reading my mind. Fidelis reached for my hand and pulled me. "Handsome man, let's go home," she said, leading the way to the bus stage. We boarded a matatu and within forty minutes we were back home. Our son ran towards me and I gave him a packed lunch. I had bought it specifically for him because I was sure he had not eaten anything. He was not the type to leave the house, not unless in my company or that of his mother. I thought my wife was already at home but I didn't need to ask not after the boy came running for food. I went straight to our bedroom and laid on the bed. "Thank you for your time Greg. I wish we could have the whole day together. Am bored here in the house. Henry is not yet back. Enjoy your evening." That was the text from Fidelis. That evening my wife came later than usual. She was not dressed in the same clothes she was in when she left in the morning. I didn't know where she changed the clothes from but I was sure she was the one I had seen boarding a taxi next to the hotel where I was with Fidelis. My wife went straight into the bathroom. "I feel tired, let me fresh up first." She said as she closed the door to the bathroom. That was when I received a text from Fidelis. "Hubby has just arrived, he is in the bathroom. Let me set the table for him." This text hurt me the most. How can that be? My wife just pops in and goes to the bathroom and on the other side Henry goes to the bathroom too just after coming back? Was this a mere coincidence? After taking a shower, my wife went straight to bed. Our children were fast asleep. The boy rarely stays up until eight. It was now fifteen minutes past nine. On the other hand our daughter sleeps early. She was still a toddler.  After watching the news. I went to the bedroom and found my wife chatting all smiles. Those texts must be exciting to her. The one texting them but has been a good one. I stood at the door for over ten minutes without her knowledge. She occasionally kissed the phone after reading the texts. When I stepped in the bedroom. She pressed the power button and the screen went blank. From the look in her eyes, I read guilty. Unlike the previous days when she could face me, today she faced away. This made me more worried. She tried to touch me but I was not in the mood for the touches. Not after I had witnessed her kiss the phone and the change of clothes I had witnessed during the day. "My dear, are you having an affair?" I asked without a second thought. This question got her flair, her madness activated. "Greg, itye itimo accusing ann ni atye amit? Kong anaka ni kong inena kede icoo moro ? Ngo amii ikoba gina acal kiti?" She said as she rose from the bed. I just sat there watching her. I had never seen her this mad. I remembered the words of my counselor. "When you see your spouse behaving mad after asking them a question on infidelity, chances are high that your worries are true. "You have changed much my dear, you are not the wife I married and I just wanted to know if you are having a man outside this wedlock. That's all" I said calmly. "I have never thought you see me as an adulterous woman, I thought I was married to a husband who loves me but you have proven me wrong." She said as she started packing her clothes. "Adok oko pacu bot onywala , I can't stay with a man who doesn't trust me." This was the least expected. I thought she could suggest we have a talk. We have always had issues in this marriage but she had never threatened to pack. "What of our children?" I asked her. " I don't care, they are your children, take care of them." She shouted waking up the little girl who started crying. I went to her bedroom and picked her up. When she saw her mother, she struggled to get to her but the mother seemed not interested. I went to the kitchen, warmed her food and fed her. While in the kitchen, I received a chilling text from Fidelis. "Imagine Greg, Henry has not taken food in the house. After the shower he went straight to the bed and seemed to be chatting with someone smiling all through."  "I'm sorry for you girl." I texted back. I wanted to tell her the behavior of my wife today but I thought it was not prudent of me. After feeding the girl, she fell asleep again. My wife's furry seemed to have subsided for I saw her smile on her phone again but the moment she saw me, she became sullen and picked up her suitcase. "Am leaving." She declared. My wife was behaving weird. This is not the kind of marriage I expected to have. I always wanted my marriage to be a model to  others. I wanted people to use me as an example of an ideal marriage. All in all, she had decided. I left her in the bedroom and went to watch the television. I didn't want to see her leave. I loved my wife. Nothing will ever come between me and my love for my wife. Not even her infidelity. After two hours. I went to the bedroom only to find my wife dead asleep. She looked beautiful with her eyes closed. I loved her, she was a treasure to me and I didn't want to lose her. I remember how she gave me sleepless nights chasing her. We were both from the same village. Only that I was two years older than her. She was the daughter of the village elder. Twice I had escaped beating from her clansmen. Her father was against our relationship but since we loved each other, our love overcame the test of time. She was a student by then while I had just completed my form four. I remember paying her school fees from form two. This was because her dad refused to pay her fees. I know some of you will say that I was a fool to do such but I believe it was the power of love. That love that still lives in my heart. The pure love for my wife. The only woman I have ever loved.  Luckily, she wasn't foolish in class and she qualified for the university after her form six. That was back in the year 2010. I joined university the same year to pursue my degree which had now lost meaning to me. In her second year of study, her father died and I became the sole guardian. I provided for her needs courtesy of the help from my loving mother. After graduation, we moved in as a couple in 2015 and we were blessed with our first born a year later. Life was sweet and we both enjoyed our marriage. She was the true definition of a wife. People envied me and am sure they still do because they don't know what I am going through in this marriage. Trouble started when she got employed. At first, she started complaining about virtually everything I did. The money I gave her became little and she gradually started applying ponds, something that hurt me the most. I loved her as a natural woman but now here she was taking away what I treasured most in her; her natural beauty. I have not mentioned the change in her dressing code. My wife used to dress in clothes that covered three quarters of her body, but in the second months of her job, she bought several mini skirts and mini dresses that fitted her tightly. It hurt me but anytime I asked her about it, she always gave the same reason. "It's a requirement in the office my love."  As I was still watching her sleeping, her phone screen lit. I had never seen her phone on silent. I looked at it only to see the last bit of the text. "I enjoyed it. Thanks." I tried to open the message but her phone was protected by a password. I wished I could know who the person was and what he or she enjoyed. I was about to get to bed when my wife took her phone, read the text, smiled then shut it down. I wanted to talk to her, I wished to make her understand how hurting it is eating me up. I undressed, then joined her in bed. My hands itched to touch her but my mind was against it. I obeyed my mind because her behavior indicated that she was not ready for me. She rolled herself in the bedsheets leaving the blanket for me. I swallowed bitter saliva. I wished to talk to a woman, a woman who could understand me and that was my wife. For once I thought of cheating on her but my love for her could not allow me. "May God help me remain faithful." I prayed in my heart. Before I dozed off, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Fidelis. "Greg am bored, "oromo nen kong diki" she texted I met Fidelis at the same hotel we met yesterday. I can say that meeting her put a smile on my face. She was humble and smartly dressed. She reminded me of my early days of marriage. When my wife used to dress modestly. From the look in her eyes, she was still frustrated. Maybe she had cried the whole night or let's say she had just cried because her eyes were red contradicting her normally snow white eyes. "Let's have a drink." I suggested. I had not taken anything in my house. My wife woke up earlier than usual, prepared the boy for school and before I could wake up they were all gone. Thanks to Sheilah, our house help who was now taking care of Nasambu; my daughter. She had reported back this morning after going to visit her grandma who was sick. I felt hungry and bitter at the same time. My wife left no food for me. "Thanks alot, I'll be grateful. Am damn hungry." Fidelis said as she called the waiter. At least we had something to start off the talk. Why are you hungry yet you're coming from your house? I asked. "Greg you won't believe it, my house has no peace, I just don't understand my husband anymore. He is just making my home a living hell. In Fact I decided to take our children to my mother so that they don't get the negatives in the house." She said blowing her nose. "You know..." She wanted to add but I cut her short. I had seen someone familiar enter the hotel and I wished she could not see us together. It was Halima; the secretary at my wife's working place. Halima has been my close friend for over two years now. I knew her even before my wife joined the NGO. "I'll be back my dear." I said heading to where Halima was. "Eeeei Greg itye ijony ba pe icemo turi boo iyaa cegi tye amiyi stress?" Halima said jokingly. For once I realized that I had lost weight. Honestly I have been eating in my house but the food lost its taste of late. But what touched me was the second part of her statement. I wanted to follow up the discussion but she excused herself requesting if we could meet the following day since she was to be free from work. I accepted and went back to Fidelis as she left. Fidelis had wiped her cup clean. I called the waiter to refill her. "Greg am tired, I suspect Henry is cheating on me." She said without signs of doubt in her voice. "I just don't know what to do." She added sipping her juice. " Why do you think so, Fidelis? Henry loves you." I asked. "As I told you before, love is a vice men use to get what they want, once they get it love loses its meaning and becomes a word of no value. Or let me use your analogy, "love is like water, on my side, I am receiving the negative effects of water. Life is taken away." She said. " Will you believe it when I tell you for two months now, my husband has never touched me?" She added. I did my quick calculations on the last time I made love to my wife and it was exactly six weeks ago. Two months and two weeks. "Why should he do that? You are a beautiful woman every man will be happy to have in bed." I asked. "That's what you say Greg, I wish my husband could have your eyes, just to see me the way you see me. He says he is too busy with office work to an extent he doesn't have time for me." " Am sorry for you girl, I understand how it feels..." " Greg you don't understand," she cut my statement. "Am a woman and I have feelings too, I need to be touched, be caressed, be cuddled and above all be laid in bed. What does being sorry for me help?" She lamented. The mention of cuddling made me miss that feeling more. That feeling of being touched by the tender hands of my wife. That feminine touch. I looked at this beautiful woman before me. Why should a man cheat on such a beautiful woman? "Greg, I wish I had the guts to cheat on my husband, but the love I have for him does not allow me to cheat on him. I love him and anytime I think of a man, he comes into my mind. I wish he could just understand that I can't date another man and he gives me my conjugal rights." She added. I had decided to be a good listener. I didn't want to take advantage of her. I didn't want to tell her my worries. I suspect her husband was sleeping around with my wife and for more than two months now I haven't seen my wife's nakedness. I had not gotten intimate and as a normal man dryspell was killing me. Sometimes I had thought of m**********n as the only solution but as a Christian, this was against my principles and ethics. This means that I have all my seeds accumulated with my testosterone levels exploding. "Fidelis, you are a beautiful woman and I always envy Henry for having you as his wife. Such a faithful wife he has. Am sure he will come back to you." I said, taking a sip of my juice. I don't know for how long we were here but I only felt hungry. We ordered our lunch after which we decided to have a nature walk. We hired a taxi that took us to Got Akia. We climbed it with difficulty, sometimes forcing me to pull her up. Once we got to the place I wanted us to be, we sat down side by side and started talking about nothing in particular. This was when I remembered my university colleague. Oyiro John Onyango. He once told me the story of love. Which I decided to share with Fidelis. "Fidelis, there is something I would like to tell you," I began. "My ears are listening Greg." She said holding my hand. "It's the story of love between Eagles." I said. "It's ok, hope it will make me happy." She added. "Eagles are the most romantic birds ever created by God. They are the most faithful too, just like the pigeons and doves. They stick to their partners not like us humans who can be in a relationship with more than one partner. Now the funny part about the eagles is that for the male to win the love of the female, it had to prove that it's worth it. The female chooses the best male to be the father of her children. The female picks a twig and flies up in the sky, the female drops the twig and it's the duty of the male to pick it up and return it back to the female before it touches the ground. This happens three times with the third time being the most dangerous one. The female eagle flies for over twenty four hours with the male trailing her, she then comes down to a height of less than a hundred meters from a fast flowing river then drops the twig. With the tiredness, the male eagle is supposed to pick the twig before it touches the water. You can imagine the risk involved. It either wins the love or drowns. If it wins then that's the beginning of the happiest marriage colored by romance and faithfulness." I concluded my story and asked her a question. " What is the moral lesson from the story Fide?"